Avocado Pesto Pasta

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Today is probably the biggest day of my life.

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My child turns 10. Double DIGITS!!!!!!

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Topanga wants you all to know, though, she’s a youthful 10 and plans to live another decade.

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We’re OBVIOUSLY throwing her a birthday pawty (see what I did there) this weekend. Complete with a new pink, sequined dress and party hat. We also ordered rose gold party decorations – very classy. Today I ordered some pup cakes – topped with peanut butter & cream cheese frosting & rainbow sprinkles. You could say I’m the best mother in the entire world. Oh, and we invited no other dogs, so she could be the star, of course. She has, however, requested everyone out by 9pm sharp so she can get her full 8 hours of beauty sleep. She’s very regimented in her old age.

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Don’t let me forget to brush her teeth before the party, her rotting old lady teeth reek.

 

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 a ripe avocado
  • 1 cup of fresh basil leaves
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of pine nuts, + more for serving
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 1 package of whole wheat pasta
  • 1 broccoli crown, cut in florets
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • In a food processor, combine avocado + basil + garlic + pine nuts + lemon juice + nutritional yeast + S+P
  • Pulse + drizzle in 1 tbsp. of olive oil + a lil water if needed to thin out the pesto
  • Refrigerate until ready to use
  • Meanwhile, arrange broccoli on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + S+P
  • Roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, drain + add back to the pot with the heat off
  • Stir in pesto + broccoli + more S+P, if needed
  • Serve warm with more pine nuts
  • Play a fun game where you can see how many noodles you can fit on a fork + subsequently your mouth

 

Pesto adapted from here!

Charred Veggie Ragu

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I’ve met someone.

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It’s serious, we’re very committed. I can’t imagine ever saying goodbye.

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To our cleaning woman.

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That’s not even a good enough title for her. Cleaning queen? Her majesty? Master of my heart and soul? I don’t even know, but I love her with my entire being. Used to, I would spend our entire Sundays cleaning the house. We could never really do anything on Sundays because it was always church, clean, nap, fold laundry. That was the rhythm. We sound fun, right? Well, after months of Garr begging to hire someone, claiming he refuses to scrub one more toilet (first world problems), I caved. And I will never look back. She came for the first time last week and FIRST THING SHE SAID was, “Do you have a ladder? I want to clean all of these ceiling fans. If not, I have one in the car.” *SWOON* I went to get some tea, so I was out of her way. I came back and she was on top of the kitchen counters cleaning above the cabinets. I proposed to her right then and there.

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Next, I plan to invest in a Honey I Shrunk the Kids device so I can shrink her and keep her in my pocket.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, quartered
  • 5-6 portobello mushrooms, quartered
  • 2 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 2 carrots or 8 baby ones, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1/2 cup of red wine
  • 1 package of papparedelle
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange onion + portobello + carrots + celery on a  parchment paper lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, tossing once
  • Once cooled, process in food processor until a paste-like consistency + a lil chunky
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cremini mushrooms, cook 6-8 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + red wine, cook, stirring constantly for a minute
  • Add veggie paste + red pepper + S+P, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, reserving 1 1/2 cups of cooking liquid
  • Add noodles straight to the ragu pan + 1/2 cup of liquid, tossing + cooking for a minute
  • Add another 1/2 cup, tossing until sauce starts to thin
  • Add another 1/2 cup if necessary to thin the sauce
  • Add some S+P + red pepper if desired
  • Serve warm

 

 

Adapted from here!

 

 

Pasta Fagioli

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I am not one to time my food posts with whatever made up national holiday it is like some of the *kewl* bloggers do.

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UNTIL TODAY, SUCKERS!!!! Take that, better bloggers!!!

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I mean, it was a complete accident, but apparently today is National Pasta Day.

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Like all of these fake holidays, I feel like the same ones come around 8 times a year. I’m not complaining. I try to celebrate things like tacos, cookies and pizza on the daily. I appreciate these excuses. But who started this? Like, who was the guy that was eating a nice seafood bisque one crisp autumn night and was like “Wow, yes, from now until the end of the time we, as a country, should celebrate seafood bisque on this day annually.” Seafood bisque day is 10/19, by the way. I was trying to think of what day I would create and immediately thought of the unsung hero of everyone’s favorite dish and also just the best vegetable there is – the onion. I Googled and SOMEONE ALREADY THOUGHT OF THIS, OF COURSE. At least my baby boos (onions) are getting their moment in the sun on June 27 of each year.

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Bless, there is even a day for the rutabaga, like when will this madness stop.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of pasta
  • 1 can of chickpeas
  • 1 can of cannellini beans
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 3 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 3 carrots, peeled + chopped
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic
  • 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 container of vegetable broth
  • 1/4 cup of fresh basil, chiffonaded
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of italian seasoning
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Add oil to whatever brand of quick pressure cooker you have + set to saute
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add celery + carrot + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add in pasta + tomatoes + vegetable broth + beans + red pepper + italian seasoning + S+P
  • Close the lid + pressure cook on high for 4 minutes, let the steam release naturally for 5 minutes, then flip the lil switch + let the rest of the steam release
  • Stir in basil + more S+P to your tastes
  • Serve warm
  • To cook on the stovetop, just saute your veg in a skillet over medium heat, add all ingredients except pasta from the pasta step (boil your pasta separately) + cook for like 20 minutes, then add pasta + basil + serve!
  • Contort body into shape of favorite noodle + have sweetie gently pour pasta fagioli around your body + become one with the dish

 

Adapted from here!