Lentil + Pineapple Salsa Tacos

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I said this time would be different.

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I wouldn’t fall into the same trap I end up in every few years.

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I’ve grown, I’ve changed, I’m strong.

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Then August 23rd came around and Taylor Swift dropped Lover and all my resolve went out the window. The album is killer, man. I was the first person to tell anyone I talked to about it that I felt like this would be her worst yet. I didn’t like the singles. I wasn’t feeling her ‘tude about the whole thing. I was OK with the idea of this being an off year for her. I listened to the whole thing once through and I was like dagnabit she done made me a liar! It’s so good. It gives me Red vibes which is unarguably her best album of all time and quite possibly won’t be topped. Even the singles I didn’t enjoy as they stood alone sound better when played with the rest of the songs. Why, oh why, is she so good at connecting with twenty-something upper middle class females?!?!?!

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Though I do need to have a talk with her about the v unnecessary Leo lyric in The Man.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 tacos + extra salsa

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of lentils
  • 1 pineapple, cut into cubes
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro
  • Juice of 1 lime + the zest
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • S+P, to taste
  • Warm tortillas, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine pineapple + red pepper + red onion + jalapeno + cilantro + olive oil + juice of 1/2 the lime+ S+P, mix well + refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Cook lentils according to package directions
  • Once lentils are just about cooked, mix in remaining lime juice + zest + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + onion powder + garlic powder + tomato paste + S+P, cook another 2-3 minutes until all liquid is absorbed
  • To serve, spread some lentils in a warm tortilla + top with salsa
  • Smear leftover lentils on face for a detoxifying mask + feed yourself chunks of pineapple

 

Adapted from here!

Stuffed Red Pepper Soup

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I consider myself very responsible.

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I’m organized, make to-do lists just to cross things off, am always on time, look both ways before crossing the road, etc. The pillars of responsibility!

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So at my pal’s bachelorette party this weekend, I obvio offered to be a designated driver.

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I didn’t have a car on this trip, so I drove my friend’s. I was also the keeper of one of our AirBNB keys. See, responsibility is my middle name! Everything went well. I didn’t crash my friend’s car and we all got to our destinations safely. I made sure the AirBNB was locked at all times even when we were inside for 5 minutes – I’m sorry, I trust no one. So a safe and lovely time was had by all. I’m in the airport Sunday sipping on a smoothie, reading my book. I’m really just living my best airport life when I get a text asking where I put my friend’s keys. I mentally retrace my steps. I parked and locked the car. I fished out the AirBNB key. We walked in the house. I set the AirBNB key down, but not the car keys. Where would I have put them???? ………..No, no, no, no, no! I open my purse and there they are, neatly placed in a side pocket where my own car keys usually go. The best part is I’m in Baltimore and 900 miles away from my friend and her car at this point. *Face palm*

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Big shouts to Andre at the BWI UPS for helping a girl out and making me feel a lot better by sharing he ships keys every day. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone in this idiotic world.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 red peppers, diced
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cup of red lentils, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of brown rice, uncooked
  • 3 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1 15 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 container of vegetable broth
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add red peppers, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add lentils + rice, coat to combine + toast for 2 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + crushed tomatoes + seasonings + S+P, cook another minutes
  • Add vegetable broth, bring to boil, lower heat + simmer for 30 minutes
  • Add spinach + adjust seasonings to taste
  • Serve warm with cilantro + avocado
  • Sit outside in the 100 degree summer weather with your hot bowl of soup + pretend you are at a spa in a really nice sauna allowing all the toxins to sweat out of your body

 

Adapted from here!

 

Broccoli + Grain Salad

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Reason 23,085 I’m not meant to live in the south: my daggum ‘do can’t take it.

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The combination of humidity and high winds does truly unspeakable things to my hair.

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We went to Charleston for the weekend and they were having tornado-like winds the whole time. Ya girl had her hair up IN A PONYTAIL. Tragic!!!!

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Apart from the hair debacle, we had a delightful time. We frolicked and explored and took in some sights and only a few folks did double takes at what the heck was atop my head (my messy bun frightens people). Charleston’s food scene is pretty dope and I ate like a right queen. Garr & I are high key obsessed with Netflix’s Chef’s Table and have been jonesing to visit one of the featured restaurants. We finally checked that off the bucket list this weekend and it was just superb. They made me a vegan entree without any hassles and it was basically just a bunch of side dishes but we all know that’s the best part of the meal anyways. G must have had a stroke or something when he placed his order because he chose snapper and he doesn’t like seafood?¿ It was swimming in a lil broth and it reminded him of a time he was camping and surviving off the land and he and his pals had the great idea to boil a fish they caught in a stew they were making and it turned gray and tasted like dirt. So, slightly different experiences.

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We ended the evening at a hot pink champagne & caviar bar & I decided then & there that I simply MUST have such a room in my next home.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of red lentils, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of quinoa, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of barley, uncooked
  • 2 heads of broccoli, washed + cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of almonds, toasted + chopped
  • 1/4 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 tbsp. of sugar
  • 1/4 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice + zest of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Add onions to a jar or bowl, top with apple cider vinegar + sugar + 1 tsp. of S + 1 cup of warm water, cover + refrigerate until you’re ready to serve
  • Cook grains according to package directions, drain + set aside
  • Arrange broccoli on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + lemon juice + zest + dijon + S+P
  • To serve, combine grains + broccoli + pickled red onions (minus their juice) + almonds + pomegranate seeds + dressing
  • Serve warm, room temp or chilled
  • Place self in a high chair + feed self with hands like lil doll baby you are