Crunch Wraps

She’s here!

Baby Louisa is on the outside of my body, finally.

And we are starting to have something resembling structured naps??? So I am finally returning to the blog-o-sphere.

She is so kewl, y’all. I won’t share anything embarrassing about her because this will be on the interwebs forever and I don’t really need to give her future teenage self another reason to resent me. So I will just share the following: she smells delicious, like a pink ball of love; she has a thick head of dark lettuce & her daddy’s killer cowlick right up front – something to resent him for down the line for which I’m v grateful; she has big blue eyes but they are deeper than mine and Garrett’s so she could have a different father, who is to say; oh and she was 8.5 lbs at birth & mom paid for it.

That last bit wasn’t embarrassing was it? Because I promised myself the embarrassing bit I wouldn’t share is that she blows out her diapers & gets poop on her belly like once a week.

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 crunch wraps

Ingredients:

  • 6 burrito sized flour tortillas
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1.5 cups of brown rice, cooked
  • 2 tbsp. of hummus
  • 1 avocado, mashed or sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of corn
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 roma tomato, diced
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 2-3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Lay down a tortilla on a flat surface (not the skillet yet) + top with rice + beans + veggies + hummus + S+P
  • Trim a lil bit off around another tortilla, making it slightly smaller than the one topped with goodness rn
  • Place the smaller tortilla on the bigger one + tuck the bigger one over it, folding all the edges
  • As carefully as possible (there will be spillage), place seam side down in hot skillet, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Flip, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Carefully cut in half + serve warm
  • Say a prayer you can fold your tortillas better than I can + avoid eating half the contents out of the skillet

Vegan Buffalo Meatballs

I’m hoping this is my last blog post.

At least for a little while, you can’t get rid of me completely, idiots!

Our little girl is due on Sunday! And despite me being convinced this entire month she was coming early, she is really making us work for it.

I started maternity leave this week and am just soaking up this quiet time before the imminent chaos. I should probably keep reading our baby book or watching YouTube videos about how to actually care for this child. Instead, I keep finding random things to clean. Today, for instance, I cleaned out the refrigerator and then pulled up all of the air vents & cleaned their insides, too. Oh, then I magic erased some walls. Very productive, if I do say so myself.

I may not know how to care for this child, but at least she has a clean place to come home to!

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 dozen meatballs

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, riced
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup of panko breadcrumbs
  • 2 tbsp. of flaxseed meal
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 cup of buffalo sauce
  • Greens, for serving

How to:

  • In a small bowl, combine flaxseed meal + 6 tbsp. of water, mix + set aside for a few minutes
  • In a bowl, combine cauliflower + quinoa + cilantro + flour + breadcrumbs + flax eggs + crushed red pepper + S+P
  • Refrigerate for 30 minutes
  • Heat 1 tbsp of oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Form mixture into about a dozen meatballs + fry up on all sides
  • Repeat with remaining oil + meatballs
  • Place in a dish + douse in buffalo sauce
  • Serve atop your greens
  • Allow this to count as your workout for the day with the amount of sweating you’re bound to do

Meatballs adapted from here!

Mediterranean Nachos

Our world is so divided right now.

We desperately need something to unite us.

Enter: a new season of The Bachelorette.

It feels like months since we’ve had a new season. Oh wait…. I truly feel like yesterday in anticipation of the premiere the internet was the happiest it’s been all 2020. The people really came together in excitement over this absolute dumpster fire of a season. I was jazzed all day until about 3pm when my internet went out. They said it would be back by 7:06 and I resolved to be OK with missing the first 6 minutes. Don’t you know it didn’t come back until 6 THIS MORNING. What a first world, minor inconvenience I had to suffer and be BEHIND on this morning’s internet jokes and memes.

But I’m caught up now and you cannot convince me otherwise that Clare and Dale were in cahoots long before this started.

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • Pita chips
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 English cucumber, 1/2 sliced thin + 1/2 shredded on a cheese grater
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives
  • 1 cup of plain vegan yogurt
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro or parsley, to taste (I hate parsley and you won’t see me use it even when I should)

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Bake 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, combine yogurt + shredded cucumber + lemon juice + remaining olive oil + S+P
  • To serve, arrange some pita chips on a plate + top with chickpeas + cucumber slices + tomatoes + olives + drizzle with tzatziki + top with cilantro or parsley
  • Serve room temp
  • Slap on a bib cause you’re getting tzatziki allllll over you