Coffee Cookies

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The Met Gala is a nice annual reminder that I am not what the kids would call “hip” and our world is pretty sick that we slingshot money at this kind of thing and watch it all unfold with bated breath.

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It took my friend approximately 45 minutes to explain the “camp” theme to me.

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FYI – I still don’t understand.

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While I thoroughly enjoyed the flamboyant fashion, I couldn’t help but wonder (*channels Carrie Bradshaw*) is this really the best use of this much wealth??? Like, I get it’s a fundraiser for the Met and these are millionaire celebrities who blow their noses in hundred dollar bills, but $35,000 a TICKET?! 100,000 humans could eat a hot meal for that (I have no idea of this is true). That’s just the ticket. The celebs only know if they’ve been invited like three weeks before so how much are they paying these designers to create wearable hamburgers on such short notice??? Idk, maybe I’m just jealous I’ll never receive a personal invitation from Anna Wintour requesting my presence on this carpet. Though, that is a BIG mistake, Anna, because I will happily pull a Gaga and do a 15-minute performance complete with 3 wardrobe changes and backup dancers as I make my entrance. I will, however, need to borrow $35,000 to make it happen.

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Cher performed, though, and that’s worth at least $27,000.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12-18 cookies

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter
  • 3/4 cup of coconut sugar
  • 4 tbsp. of dairy free milk (I used unsweetened vanilla almond milk)
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp. of instant coffee
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • In a mixer, combine butter + sugar until well combined
  • Add in milk + vanilla, combine well
  • Slowly add in flour while mixer is on low
  • Add in coffee + baking soda + salt, mix until a dough is formed
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop cookies onto a lined baking sheet
  • Flatten them a bit with the back of the scoop
  • Bake for 10 minutes, remove + let cool
  • Serve warm or room temperature
  • Dunk into your morning coffee + cram into your mouth, repeat until you explode

Gingerbread Nice Cream

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Fun fact: as a child I wanted to be one of two things: actress or waitress.

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The great dichotomy of my skill set.

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Truth be told, I did quite a bit of dinner theatre as a child. I had star potential, I tell you! Plus, I perfected refilling water glasses at the ripe old age of 7.

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For I don’t know how many years, I was the only kid in this Christmas show. You could find me singing such classics as “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” with my two front teeth blacked out with shoe polish (is this toxic??), “Jolly Old St. Nicholas,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and “Feliz Navidad,” fashioning a giant sombrero on my miniature body. It was a real crowd pleaser. The show was truly the mark of Christmas in my family because obviously my entire extended family came to every single show. The attention fueled my performances. My grandfather also enjoyed the unlimited cheesecake.

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After the shows, they’d put me at coat check holding the tip jar. Geniuses, the lot of ’em.

 

 

Time: 2.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: approx. 4 servings of nice cream

Ingredients:

  • 8 bananas
  • 1/4 cup of molasses
  • 1 tbsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. of pumpkin pie spice
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • Ginger bread cookies, at least 2, but more for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine bananas + molasses + ginger + cinnamon + pumpkin pie spice + vanilla + lemon juice + 2 gingerbread cookies
  • Spread in an even layer in a pan
  • Crumble a couple more cookies on top
  • Freeze at least two hours
  • Serve cold with more crumbled cookies
  • Eat straight of pan in your most fashionable sweats like I did

 

Adapted from here!