Spiced Poppyseed Shortbread Cookies

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I have a greatness hangover.

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From breathing the same air as Celine Dion two nights ago.

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Never again in the rest of my ever loving life will I ever be in the same room as someone better.

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Since I was 6 years old, this woman has been my literal everything. What she did, I did in the mirror 10x over until I had it JUST right. I about FAINTED when she used a mic with a cord the entire night. If you don’t think I learned to twirl a mic with a cord and catch it at just the right moment like Celine does, you are MISTAKEN. & her ARMS. The paparazzi make it seem like she’s too thin or something. I am here to tell you this woman is a BEAST. Her arms rival Michelle Obama’s, there I said it. So strong, so graceful, so much power! She was doing, like, lunges and backbends and let us remember she is 51. I cannot. Don’t even get me started on her performance of My Heart Will Go On. She came out of the darkness in a giant ball gown & the Titanic music was playing & I just sobbed and sobbed until I was exhausted & my mascara was everywhere.

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& I tried to convince the arena attendants our VIP passes meant we actually got to meet her and I went through three levels of people until I was told to please leave.

 

Time; 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3 dozen cookies

Ingredients:

  • 3/4 cup of all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1/4 cup of chopped coconut, unsweetened
  • 2 tsp. of poppy seeds
  • 1 tsp. of nutmeg
  • 1 tsp. of ground ginger
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1 cup of plant-based butter, softened
  • 3/4 cup of sugar
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of flax seed

How to:

  • In a small bowl, combine flax + 2.5 tbsp. of warm water, set aside
  • In a bowl, combine flours + coconut + poppy seeds + nutmeg + ginger + baking powder + a pinch of salt
  • In a mixer, combine butter + sugar until creamed together
  • Add vanilla + oil, beat on low
  • Once combined, add egg, + beat until combined
  • Slowly add in dry ingredients until everything is combined + it’s formed in a ball
  • Turn the bowl upside down on a large piece of parchment paper
  • Cover with another piece of parchment paper + roll into a thin rectangle, about 1/4 inch thick
  • Refrigerate for an hour
  • Preheat oven to 375
  • Remove the top parchment paper sheet + cut using a sharp knife into lil squares, placing on parchment paper lined cookie sheets
  • Bake 10-12 minutes
  • Remove + place cookies on a wire rack to cool
  • Eat 18 for an after dinner snack

 

 

Adapted from here!

PB + Chocolate Chip Skillet

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Give me a mic, put me in front of athletes & roll the camera.

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Because I am ready to become a sports reporter.

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I’m not sure why it’s taken me 28 long years to discover my destiny.

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Prob because I didn’t like sports until I was 25 and even then I only learned the rules like last year, but that’s neither here nor there. I went to my first NHL game this weekend. Am now a BIG hockey guy. It’s quick, it’s violent, I dig it. I just love the camaraderie at sporting events. All the strangers drinking overpriced brewskis and shouting at the top of their lungs, hoping for the same outcome. I love giving out high fives all willy nilly and becoming fast friends with the bros next to me. America, man. I think I could really provide some colorful commentary to stale ESPN and the like. All their anchors know too much, like rules and player names.  It’ll be less analyzing plays and more analyzing athlete moods and crowd energy  – the important stuff.

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Oh, and I’ll pack lil vegan treats for everyone to snack on in between plays!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + baking) | Serves: 6-8

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of S
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup of pure cane sugar
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of creamy PB
  • 1 tbsp. of flax meal
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 3/4 cup of vegan chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Grease a skillet with cooking spray
  • In a tiny bowl, combine flax with 3 tbsp. of warm water, mix + set aside
  • In a bowl, whisk flour + baking soda + S, set aside
  • In a mixer bowl, combine butter + sugars + PB, beat for two minutes on medium
  • Add in flax egg + vanilla extract, mix on high for a minute to get all that good good combined
  • Turn mixer on low + slowly add in dry ingredients a lil at a time until all combined
  • Turn off mixer + fold in chocolate chips
  • Spread cookie dough + pat down evenly in skillet
  • Bake 25 minutes, remove + let cool (it’ll cook more in the warm AF skillet!)
  • Cut + serve warm
  • Let it sit out on your counter + nibble on it every time you walk by + see if you can beat our household record of devouring in 5 hours

 

Adapted from here!

Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bites

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My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.

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Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.

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Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!

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I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.

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I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.

 

 

Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of packed dates
  • 1 cup of raw walnuts
  • 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/3 cup of coconut oil
  • 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
  • 1/2 cup of agave
  • 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
  • Flaky sea salt, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
  • Add walnuts + process into a meal
  • To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
  • Place in freezer while you work on the filling
  • Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
  • Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
  • Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
  • Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
  • To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
  • In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here

 

Adapted from here!