Spaghetti Squash with Veggies + Tomato Sauce

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WHAT A WEEK AND A HALF, I TELL YOU!

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Your girl has been plumb RUNNING. Not like the exercising kind, though. Quite the opposite, in fact.

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My BFF came to visit for a few days. Then I went home to Memphis for a week. When these two things happen, I lose all self control and morph into the gluttonous creature God intended.

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For example, while out to dinner last Saturday before the Kacey Musgraves concert, I single handedly ate three baskets of chips with salsa. I really wish I was exaggerating. I was in actual pain the next day and resolved to never do that again. Then Monday rolls around and my daddy offers to take me to my favie Mexican restaurant in Memphis. What do I do? WORK on another two baskets of chips. Moral of this story: I LOVE CHIPS. & also I have this problem where I don’t stop eating when I’m full???? It’s not great. How does one just not overeat when there is tasty food in front of one? Like, as a rule, I don’t take home leftovers from restaurants. Not because I’m morally opposed, there are just literally 0 leftovers to take.

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Now I’m home and trying to detox but my stomach is stretched out so lotssss of peanut butter is happening.

 

Time: 1.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 spaghetti squash, halved + seeds scooped out
  • 1 bunch of asparagus, trimmed + halved
  • 1 carrot, peeled thin with a vegetable peeler
  • 1 zucchini, cut into tiny bits
  • 4 tomatoes off the vine, cut into chunks
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of basil, chiffonaded
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Toasted pumpkin seeds, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Drizzle spaghetti squash insides with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet, cut side down + stab with a fork a couple times
  • Roast for 40 minutes
  • Meanwhile, bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add asparagus + cook 3 minutes, pour into a colander + rinse with cold water
  • Chop roughly into tiny bits
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add zucchini + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add asparagus + carrot + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Remove veggies from the pan
  • Add tomatoes to a food processor + process until smooth
  • Heat remaining olive oil to the skillet over medium heat
  • Add garlic, cook 1 minute
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, bring to a boil, reduce heat + let simmer for about 20 minutes, if a lil thin, add some coconut milk
  • Add basil + crushed red pepper
  • To serve, place some spaghetti squash noodles in a bowl + top with veggies + sauce + pumpkin seeds
  • Gently mix up all of the goodness + use your fork to gingerly twirl the noodles like you’re in an Olive Garden commercial + slurp them down like you’re also at an Olive Garden

Cauli Rice Risotto with Fennel + Peas

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TELL ME some of you guys are following along with this slick crazy Instagram scavenger hunt engagement/wedding happening over the last few days.

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If not, allow me to fill you in with an abridged version.

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This Instagram influencer and her banker boyfriend are apparently getting engaged. Dude set up this wild scavenger hunt for her starting Tuesday and it’s literally still happening and she’s still not engaged or seen her beau. She went from NYC to the Hamptons to Miami and is now on her way to Paris. And she is posting every detail on her insta story and it’s gone viral Like, modern America, you gotta love it.

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I know this seems really exciting and thoughtful and romantic or something, but I have some questions. This gal has a 9-5 (supposedly), so is her boss really kewl with her just leaving work in the middle of a random Tuesday and not coming back for who only knows how long?? That must be one heck of a benefits package! Next, she doesn’t know where she’s going so doesn’t know what to pack. Literally one of my worst nightmares. I pack 12 outfits for one night because I can think of that many things that could go wrong, requiring backups. Additionally, she is on all of these planes and going, going, going, yet she shows absolutely no sign of travel bloat. I don’t buy it! Either she doesn’t eat or she is a specimen we need to lock up and study because the travel bloat is not something even the rich and famous can escape. Finally, this woman is getting showered with free gifts. Like, goodies are raining from the sky on her because of how big of a deal this is becoming. They are obvio already wealthy otherwise how is this happening in the first place, but now she’s getting free outfits and jewelry?! The cruel injustices of our social media-addicted world! Of which I am addicted.

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What happened to getting engaged on the porch of your boo’s house with your BFF stashed in a bush taking iPhone pix?? The good ‘ole days.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, grated into rice on a cheese grater
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, monced
  • 1/4 cup of dry white wine
  • 1/4 cup of vegetable broth
  • 6 tbsp. of walnuts
  • 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of vegan buter
  • 1 fennel bulb, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of frozen peas
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat one tbsp. of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add cauliflower, coat + cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add wine, cook another 2 minutes
  • Add broth, cook another 5 minutes or until absorbed by the cauli rice
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add fennel + S+P, cook 5-7 minutes
  • Meanwhile, pulse walnuts + nutritional yeast + some S+P in a food processor
  • Turn heat to low + add in walnut mix + butter + fennel + peas + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Eat 6 bowls of this back to back because it’s basically like eating air

 

Adapted from here!

Stuffed Avocado Tacos

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I am an ugly man.

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Like, as a man, I kind of just look like roadkill.

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Thanks to the new Snapchat filters, we can all discover what we look like as the opposite sex! Because that is a thing our society needs.

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All of my girlfriends are all, like, really good looking dudes. I mean, they’re all gorgeous women, but it’s just not fair they are hot guys too! I, on the otherhand, look like a “geeky frat boy who is trying too hard” according to one pal. Then, Garrett does the girl filter and he is like really pretty….. The filter gave him like feathered hair and perfectly manicured brows. It softened his smile and gave him these rosy cheeks. He was so proud of himself, too. At least 8 times, he chanted “I’m a pwetty giwl! I’m a pwetty giwl!” I just don’t think I can be friends with all of these stunning hermaphrodites. It’s not good for my ego.

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Honestly, I’m most upset Snapchat gave me a trash ‘stache.

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 4 avocados, pitted
  • 1 package of soyrizo
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 7-8 leaves of butter lettuce, chiffonaded
  • 4 tortillas, cut in lil strips
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange tortilla strips on a lined baking sheet in an even layer, bake 20 minutes, tossing once, being careful they don’t burn
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add 1/2 the onion + some S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add soyrizo, cook for 8-9 minutes or until soyrizo is crisp to your desire
  • To serve, sprinkle some soyrizo onto an avocado + top with some raw onion + tomatoes + lettuce + crunchy tortilla strips + cilantro
  • With hands tied behind back, dive face first into this sea of avocado taco boat goodness + go to town