Spiced Poppyseed Shortbread Cookies

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I have a greatness hangover.

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From breathing the same air as Celine Dion two nights ago.

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Never again in the rest of my ever loving life will I ever be in the same room as someone better.

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Since I was 6 years old, this woman has been my literal everything. What she did, I did in the mirror 10x over until I had it JUST right. I about FAINTED when she used a mic with a cord the entire night. If you don’t think I learned to twirl a mic with a cord and catch it at just the right moment like Celine does, you are MISTAKEN. & her ARMS. The paparazzi make it seem like she’s too thin or something. I am here to tell you this woman is a BEAST. Her arms rival Michelle Obama’s, there I said it. So strong, so graceful, so much power! She was doing, like, lunges and backbends and let us remember she is 51. I cannot. Don’t even get me started on her performance of My Heart Will Go On. She came out of the darkness in a giant ball gown & the Titanic music was playing & I just sobbed and sobbed until I was exhausted & my mascara was everywhere.

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& I tried to convince the arena attendants our VIP passes meant we actually got to meet her and I went through three levels of people until I was told to please leave.

 

Time; 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

  • 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1/4 cup of chopped coconut, unsweetened
  • 2 tsp. of poppy seeds
  • 1 tsp. of nutmeg
  • 1 tsp. of ground ginger
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1 cup of plant-based butter, softened
  • 3/4 cup of sugar
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of flax seed

How to:

  • In a small bowl, combine flax + 2.5 tbsp. of warm water, set aside
  • In a bowl, combine flours + coconut + poppy seeds + nutmeg + ginger + baking powder + a pinch of salt
  • In a mixer, combine butter + sugar until creamed together
  • Add vanilla + oil, beat on low
  • Once combined, add egg, + beat until combined
  • Slowly add in dry ingredients until everything is combined + it’s formed in a ball
  • Turn the bowl upside down on a large piece of parchment paper
  • Cover with another piece of parchment paper + roll into a thin rectangle, about 1/4 inch thick
  • Refrigerate for an hour
  • Preheat oven to 375
  • Remove the top parchment paper sheet + cut using a sharp knife into lil squares, placing on parchment paper lined cookie sheets
  • Bake 10-12 minutes
  • Remove + place cookies on a wire rack to cool
  • Eat 18 for an after dinner snack

 

 

Adapted from here!

PB + Chocolate Chip Skillet

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Give me a mic, put me in front of athletes & roll the camera.

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Because I am ready to become a sports reporter.

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I’m not sure why it’s taken me 28 long years to discover my destiny.

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Prob because I didn’t like sports until I was 25 and even then I only learned the rules like last year, but that’s neither here nor there. I went to my first NHL game this weekend. Am now a BIG hockey guy. It’s quick, it’s violent, I dig it. I just love the camaraderie at sporting events. All the strangers drinking overpriced brewskis and shouting at the top of their lungs, hoping for the same outcome. I love giving out high fives all willy nilly and becoming fast friends with the bros next to me. America, man. I think I could really provide some colorful commentary to stale ESPN and the like. All their anchors know too much, like rules and player names.  It’ll be less analyzing plays and more analyzing athlete moods and crowd energy  – the important stuff.

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Oh, and I’ll pack lil vegan treats for everyone to snack on in between plays!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + baking) | Serves: 6-8

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of S
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup of pure cane sugar
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of creamy PB
  • 1 tbsp. of flax meal
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 3/4 cup of vegan chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Grease a skillet with cooking spray
  • In a tiny bowl, combine flax with 3 tbsp. of warm water, mix + set aside
  • In a bowl, whisk flour + baking soda + S, set aside
  • In a mixer bowl, combine butter + sugars + PB, beat for two minutes on medium
  • Add in flax egg + vanilla extract, mix on high for a minute to get all that good good combined
  • Turn mixer on low + slowly add in dry ingredients a lil at a time until all combined
  • Turn off mixer + fold in chocolate chips
  • Spread cookie dough + pat down evenly in skillet
  • Bake 25 minutes, remove + let cool (it’ll cook more in the warm AF skillet!)
  • Cut + serve warm
  • Let it sit out on your counter + nibble on it every time you walk by + see if you can beat our household record of devouring in 5 hours

 

Adapted from here!

Coffee Cookies

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The Met Gala is a nice annual reminder that I am not what the kids would call “hip” and our world is pretty sick that we slingshot money at this kind of thing and watch it all unfold with bated breath.

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It took my friend approximately 45 minutes to explain the “camp” theme to me.

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FYI – I still don’t understand.

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While I thoroughly enjoyed the flamboyant fashion, I couldn’t help but wonder (*channels Carrie Bradshaw*) is this really the best use of this much wealth??? Like, I get it’s a fundraiser for the Met and these are millionaire celebrities who blow their noses in hundred dollar bills, but $35,000 a TICKET?! 100,000 humans could eat a hot meal for that (I have no idea of this is true). That’s just the ticket. The celebs only know if they’ve been invited like three weeks before so how much are they paying these designers to create wearable hamburgers on such short notice??? Idk, maybe I’m just jealous I’ll never receive a personal invitation from Anna Wintour requesting my presence on this carpet. Though, that is a BIG mistake, Anna, because I will happily pull a Gaga and do a 15-minute performance complete with 3 wardrobe changes and backup dancers as I make my entrance. I will, however, need to borrow $35,000 to make it happen.

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Cher performed, though, and that’s worth at least $27,000.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12-18 cookies

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter
  • 3/4 cup of coconut sugar
  • 4 tbsp. of dairy free milk (I used unsweetened vanilla almond milk)
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp. of instant coffee
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • In a mixer, combine butter + sugar until well combined
  • Add in milk + vanilla, combine well
  • Slowly add in flour while mixer is on low
  • Add in coffee + baking soda + salt, mix until a dough is formed
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop cookies onto a lined baking sheet
  • Flatten them a bit with the back of the scoop
  • Bake for 10 minutes, remove + let cool
  • Serve warm or room temperature
  • Dunk into your morning coffee + cram into your mouth, repeat until you explode