Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread

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Favorite places on Earth in order: 1) Airports 2) Trader Joe’s

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That’s it. That’s the whole list.

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Those are the places I am the most at home, the best version of myself, really.

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Because my local TJ’s is legit over an hour away, I adopt the PPPPP motto. Prior planning prevents poor performance. There is no room for error on these trips. A list is non-negotiable. It’s impossible to walk into that heavenly establishment without impulse buying, but you have to set some ground rules. Only one unnecessary purchase from each aisle – two from the frozen food aisle that’s lined with the cookies and sweet treats. Because it’s so far, I can only make it on weekends, meaning the joint is jumping. Peeps are packed in their like sardines! Comfortable shoes are a must. Keep your head down and your elbows slightly bowed – you might have to throw a couple if you and some gal are both reaching for the last cauliflower gnocchi. When shopping with pals, consider sharing a cart – this cuts down on the space you and your posse take up. It also makes you all look like a couple of radical broads on a mission cause you’re carrying a lot of stuff in your arms trying to catch up with your rogue cart as your friend beelines to the cheese.

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Do consider tipping your checkout guy if you share a cart because you will inevitably aggravate the stew out of him as you all divvy up your goodies.

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Seves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup of pure cane sugar
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 3 tsp. of baking powder
  • 2 zucchini, washed + shredded
  • 1 cup of vegan chocolate chips
  • 1 ripe banana, mashed
  • 1/2 cup of favie non-dairy milk
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tbsp. of flax seed
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. of nutmeg
  • Pinch of S

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Prepare a flax egg by combining flax seed + 3 tbsp. of hot water, stir + set aside
  • In a large mixing bowl, combine flour + sugars + baking powder + cinnamon + nutmeg + S, mix well
  • Add zucchini + banana + milk + olive oil + vanilla + flax egg, mix well
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Line a loaf pan with parchment paper + spray with some nonstick spray
  • Pour batter into pan + spread in an even layer
  • Bake one hour or until a toothpick comes out clean
  • Let cool for a bit
  • Serve warm, cold, room temp, for breakfast, lunch dinner, snack, I don’t care just eat it and if you don’t feel instantly happier, I’ll give you your money back, no I won’t

 

Adapted from here!

Sweet Potato + Black Bean Enchilada Skillet

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Homeless people are going to put me in the poor house.

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I simply cannot say no to them.

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They can smell my weakness and middle class guilt from a mile away.

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My local grocery store has become a hotbed for sweet homeless men – my kryptonite. The other day there was a man holding a sign that read, “Looking for work. Cold. Hungry.” And he had a sweet baby PUPPERS with him. You better believe I whipped through the nearest ATM to get that gentleman a $20. After that I was like OK, kewl, good deed, I’m done. Then this weekend, I’m leaving the grocery store and a man in camo pants and a Jesus t-shirt asks if I’ll buy him some lunch at McDonald’s. I literally didn’t have time, but I had the other $20 I had gotten out during my ATM trip for my first BFF. He was legit so touched I almost lost it. “This will last me 3-4 days!!!!” K kill me now. I’m hooked. No going back. I honestly don’t care what they do with it, buy a meal, buy a beer, I don’t give a hoot. I just don’t think Jesus would ignore them or turn away, so I can’t either!

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Bet they have a picture of me posted somewhere with a fat “SUCKER” stamped across my face.

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 2 sweet potatoes, cut into cubes
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 package of soyrizo
  • 4 corn tortillas, chopped
  • 2 onions, chopped
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 green bell pepper, chopped
  • 1 can of green chiles
  • 7 dried New Mexico chiles, tops cut off
  • 2 dried arbol chiles, tops cut off + some or all seeds removed, depending on how much spice you like
  • 2 cups of vegetable broth
  • 1/4 cup of tomato paste
  • 2 tsp. of cumin
  • 2 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • To prepare enchilada sauce, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a large rimmed skillet
  • Add 1 of the chopped onions + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add chiles, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add broth + bring to a boil
  • Reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + 1 tsp. of cumin + 1 tsp. of chili powder + oregano + S+P, cook another 5 minutes
  • Transfer to a food processor or blender + blend until smooth
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining 1 tbsp. of olive oil a cast iron skillet over medium heat
  • Add remaining onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add sweet potatoes + remaining cumin + smoked paprika + chili powder + S+P, cook 15-17 minutes or until potatoes are tender
  • While potatoes are cooking, heat remaining olive oil in another skillet over medium heat
  • Add soyrizo, cook 5-6 minutes
  • Add black beans + green pepper, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Once potatoes are tender, add soyrizo + bean mix + enchilada sauce + tortillas, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve warm with cilantro + avocado
  • Pour into local hog trough + eat from it like the beast you really are

 

Enchilada sauce from here!

Vegan Sloppy Joes

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I did it. I’ve taken the plunge.

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I’ve done a swan dive into the deep blue sea that is finally binge watching Friends.

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Why has it taken me this long, you ask? Oh, I don’t know. I’m just not big on conforming.

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This isn’t true. I love rules and following order. 10 seasons of anything is just such a big commitment. Who has the time? Who can stand to see this exquisitely cast ensemble in timeless situations? Who wants to just be blissfully ignorant of the world’s turmoil for perfectly carved out 20 minute blocks of time? Well, everyone unless you are a space alien or someone with a really radical social life. It’s just such a darn good program, ya know? I always LOVED having the same name as Jennifer Aniston’s character. My dad used to tell me, “They gave the prettiest girl the prettiest name.” This gave me a complex for a long time, but man, did I love hearing it! And the CLOTHES! My mother dressed just like them in the 90s and I idolized her style. I wish it was still acceptable for women in their mid to late 20s to sport their bare midriff in any and every situation. How freeing.

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It’s nice watching on Netflix because every like 3 episodes it judges me and asks if I’m still watching.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of lentils, cooked
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 12 oz. can of tomato sauce
  • 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add green pepper, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add tomato sauce + paste + soy sauce + apple cider vinegar + chili powder + cumin + oregano + paprika + red pepper + S+P, bring to a lil boil, turn down heat + simmer for 7-8 minutes
  • Add beans + lentils, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve on toasted buns
  • Strap on your bib + pull that hair in your nastiest top knot + just smash your face in a large plate of this