Chickpea Dumplings

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I like being spoiled.

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Not just with lil treats and happies, but with my reality television show endings.

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I need spoilers to survive this cruel & unusual world.

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Specifically, I have to know The Bachelor/ette spoilers or I can hardly watch the show. I don’t want to be surprised, I don’t want a plot twist. I want to know what I’m getting into. This is why before every season I stalk the blogs until I discover the ending and every twist and turn leading up to it. I’m prepared, I’m ready. I am usually the go-to in my friend group for Bach news. (I have very little joy, leave me be.) For SOME reason I cannot comprehend, my sources don’t have the dirt this season. They speculate, but no one KNOWS how this season ends. It’s driving me absolutely bonkers. How am I just supposed to WATCH the show for the next four weeks and not know who he picks and will ultimately break up with in 3-4 months? Who do you think I am?

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In my next life, I hope I’m one of those kewl, enlightened girls who couldn’t be bothered with the trash fire that is reality television.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs
  • 4 cups of spinach, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil
  • 1/4 cup of coconut milk yogurt
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tbsp. of curry powder
  • 2 tsp. of ground coriander
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of ground mustard
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of tomato sauce
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a food processor, pulse chickpeas until broken down
  • In a bowl, combine chickpeas + breadcrumbs + 1/2 cup of spinach + 1/2 the oil + yogurt + jalapeno + S+P
  • Shape into lil dumplings + arrange on a parchment paper lined baking sheet
  • Refrigerate while you work on the rest
  • Heat remaining olive oil in a deep skillet over medium heat
  • Add ginger + curry powder + coriander + cumin + mustard, cook about a minute, stirring constantly
  • Add tomatoes + tomato sauce, bring to a simmer
  • Add remaining spinach + S+P, cook 1-2 minutes
  • Nestle dumplings into the skillet, cover + cook for 20 minutes, turning dumplings a couple of times
  • Praise the good Lord above for giving you a warm bowl of grub to devour + dig in, hunny

 

Adapted from here!

Black Bean + Soyrizo Meatball Tacos

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3 years of marriage. Be honest, where has the time gone?!?!?!!

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Just yesterday, wasn’t I watching episodes of Arthur and purchasing my underwear based on the cartoon characters featured?!

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Don’t answer that.

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In my 3 years of being wifed up, I have gained invaluable life lessons. Like, always stock extra toilet paper in the house. Cuddling on the couch while he scrolls memes and I look at food pix can actually be intimate. He would just as easily live out of the clothes hamper, but does appreciate when I fold his underpants for him – it’s the little things. Preparing his lunch for the next day is therapeutic and reminds me I eat too many carbs. Compromise is essential – I get 1 hour of Food Network and he gets 1 hour of the Military channel, and we pretend to show interest in the other’s TV time.

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We’d totally win an episode of The Newlywed Game.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 20-24 meatballs / 10-12 tacos

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 package of soyrizo, browned
  • 1/2 an onion, diced
  • 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped + more for serving
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of vegan butter
  • Corn tortillas, for serving
  • Red cabbage, for serving
  • Pico, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Sriracha, for serving
  • S+P, to taste

 

How to:

  • In a bowl, mash black beans
  • Mix onion + breadcrumbs + cilantro + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + S+P, combine well
  • Stir in browned soyrizo + combine well
  • Heat butter + 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Form mixture into balls + place in hot skillet, cook each ball for 3-4 minutes, tossing to brown on each side. If needed, add remaining oil to your skillet
  • To serve, place 2 meatballs on a corn tortilla + top with cabbage + pico + avocado + sriracha + more cilantro
  • Go ahead and put Meatball Tacos Anonymous on speed dial now, cause you bout to be addicted

Vegan Sweet + Sour Meatballs

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There are some days I just can’t adult.

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The weight of adulthood is just too much to bear sometimes. Bills, meetings, laundry, showering. It’s just TOO much.

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I need insight from seasoned adults here. How do you do it?? How do you get up everyday & be a human being? How many mental breakdowns are socially acceptable from year to year????

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Yesterday I woke up & just couldn’t adult. I’d been feeling sick for over a week & finally drove myself into a fever. So I rewarded myself by not being a human for a day. I was more like a dog. I curled up in fuzzy blankets & drooled on myself while binge-watching Grey’s all day. I really got a peek into Topanga’s day to day life. Man is she living.

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Wish me luck as I attempt yet another day as an adult human being.

 

 

 

Time: 50 miuntes (prep + cooking) | Serves: About 24 meatballs

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 cup of pineapple juice
  • 1/2 cup of coconut milk
  • 1 tbsp. of ketchup
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 3 tbsp. of vinegar
  • 3 tbsp. of cornstarch
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • Plenty of S+P

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 4-5 minutes
  • Add onion + black beans + chickpeas + S+P to a food processor + combine until smooth but not liquidy
  • Stir is quinoa + crushed red pepper + S+P
  • Form into balls + arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Bake 25 minutes
  • Meanwhile, in a sauce pan, combine pineapple juice + coconut milk + ketchup + soy sauce + vinegar + cornstarch + brown sugar + bring to a boil
  • Reduce heat + let simmer until it thickens
  • Drizzle sauce over cooked meatballs + serve hot
  • Pour leftover sweet + sour sauce on body

Idea came from here!

http://www.thestayathomechef.com/2015/09/vegan-sweet-and-sour-meatballs.html