Gingerbread Nice Cream

fullsizeoutput_636

Fun fact: as a child I wanted to be one of two things: actress or waitress.

fullsizeoutput_64a

The great dichotomy of my skill set.

fullsizeoutput_64e

Truth be told, I did quite a bit of dinner theatre as a child. I had star potential, I tell you! Plus, I perfected refilling water glasses at the ripe old age of 7.

fullsizeoutput_657

For I don’t know how many years, I was the only kid in this Christmas show. You could find me singing such classics as “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” with my two front teeth blacked out with shoe polish (is this toxic??), “Jolly Old St. Nicholas,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and “Feliz Navidad,” fashioning a giant sombrero on my miniature body. It was a real crowd pleaser. The show was truly the mark of Christmas in my family because obviously my entire extended family came to every single show. The attention fueled my performances. My grandfather also enjoyed the unlimited cheesecake.

fullsizeoutput_642

After the shows, they’d put me at coat check holding the tip jar. Geniuses, the lot of ’em.

 

 

Time: 2.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: approx. 4 servings of nice cream

Ingredients:

  • 8 bananas
  • 1/4 cup of molasses
  • 1 tbsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. of pumpkin pie spice
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • Ginger bread cookies, at least 2, but more for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine bananas + molasses + ginger + cinnamon + pumpkin pie spice + vanilla + lemon juice + 2 gingerbread cookies
  • Spread in an even layer in a pan
  • Crumble a couple more cookies on top
  • Freeze at least two hours
  • Serve cold with more crumbled cookies
  • Eat straight of pan in your most fashionable sweats like I did

 

Adapted from here!

Lemon Blueberry Poppyseed Muffins

fullsizeoutput_e8

I’ve gone to warm yoga 15 times in the last month and feel I can officially call myself a yogi now.

fullsizeoutput_13b

It is so unlike me to try something new all on my own, but I just strutted up into that yoga studio one day and pretended like I knew what I was doing and BAM! Now your girl can do crow pose. (It happened once for 10 seconds, but counting it as a W.)

fullsizeoutput_13c

Why didn’t you all make me join a studio sooner? Did you like me being mentally unstable and flabby?

fullsizeoutput_13e

I mean, I’m definitely the worst person in every single class I attend, but the judgement is really minimal. I’ve only been corrected like two times! I absolutely sweat my socks off so I leave feeling detoxified and refreshed and so disgusting I must rush home immediately to avoid being seen and confused for someone who just fell down a well. All of the instructors are so beautiful and unique and have the most soothing voices. Sometimes they read from meditation books and I’m like, do y’all wanna come over and  read me novels while I do household chores cause I wouldn’t hate it and also I would not turn down a bedtime story. THE VERY BEST is at the end when they place a lavender-infused cold cloth on my dripping forehead & massage my neck and shoulders. I’m so relaxed and genuinely happy in that moment I always have to stay really aware of my mouth. “Rachel, keep it together, do NOT creepily smile in this chick’s face!!”

fullsizeoutput_e9

I don’t let myself think about the fact that she massaged 20 other sweaty humans without using hand sanitizer in between. Nope.

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + baking) | Serves: 1 dozen

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 2 1/2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp. of baking soda
  • 3 tbsp. of poppyseeds
  • Juice + zest of 1 lemon + 2 tbsp. (grab 2 lemons at the store)
  • 2/3 cup of granulated sugar
  • 1/3 cup of olive oil
  • 1 cup of flax milk (or other non-dairy milk)
  • 1 tsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 cup of blueberries
  • Pinch of salt
  • 3/4 cup of powdered sugar

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375
  • In a lil bowl, combine flax milk + apple cider vinegar, set aside for 10 minutes and let curdle (isn’t curdle the worst word on planet earth?)
  • In a large bowl, combine flour + baking powder + baking soda + salt + poppyseeds
  • In another bowl, combine juice of 1 lemon + zest (reserve the other 2 tbsp) + granulated sugar + olive oil
  • Whisk in curdle milk
  • Now pour wet ingredients into dry, whisking as you pour
  • Fold in blueberries
  • Using a lil cookie scoop, pour some muffin mix into a lined muffin pan
  • Bake 15 minutes
  • Meanwhile, whisk together remaining lemon juice + powdered sugar until you got a lil drizzle
  • Remove muffins + top with lemon glaze + let cool
  • Serve warm
  • Stab each of your fingers into individual muffins, lift hands + do muffin finger puppet shows for friends

 

Adapted from here!

Chocolate Chip Muffies

BE0D52B5-F50F-46F7-B4B1-12EEE8F8D7DA

It’s time I tell you about Muffie.

91986B88-C580-46E1-8FAA-A16C3EC333CB

She’s just a girl, like you and me.

056461D6-C248-43D1-A2A3-172B76E50BB0

Except she happens to be my alter ego and is named after the good part of a muffin.

C76960CD-C0E3-4D3F-8FDF-1231BA8991ED

You see, in college, all of my friends had really funny alter egos with unique personalities who would appear at different times. I was just always Rachel. Boring ‘ole Rachel. UNTIL one day while dining at a Panera Bread before a Gavin DeGraw concert at the local casino, my pals and I spotted a tray of lil muffies sitting in the window. I locked eyes with the muffin top delights, and just knew. I AM Muffie, Muffie is me – pillowy, sweet, full of chocolate chips, soft edges, slightly pretentious. And so, it was there in that chain restaurant that Muffie was born.

471BD943-2E9E-4295-9EDB-D07EBB5497F8

Like the dessert she’s named for, Muffie is really the best version of myself.

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12

Ingredients:

  • 1 ripe banana, mashed
  • 1/2 cup of melted vegan butter
  • 1/3 cup of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tbsp. of agave
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. of nutmeg
  • 1/2 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour
  • 2/3 cup of vegan chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 355 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine banana + butter + sugar + extract + agave until creamy
  • Stir in salt + baking soda + nutmeg + cinnamon
  • Fold in half of the flour, combine
  • Fold in rest of the flour until fully combined
  • Fold in 3/4 of the chocolate chips
  • On a lined baking sheet, scoop a heaping amount of batter with a cookie scoop + arrange, repeat
  • Top with remaining chocolate chips
  • Bake 14-15 minutes + let cool slightly
  • Serve
  • Sneak down to the kitchen late at night + eat all of these in the dark like the chocolate monster you are

 

 

Adapted from here!