Warm Chickpeas + Kale

I’m not entirely sure what the definition of a blizzard is.

But I am 100% positive I was in one this weekend.

It was just snow. Snow, everywhere. Whipping around in equally horrifying wind gusts.

It’s like, I like Colorado just fine, ya know? Then it has to go and do this. And I’m reminded, I’m not sure I like it all that much after all. I’m pretty sure we got several feet of snow, though I can’t confirm because I did not go out there with my tape measure. But I did look across the street at my neighbor’s house and there was snow piled up on their doorway. Like, if they had opened their door, snow just would have fallen onto their threshold. Poor Topanga has a hard enough life these days competing with Louisa for attention. Add in pooping in chest deep snow and she about called it quits on me this weekend.

But it’s starting to melt & I’m left here wondering…”Will all this snow cause the ground to soften too much and sinkholes to form & my house to get sucked down????”

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 bunch of kale, rinsed + destemmed + roughly chopped
  • 2 medium shallots, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of paprika
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Brown rice, for serving
  • Juice of a 1/2 a lemon

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a stock pot over medium heat
  • Add shallots + garlic + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add cumin + crushed red pepper + paprika, cook another minute
  • Add chickpeas + 1/4 cup of water, cook 6-8 minutes, mashing chickpeas a bit as you go
  • Add kale + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes until kale is wilter
  • Serve over brown rice with lemon juice
  • Curl up + watch the blizzard + contemplate what you led you to this tundra while you eat

Adapted from here!

Kale Dolmas

fullsizeoutput_fbb

There’s a reason I didn’t go into the medical field.

fullsizeoutput_fa8

You might guess it’s because of the blood or guts or puke or just bodily functions in general.

fullsizeoutput_fab

Those don’t really bother me tbh. I’m just a big, fat spaz.

fullsizeoutput_fae

Due to some stellar medical issues, I have to take these shots. I was in the doctor’s office yesterday and my nurse showed me how to do my new shot and then asked me to demonstrate so she knew I wasn’t an idiot. My how she overestimated me. Not only am I an idiot, I am a dangerous idiot. I put the shot together just fine. I was taking it apart and putting the little plastic piece back on the needle when somehow the needle went sideways through the plastic and into my finger. It bled. I let out a minor profanity. My nurse was like, “Huh OK I have truly never seen that before.”

fullsizeoutput_fbe

What can I say, I like being the first at things.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 7-8 dolmas

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of lacinato kale leaves
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of tempeh, crumbled
  • 2 cups of brown rice, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of fresh dill
  • 2 tbsp. of parsley, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/2 cup of vegan, plain yogurt
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add kale leaves a few at a time, cooking for 3-4 minutes
  • Remove + place on a kitchen towel + pat dry
  • In a bowl, combine yogurt + lemon juice + some S+P, set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add tempeh, cook 6-7 minutes or until starting to brown
  • Add rice + parsley + dill + S+P, cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add half of the yogurt mix
  • Place a kale leaf on a flat surface
  • Fill with a hefty scoop of the rice mix right in the middle
  • Fold like a hamburger first, then a hotdog (you know what I’m talking about), place seam side down on a plate
  • Serve with remaining yogurt sauce
  • Accidentally eat all of them in one sitting + watch your tummy balloon from all of the delectable rice kernels

 

Adapted from here!

Sweet Potato + Apple Hash

fullsizeoutput_f67

2020 is the year of decluttering.

fullsizeoutput_f5b

I want to sell all of my possessions and live in a sterile environment with the bare essentials. I feel like I really just need a bed, a plate or two, a pot and maybe like a hot plate or something.

fullsizeoutput_f5d

Basically, I should just go to jail.

fullsizeoutput_f60

I need space! Mental and physical space to just roam and focus on the important things in life. Or something. Idk what I’m talking about anymore. But I do know I’m decluttering! This weekend, I’m forcing Garr to help me tackle the kitchen and bathroom cabinets. I want to get rid of at least 1/2 the things we own and organize what remains. He loves when I have a really long honey-do list for him on Saturdays. In addition, I have unsubscribed from almost all emails. Literally only Bath and Body Works can get in touch with me now. I am also off Facebook and my personal instagram. I simply do not have the mental capacity to scroll through social media and process all the selfies and political rants anymore. I’m exhausted. Hopefully with all this mental and physical space I will have the room to find and fulfill my destiny!

fullsizeoutput_f64

Which is probably just being really good at puzzles and avoiding socialization.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled + chopped
  • 1 red fuji apple, chopped
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 cup of kale, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine dijon + soy sauce + garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add tempeh, coat + set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add sweet potatoes + chili powder + smoked paprika + cumin + S+P, cook 8- 10 minutes or until potatoes start to brown on the outside + become tender
  • Add tempeh, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add apple, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Add kale + S+P, cook one more minute
  • Serve warm with some avocado slices
  • Enjoy guilt free knowing you didn’t even cave + add a bucket of rice to this