Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bites

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My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.

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Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.

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Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!

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I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.

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I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.

 

 

Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of packed dates
  • 1 cup of raw walnuts
  • 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/3 cup of coconut oil
  • 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
  • 1/2 cup of agave
  • 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
  • Flaky sea salt, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
  • Add walnuts + process into a meal
  • To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
  • Place in freezer while you work on the filling
  • Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
  • Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
  • Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
  • Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
  • To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
  • In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here

 

Adapted from here!

Chocolate + Date Oat Bars

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I am a 19 year old frat boy.

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In that I have been living like a stuffed pig this week.

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Garr was traveling this week and I was bound and determined to get the house spic and span after several weeks of both of us traveling.

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The laundry basket overflowing with three clean loads I’ve yet to fold tell a different story. I literally just dug through it to get some clean workout clothes for yoga tomorrow. I am ashamed of myself. Yet here I sit. Writing this. Instead of doing my chores. The irony. I was also going to clean all the bathrooms. I managed to put my hairbrush under the sink and contact solution in the drawer. The end. I also had big plans to sweep & mop on my lunch break. Did I instead read The Bachelorette spoilers? You better believe it. I even only ran Felix (roomba) once in 4 days. That is literally unacceptable! He’s used to a daily workout. I’ve reached a new level of lazy if I cannot *press* his button. I’m blaming it on the full moon. It’s sucking my energy for its weird lunar purposes.

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I have at least showered every day and for that I applaud myself.

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12 bars

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 cup of rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup of granulated sugar
  • Pinch of S
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter, melted
  • 12 oz. of pitted dates
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of vegan semisweet chocolate chips

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Coat a 9×13 baking dish with cooking spray + top with a sheet of parchment paper
  • Meanwhile, combine flour + oats + sugar + S
  • Slowly stir in melted butter until combined
  • Scoop 2/3 of the mix into the bottom of the baking dish + pat into a flat layer
  • Pop in the freezer while you make the filling
  • In a food processor, combine dates + vanilla + pinch of S + 1/2 cup of hot water + process on high until smooth
  • Transfer to a bowl + fold in chocolate chips
  • Spread date mix on top of the oat base
  • Top with leftover oat mix + pat down
  • Bake for 40 minutes or until golden brown
  • Let cool for an hour + pop in the freezer for a bit to set
  • Cut into bars + serve! Or individually wrap them + pop back in the freezer for snacking throughout the week
  • Fasten on your bib, partner, there are going to be some serious crumbs

 

Adapted from here!

Lemon Tarts

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In a galaxy far, far away lives the version of myself that used to be fun.

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There was a time when I was the life of the party!

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That’s a lie, my social anxiety has always kept me from obtaining that title.

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But I could hang! I mean, in WA, Garr and I used to start a Saturday with a fab brunch & spend the next 8 hours exploring & shopping & eating & listening to live music & doing photoshoots & stumbling upon random festivals & strolling by the water. Fast forward like 1.5 years & Garr and I go to Raleigh for the day, thinking it’ll be like our wild Seattle days. NAHT. We kick things off with brunch, old faithful. Turns out, this place makes all vegan desserts. Mmkay. So we order a peanut butter pie. At 11am. MISTAKE. We immediately need to be tucked in for a nap. But we must persevere! We decide to walk around downtown and find some coffee. This helps but only momentarily. We’re fading. It’s 12:30pm. We try to shop but nothing is catching our eye. We try to stop and grab a drink at this really hip restaurant but there are no seats at the bar. The world is conspiring against us! We’re at a crossroads, we can power through or we can embrace our aging, failing bodies and ditch the downtown scene, go to Trader Joe’s and go home for a siesta. 

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Got to TJ’s in time to snag ALLLLL the cauliflower gnocchis. Holler.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + baking) | Serves: 12 tarts

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened, shredded cocount
  • 1 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of coconut oil
  • 1 cup of raw almonds, soaked overnight or placed in a bowl + covered in boiling water, letting soak for 30 minutes-hour, drained
  • Juice of 2 lemons
  • 2 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • Pinch of turmeric
  • 1/4 cup of coconut milk
  • Pinch of S
  • Blueberries + raspberries for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine coconut + flour + sugar + 2 tbsp. of the coconut oil + the S, pulse until well combined + sticks together
  • Scoop a tbsp. of the crust mix in lined muffin tins + press flat
  • Bake for 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, rinse out food processor
  • Add remaining coconut oil + almonds + lemon juice + agave + vanilla extract + turmeric, process + slowly pour in coconut milk, process until smooth + creamy
  • Scoop 1-2 tbsp. of lemon filling onto each crust + smooth it out
  • Freeze for 2 hours
  • Serve chilled with fruit on top
  • Take a giant bite out of a tart + smile as wide as the dent you made in it + snap a selfie with your tart + make it your profile picture

 

Adapted from here!