Vegan Zucchini Lasagna

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I am getting too adventurous for my own good.

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This weekend, I stayed in an AirBNB………………..while the owners were home. *GASP*

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Garr & I went to Portland for the weekend. I put him in charge of finding our shelter. When will I learn?

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He finds this place. He’s really jazzed. Shows me pix & is all, “It’s only like $90!” My only request when partaking in this archaic form of overnight stay is to have the place to myself. I do not want to run into Mrs. Gladstone as I’m headed to tinkle. Not happening. He’s all, “Yeah, we definitely have the place to ourselves.” Please take a guess as to whether he was correct.

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Did I mention it was a basement?

 

 

P.S. The owners were the sweetest people ever & the basement apartment was super chic and remodeled. 5 stars. I am a drama queen for the sake of drama. Love me.

 

 

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 4-5 zucchini squash, sliced in thin ribbons
  • 1 jar of your favie marinara sauce
  • 3 cups of raw almonds
  • 2-3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1/2 cup of fresh basil, plus more for serving
  • 1 tsp. of dried oregano
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Soak almonds in very hot water for one hour, drain
  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • In a food processor, pulse almonds until very fine
  • Add nutritional yeast + basil + oregano + crushed red pepper + lemon juice + S+P
  • Process on low + add in olive oil
  • Process until well combined
  • Pour some marinara in the bottom of a baking dish
  • Add a layer of zucchini noodles
  • Spread some of the almond cheese – it’s not super spready so I crumbled + flattened it!
  • Repeat until all zucchini is used
  • Cover + bake for 45 minutes
  • Remove cover + bake another 15 minutes
  • Serve hot with fresh basil or parsley
  • Scoop up handful + rub generously on face + let the almond crumble exfoliate your pores

 

 

Adapted from here!

http://minimalistbaker.com/8-ingredient-zucchini-lasagna-gf/

Lasagna Roll-Ups

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I want to win a competition.

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I don’t excel at any one activity so I’m not sure what kind of competition I should enter. I just want to beat other humans at something.

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It’s this darn CrossFit competition my husband had me watching. You’d think it would inspire me to exercise, but it really just made me want to be better than everyone at an activity.

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Just once I’d like to run through a finish line with my head & fists held high. I was blessed with a competitive spirit yet no actual talents. What is this about???

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I need someone to create a cheesy noodle snack-making competition so I can run you all into the ground.

 

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of whole wheat lasagna noodles
  • 3 cups of ricotta cheese
  • 1/4 cup of mozzarella cheese
  • 1 tbsp. of parmesan cheese, shredded + more for serving
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup of spinach
  • 1 jar of tomato sauce
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • Cook noodles to al dente + drain
  • In a bowl, combine ricotta + mozzarella + parmesan + egg + spinach + crushed red pepper + S+P
  • Pour a little of the sauce in the bottom of a baking dish
  • Lay noodles out + spread some of the cheese mixture onto each
  • Roll up + arrange seam side down in the baking dish
  • Cover with remaining sauce
  • Bake for 23-25 minutes
  • Serve hot + top with some parmesan
  • Shove 3 roll-ups in your mouth + smile big

Mexican Lasagna

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An entire year of marriage.

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I’ve learned so much. I’d like to share some of my wisdom with you all.

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Those quirks your significant other said were cute while you were dating… Yeah he was lying. I have this thing where I smack. Not just gum, but like all of my food. It’s the worst when I’m having my morning bagel & smear. The cream cheese makes lots of noises when it gets stuck to my palate. My point is that the truth will come out. Eventually, he will look at you across the breakfast table & beg you to shut the hole in your face while you chew.

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Also, your home will never be tidy again. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you. It’s him. It’s because your husband has a lot of crap. & that crap has to share a space with your crap. Before you know it, there are just these corners where things like piles of shoes live. It’s infuriating. He won’t put away his things. He will, however, do the dishes & this is why we keep him. Hold on to this.

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At the end of the day, marriage hasn’t changed me that much. As long as he tells me I’m hot every day I’m golden.

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 8 tomatoes off the vine
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped + more for serving
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 8 corn tortillas
  • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled + diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 12 oz. of soyrizo, cooked
  • 1 cup of spicy cheese, shredded
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange tomatoes on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Broil for 10 minutes
  • Carefully remove blistered skin
  • Add jalapeno + cilantro + lime juice + 1/2 the onion to a food processor, pulse on low
  • Add tomatoes + Pulse until almost smooth
  • Turn oven heat down to 400 degrees
  • Add some salsa to the bottom of a baking dish
  • Lay 2 tortillas down
  • Top with some more salsa + 1/2the sweet potatoes + 1/2 of the remaining onion + 1/2 the black beans + 1/2 the soyrizo
  • Lay 4 tortillas down + spread some salsa + add remaining filling
  • Top with last 2 tortillas + some salsa + cheese
  • Cover + bake for an hour
  • Remove foil + cook another 10 minutes or until cheese is golden
  • Serve hot with more cilantro
  • Lay down on cheesy tortilla crust + wrap self in tortillas + nap