Butternut Noodle Bowls

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How many pairs of eyewear will I purchase online before I realize it’s a very bad idea?

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3 dozen? 100? Does the limit really not exist?

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I legit get a new pair every 8 months because I can no longer stand the sight of myself in the giant goggles I choose.

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I always order from the same site and they are chock full of the latest fashions and v stylish options. I’m hip, I’m trendy, I can wear those ginormous oblong frames, right? Wrong. They even offer free at-home try-ons so you’re not stuck with something that looks horrendous. Do I utilize this convenient service? No, never. I always think this time is going to be different. This pair will perfectly my fit equal parts long face and chubby cheeks. A new pair arrived yesterday. These are much smaller than my old pairs, neatly round, no crazy shape, and pink. Pink! I have found the perfect pair! I sent a selfie to my father who immediately told me I look more and more like a grandmother everyday.

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The BEST part of new glasses is the first couple of days where they haven’t stretched to my face & they are squeezing my head so hard they leave stellar bruises.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 butternut squash, spiralized
  • 1 red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, sliced thin
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 zucchini, sliced into thin ribbons
  • 1/2 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange cauliflower on a lined baking sheet with a drizzle of 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 5 minutes
  • Toss the raw butternut squash noodles + raw zucchini + mushroom + onion mix + cauliflower in a large bowl with remaining olive oil + lemon juice + pomegranate seeds + S+P
  • Refrigerate for a bit + serve chilled or room temp
  • Enjoy slurping the entirety of this guilt free meal + doing a lil happy jig around your party pad in celebration

Miso Veggie Noodles

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Why must I be so incredibly thoughtful?

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It’s really throwing a giant wrench smackdab in the middle of my bank account.

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It’s been my new year’s resolution every year since I can remember that I’m going to be more thoughtful. No longer will I yell “My presence is your present!” at my family when it’s my turn to pass out Christmas gifts.

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So this Christmas, I’ve done something I’ve never done before – purchased real gifts! Not just grab a bottle of wine on the way to the party or craft a last minute coupon book like a 7-year-old, I actually, like, went to stores and perused shelves for things I thought my humans might enjoy. There’s a lot of stuff out there when you aren’t totally self-centered and a major cheap-o! Soon, though, it became an addiction. If I left a store empty handed, I would curse the proprietor for not having equal parts useful and humorous gift options at a sensible price. I felt so defeated the other day after not checking everything off my list, I pouted and cried the rest of the evening.

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I’ve really mastered the “reason for the season” thing.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 2 zucchini, spiralized
  • 2 beets, peeled + spiralized or shredded
  • 1 cup of matchstick carrots or 2 carrots, peeled + shreeded
  • 1 cup of snap peas
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of sesame miso
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh ginger, minced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 2 tsp. of toasted sesame oil
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine half of the miso + half the ginger + juice of 1/2 the lime + half the soy sauce + half the rice vinegar + half the toasted sesame oil + 1/4 cup of the olive oil, whisk well
  • Add tempeh to the dressing + coat, marinate 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, mix up the other half of the dressing ingredients, set aside
  • On a lined baking sheet, spread chickpeas into an even layer
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, bake 20-25 minutes, tossing once in the middle of cooking
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add marinated tempeh, cook for 6-8 minutes, browning on all sides
  • Remove from pan + add snap peas, cook 3-4 minutes, remove
  • To serve, combine all veggie noodles in a bowl with tempeh + chickpeas + snap peas + cilantro + toss with dressing
  • Crunch + slurp on your noodles while simultaneously rocking around your Christmas tree

 

Dressing adapted from here!

Spicy Dan Dan Noodles

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Actual Google search of mine: is it possible to fall ill from too much socializing?

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I’m at my home base for a bit before the move to NC.

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I almost need an assistant to keep up with my social calendar. Packed, I tell you!

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I’m not complaining, I love bee bopping around with my pals. I’m just simply unsure if my homebody brain can handle all of these interactions. It’s like sensory overload. *Humans, everywhere, cannot compute* Brain and I are used to quiet evenings studying food and trying to complete our 1 novel a week challenge. Now I’m out on school nights until 10:00 pm like a daggum LA socialite! It’s catching up to me, though. I’m developing an itchy throat and utter fatigue.

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Brain and I are ready to get to NC where we know 0 living creatures and can rot in peace.

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of rice noodles
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • 4 green onion + more for serving, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of fresh ginger, minced
  • 1 jalapeno, sliced thin
  • 4 cups of packed spinach leaves
  • 1/2 English cucumber, sliced thin
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of toasted sesame oil
  • 2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • P, to taste

How to:

  • Cook noodles to package directions, reserve a cup of the cooking liquid, drain noods
  • Meanwhile, toast walnuts in a dry skillet over low-medium heat for 3-4 minutes
  • In a food processor, combine walnuts + ginger + jalapeno + garlic + crushed red pepper, pulse to combine
  • Now add soy sauce + rice vinegar + sesame oil + a splash of water, combine until smooth + add some pepper to it
  • Add oil to pot you cooked the noodles in + heat over medium
  • Add green onion, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add sauce you made, cook another minute
  • Add spinach, noodles + reserved cooking liquid, tossing to coat
  • Turn off heat, squeeze in lime juice + add cucumber
  • Serve warm
  • Slurp the dang heck out of these bad boys and annoy your table mates

 

Recipe from here!