Mexican Lasagna

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An entire year of marriage.

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I’ve learned so much. I’d like to share some of my wisdom with you all.

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Those quirks your significant other said were cute while you were dating… Yeah he was lying. I have this thing where I smack. Not just gum, but like all of my food. It’s the worst when I’m having my morning bagel & smear. The cream cheese makes lots of noises when it gets stuck to my palate. My point is that the truth will come out. Eventually, he will look at you across the breakfast table & beg you to shut the hole in your face while you chew.

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Also, your home will never be tidy again. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you. It’s him. It’s because your husband has a lot of crap. & that crap has to share a space with your crap. Before you know it, there are just these corners where things like piles of shoes live. It’s infuriating. He won’t put away his things. He will, however, do the dishes & this is why we keep him. Hold on to this.

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At the end of the day, marriage hasn’t changed me that much. As long as he tells me I’m hot every day I’m golden.

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 8 tomatoes off the vine
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped + more for serving
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 8 corn tortillas
  • 2 sweet potatoes, peeled + diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 12 oz. of soyrizo, cooked
  • 1 cup of spicy cheese, shredded
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange tomatoes on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Broil for 10 minutes
  • Carefully remove blistered skin
  • Add jalapeno + cilantro + lime juice + 1/2 the onion to a food processor, pulse on low
  • Add tomatoes + Pulse until almost smooth
  • Turn oven heat down to 400 degrees
  • Add some salsa to the bottom of a baking dish
  • Lay 2 tortillas down
  • Top with some more salsa + 1/2the sweet potatoes + 1/2 of the remaining onion + 1/2 the black beans + 1/2 the soyrizo
  • Lay 4 tortillas down + spread some salsa + add remaining filling
  • Top with last 2 tortillas + some salsa + cheese
  • Cover + bake for an hour
  • Remove foil + cook another 10 minutes or until cheese is golden
  • Serve hot with more cilantro
  • Lay down on cheesy tortilla crust + wrap self in tortillas + nap

Zucchini Lasagna

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I love being right. I mean, I always am, but it just never gets old.

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Some have said I’m psychic. By some I mean myself & one of my grandfather’s, but STILL! It’s been said.

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I just have this uncanny ability to predict the future. Like, I dreamt about Mr. Rogers the night before he died. & I dreamt I was in the cast of Real World: Afghanistan & we found Osama Bin Laden & the NEXT DAY they found him. I can’t even make that up.

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I also have the ability to predict when Bachelor couples will break up. *clears throat* Please revisit this post to hear my initial thoughts on this duo. These two did, indeed, announce their break up yesterday. Yawn. Give me a challenge, people.

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So I guess all I really predict are deaths & breakups…. I’m stable, I swear.

 

 

Time: 1 hour 30 minutes | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 4 zucchini, sliced thin
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 5 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes + the juice
  • 4 cups of packed spinach leaves
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh basil, chopped
  • 12 oz. of ricotta cheese
  • 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese, grated
  • 1 egg
  • 1 cup of mozzarella cheese, shredded
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of water
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1/2 tsp. of italian seasoning
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook until soft, about 4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another 2 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + diced tomatoes + water + crushed red pepper + oregano + italian seasoning +S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add spinach + basil + S+P, let wilt + turn off heat
  • In a bowl, combine ricotta + parmesan + egg + S+P
  • In a baking dish, spread some spinach mix on the bottom
  • Cover in zucchini slices
  • Add ricotta mix
  • Cover with spinach mix
  • Repeat until all layers are gone
  • Top with mozzarella
  • Bake covered for 45 minutes + uncovered for 10-15 minutes
  • Serve hot & tell your friends it’s just green noodles

Lots of these on the ‘ole internet, but this one helped me!

http://www.primaverakitchen.com/spinach-and-zucchini-lasagna/

 

Vegetable Lasagna

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Ya’ll remember that David Powter song “Bad Day”? You have to. It was every tween & teenage girl’s MySpace song at some point in their dramatic youth.

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Since I can’t make it my MySpace song anymore (I wish I could, I just forgot the password around 2010), I just blasted it on repeat yesterday.

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Just a suckfest of a day. One of those where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed & no amount of black coffee can cure your resting bitch face.

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So I did the only thing that helps my mood – cooked a giant lasagna. My oh my this sucker was good. Very light (is that possible?) and very little cheese (compared to your mama’s lasagna).

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If you’re pissy like me, turn up the emo pop of the mid-2000’s & get to cooking.

Time: 1 hour 25 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 8 whole wheat lasagna noodles
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 1/2 cup of cauliflower, chopped
  • 1 cup of packed spinach
  • 1 cup of low fat ricotta cheese
  • 1 egg
  • 1 can of tomato sauce
  • 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese, grated
  • 1 cup of mozzarella cheese, shredded
  • 2 tbsp. of italian breadcrumbs
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of italian seasoning
  • 1/2 tsp. of oregano
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 425 degrees
  • Cook noodles according to package directions, set aside
  • Heat olive oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat
  • Add onion + garlic, cook until fragrant, about 4 minutes
  • Add peppers + cauliflower + crushed red pepper + italian seasoning + oregano + S+P, cook until veggies are tender, about 6 minutes
  • In a medium bowl, combine the ricotta + egg
  • Once combined, add the spinach + stir
  • In a greased baking dish, add a little bit of tomato sauce, just enough to barely cover it
  • Lay 4 noodles on the bottom of the dish
  • In an even layer, add half of the spinach mixture
  • Add half of the veggies
  • Add half of the parmesan cheese
  • Add some sauce
  • Lay another 4 noodles down and repeat layering process
  • Add the final 4 noodles and top with remaining sauce + mozzarella + breadcrumbs
  • Cover + cook for 40 minutes
  • Uncover + cook for another 10 or until golden & bubbly
  • Eat it all cause it’s all vegetables & they’re good for you