Vegan Scampi


The time has come to say goodbye to my beloved Washington.


It seems like just yesterday I was kicking and screaming the entire move to this place.


While I didn’t warm to WA as quickly as you might imagine given that I am so incredibly easy going and adaptable to different environments, I am now deeply in love.


I will miss literally everything about my adopted state. The sights, the smells, the unbelievably laid back people from whom I hoped to learn something from over the last several years…sigh. Most of all, I will miss the sunny, summer weekends spent gallivanting through the cities and partaking of delectable nibbles and libations. This place has taught me so much about the world in which I wish I lived 24/7 – food and drink. I’m, like, so uppity now I barely tolerate chain restaurants and non-local beverages… Barely being the key word as Chili’s is in the my top 10 favorite establishments in the country. I digress. The peeps at Pacific Rim share my love of Washington wines. Their Rieslings are just one example of all of that is good in this state. Though WA still has the gigantic fault line problem to figure out.


Not to worry Washington, I’ve made my husband pinky swear we can retire in a seaside mansion with a perfect view of the mountain.



Time: 1 hour (prep _ cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 package of whole grain linguine
  • 1 small head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 can of hearts of palm, drained + cut into lil rounds
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 2 tbsp. of vegan butter
  • 4 shallots, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cup of Pacific Rim dry riesling
  • 1/2 cup of vegetable stock
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Parsley, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, stirring once
  • Meanwhile, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil + 1 tbsp. of butter in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add hearts of palm rounds + S+P, cooking on each side for 2-3 minutes or until browned to your desire, remove from pan
  • Meanwhile, cook linguine to al dente
  • Meanwhile x2, heat remaining olive oil + butter in the skillet you cooked the hearts of palm
  • Add shallots + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add wine, cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Add veg stock + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes or until reduces a lil and flavors start to get all yummy – taste test to see if you likey, adjust seasoning
  •  Add lemon juice + a bit of your parsley, cook another minute
  • Now add linguine + coat to combine
  • Toss with cauliflower + hearts of palm, add a lil S+P and the rest of the lemon juice + parsley
  • Serve warm with a glass of cold wine
  • Allow me to be your spiritual pasta guide and follow my lead by eating all of this over the course of two dinners, finishing off with a scoop of peanut butter


Adapted from here!

Caesar Brussels Sprouts Salad


Get a load of how grown up I am.


Not only did I successfully host an impromptu dinner party this weekend, but I also did our taxes.


Not at the same time, I’m not a total masochist. However, I successfully did 1/2 of these things without shedding a single tear.


Dinner parties are ~kind of~ becoming my thing. They give me an excuse to wear my cute aprons and cook in heels, empowering me to the core. It’s also nice to eat on real dishes vs. the tupperware I’m accustomed. Now if we could just do away with the conversation portion of the evening, I’d really be in my element.

Taxes weren’t too bad either. Until I got to the end, convinced myself I typed a number in wrong 83 screens back, googled likelihood of jail time for incorrect tax return (mixed reviews), went back 83 screens & quadruple checked all of the numbers (typed correctly the first time), called my dad to hyperventilate, clicked “file,” put head in hands & prayed that the Lord be swift in determining my fate.


Would like to have you all over for a dinner party on April 15th.



Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4


  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, washed + ugly leaves removed
  • 1/4 cup of walnuts, toasted
  • Juice + zest of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/3 cup of raw almonds
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tsp. of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. capers
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Soak almonds in 1/3 cup of hot water for 15 minutes
  • Add almonds + soaked water + garlic + dijon mustard + rice vinegar + capers + olive oil + juice of 1/2 a lemon + S+P to a food processor and process until smooth + creamy
  • Meanwhile shred brussels sprouts using a cheese grater (yeah, I said it!) into a large bowl
  • Add toasted walnuts + crushed red pepper + plenty of S+P + lemon zest to sprouts + mix up
  • Drizzle dressing as desired
  • Serve chilled (salad doesn’t keep, but dressing does!)
  • Brag to all who will listen about the light salad you’ve eaten + how you are the picture of health + fitness


Dressing from Thug Kitchen!


Grilled Lemon + Broccolini Pizza


It’s a weird thing when you realize your parents are old.


Like, it really forces you to wrestle with your own mortality.


It hit me this week when I innocently asked my dad what he was doing and he responded with, “trolling neighborhood watch Facebook groups leaving fake concerns.”


The man is not yet 60, but he is obviously senile. He left a comment on this neighborhood watch site insinuating that renters are the root of the town’s problems. And I quote, “They’re trash. We don’t want ’em!” Insanity ensued obviously. The man got a big kick out of it. Thus sparking a new interest in the latest internet fad – trolling. He’s just truly embracing his reality as a crotchety old grandpa, yet in the modern era he’s able to do it from the comfort of his office chair in front of a computer screen while simultaneously playing Grand Theft Auto.


I suggest he take up walking or playing cards, but he prefers the mystique of his internet persona – I wonder where he gets it from?¿



Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza


  • 2 lemons, sliced
  • 1 bundle of broccolini, washed
  • 4 oz. of mozzarella cheese, sliced
  • 1/4 cup of goat cheese, crumbled
  • 1 pizza crust
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cooking spray for the grill

How to:

  • Heat yo grill up!
  • Spray your lemons + broccolini with some cooking spray
  • Arrange on the grill, but not directly over coals or on the hottest part of the grill
  • Grill lemons 2 minutes, flip + grill another 1, remove
  • Flip broccolini after 3 minutes, flip + grill another 2, remove
  • Arrange mozzarella on a pizza crust
  • Top with broccolini + lemon + goat cheese + S+P
  • Spray grill + lay pizza on grill, again not on the hottest part
  • Grill for 3 minutes or until cheese is slightly melted
  • Remove + top with crushed red pepper
  • Take each side of the pizza, fold into a boat + sink into your pie hole


Idea from the latest issue of Food + Wine magazine!