Vegan Sloppy Joes

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I did it. I’ve taken the plunge.

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I’ve done a swan dive into the deep blue sea that is finally binge watching Friends.

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Why has it taken me this long, you ask? Oh, I don’t know. I’m just not big on conforming.

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This isn’t true. I love rules and following order. 10 seasons of anything is just such a big commitment. Who has the time? Who can stand to see this exquisitely cast ensemble in timeless situations? Who wants to just be blissfully ignorant of the world’s turmoil for perfectly carved out 20 minute blocks of time? Well, everyone unless you are a space alien or someone with a really radical social life. It’s just such a darn good program, ya know? I always LOVED having the same name as Jennifer Aniston’s character. My dad used to tell me, “They gave the prettiest girl the prettiest name.” This gave me a complex for a long time, but man, did I love hearing it! And the CLOTHES! My mother dressed just like them in the 90s and I idolized her style. I wish it was still acceptable for women in their mid to late 20s to sport their bare midriff in any and every situation. How freeing.

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It’s nice watching on Netflix because every like 3 episodes it judges me and asks if I’m still watching.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of lentils, cooked
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 12 oz. can of tomato sauce
  • 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add green pepper, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add tomato sauce + paste + soy sauce + apple cider vinegar + chili powder + cumin + oregano + paprika + red pepper + S+P, bring to a lil boil, turn down heat + simmer for 7-8 minutes
  • Add beans + lentils, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve on toasted buns
  • Strap on your bib + pull that hair in your nastiest top knot + just smash your face in a large plate of this

 

 

Lentil Loaf

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I wish you all could be in my kitchen with me on blog meal making days.

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My husband would strongly advise against it, but I think it would really give you a glimpse at the real ~me~.

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It’s basically just a lot of organized chaos minus any semblance of organization.

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I’m such a neat and tidy person in all other areas of my life. But when the weekend rolls around and I step into my kitchen ready to do WORK, all rules fly out the window. First of all, I look reallllyyyyy cute while cooking. My best sweats are on, hair on top of my head, and I’ve found wiping food on my clothes vs. a rag or paper towel is highly efficient and better for the environment. Beyond that, there is food on every surface, cutting boards all over the place, pots & pans are bubbling and occasionally overflowing, and a perfect trail of crumbs will lead you from the kitchen to my photo station every daggum time. I’m a monster! There is no such thing as cleaning as you go in these circumstances. It’s all about survival. Garrett has literally had to start busying himself while I’m working on recipes. Like, leave the house. He cannot handle the leaning tower of dirty dishes I construct in record breaking times.

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Once it’s safe for Garrett to return home, I always tell him what I’ve made and without fail his response is, “OMG, that sounds disgusting, when can I put it in my mouth?”

 

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of dry lentils, rinsed
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 carrot, peeled + sliced thin
  • 2 celery sticks, sliced thin
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs
  • 1/2 cup of rolled oats
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1 tbsp. of BBQ sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh parsley
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of ranch seasoning
  • 1 tsp. of chipotle chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Ketchup

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Cook lentils according to package directions, drain
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add carrots + celery + red bell pepper + S+P, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • In a food processor, combine lentils + sauteed veggies + breadcrumbs + oats + tomato paste + BBQ sauce + soy sauce + parsley + crushed red pepper + cumin + oregano + ranch seasoning + chipotle chili powder, process until well combined
  • Spray a loaf pan with nonstick seasoning
  • Spread your lentil mix in an even layer in the loaf pan
  • Bake 40 minutes
  • Spread with some ketchup + bake for another 10 minutes
  • Serve hot w/ favie sides
  •  If feeling full of sorrow, feel empowered to drown them in as many helpings of lentil loaf it takes to feel happy + whole

 

Recipe adapted from here!

Lentil + Succotash Salad

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Do they have doggy therapy?

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Not asking for a friend, asking for me. Topanga is driving me absolutely bananas.

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She’s only 8 so I’m not sure I can’t say she’s totally senile yet. However, I have no other explanation for the utter chaos she’s causing around my home.

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This child will fill her mouth with lil kiblets, prance to a carpeted surface, i.e. living room rug, bedroom carpet, no fuzzy surface is off limits, and fling them out of her mouth, spreading her terror everywhere she goes. OK, maybe she wants to eat her dinner from different vantage points. Weird, but I’m not judging her. No. The child in question waits a couple of hours then comes back to the kiblets, picks one lucky lil guy, puts it back in her mouth & flings it across the room AGAIN & plays with it like it’s one of her babies. I can’t take it anymore.

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The best is that the kiblets blend in with the hardwood & I crunch at least one under my bare feet on the daily.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 4-6 cups of arugula
  • 1 cup of lentils, cooked
  • 1 1/2 cups of raw lima beans
  • 2 ears of corn, shucked
  • 1 cup of cherry heirloom tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 a red onion, mostly diced but leaving a couple lil thin slices to top the salads
  • 2 tbsp of garlic, minced
  • 1 cup of basil leaves, packed
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 1/2 tbsp. of white wine vinegar
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1 tsp. of honey
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a large pot, combine 3 cups of water with diced red onion + garlic + S+P + bring to a boil
  • Add lima beans, bring to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 20 minutes
  • Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine basil + olive oil + vinegar + lemon juice + honey + S+P, process until smooth, refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Once lima beans are cooked, drain + let cool
  • In a bowl, combine lima beans + corn + tomatoes + lentils + S+P, let sit for a few
  • To serve, arrange some arugula on a plate + top with lima bean mix + some red onion + your dressing
  • Put funnel in mouth + pour salad contents down the hole for efficiency

 

Idea from here!