Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bites

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My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.

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Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.

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Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!

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I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.

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I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.

 

 

Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of packed dates
  • 1 cup of raw walnuts
  • 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/3 cup of coconut oil
  • 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
  • 1/2 cup of agave
  • 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
  • Flaky sea salt, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
  • Add walnuts + process into a meal
  • To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
  • Place in freezer while you work on the filling
  • Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
  • Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
  • Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
  • Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
  • To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
  • In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here

 

Adapted from here!

Peanut Butter + Pretzel Crepes

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So how can the government just be, like, ~shut down~?

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Don’t we elect these officials to govern?

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Isn’t that a little hard to do when the elected officials shut down the government…?

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Perhaps I’m simplifying things. I don’t know anything about politics. I don’t believe in them, as a rule. I just wonder what our representatives are doing up there in DC this last, I don’t know, month or so? I imagine them roping off little sections of the Capitol for various game stations. There’s obviously a poker table with a professional dealer and  those little see through poker visors. Then there are your classics – Monopoly, Scrabble, Operation, etc. For those inclined to keep the mind agile during the shutdown, there are puzzles and crosswords, too. For our more active ladies and gents, there’s a couple of Twister mats and Bop-Its. They’ve gotta pass the time somehow.

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Honestly, I wonder if they could use some of the funds they’re saving not paying federal employees and pay to live stream this thing.

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 3 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. of baking powder
  • 2 cups of flax milk
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 6 tbsp. of peanut butter
  • 1 cup of pretzels, crumbled
  • 1 pint of raspberries, rinsed
  • 1 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp. of pure cane sugar

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine flour + brown sugar + baking powder + milk + extract + olive oil, mix well
  • Heat a large skillet sprayed with nonstick oil over medium heat
  • Meanwhile, combine raspberries + lemon juice + sugar + 2 tbsp. of water in a sauce pan, bring to a boil, reduce + simmer for a few minutes, remove from heat
  • Strain raspberry sauce if you don’t want seeds, but it won’t be as thick that way
  • Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup of batter at a time, spreading it in a thin, layer all around the bottom of the pan, cook 2-3 minutes, flip + cook another 2 minutes, remove + repeat with batter
  • To serve, spread 1 tbsp. of peanut butter on one half of the crepe + top with a handful of pretzel crumbles + top with a lil raspberry drizzle, roll up + top with more raspberry drizzle, serve warm, room temp or cold
  • Grab a couple of these handheld babies + do the hokey pokey all around the kitchen

 

Crepe batter from here!

Grilled PB + Banana + Tempeh Bacon Sammies

 

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Sometimes I surprise myself.

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By how little I know about things I should have been taught in middle school.

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Exhibit A: Garr and I were watching Planet Earth last night. All sorts of animals were doing all sorts of things. About 18 times, I thought to myself, “Didn’t know penguins did that” or “Wow, who knew goats could do that?” Garr’s favorite was when I made the mistake of thinking out loud, “Huh, I didn’t know bears hung out in snow-covered mountains.”

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Then, today’s top news story is the plummeting stock market. I’m listening and I’m like, yes, yes, I’m following. Down = bad; up = good. Simple enough. Then, they start really diving into it… Percentages, points, men in ill-fitting suits running around with little notepads. I find myself thinking, “Do I even know what the stock market really is……….???”

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I have other valuable knowledge, though, like TV, some books and vegan foods.

 

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4 sammies

Ingredients:

  • 12 slices of ezekiel bread
  • 1 1/2 cups of natural PB
  • 1 banana, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of raspberry preserves
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • Vegan butter, for grilling sammies

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a dish + pour marinade over, let them sit for 20 minutes
  • Heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a single layer, cook for 2-3 minutes, flip + cook another 2 minutes, remove + put on a plate
  • To build sammies, spread some softened vegan butter on two slices of bread
  • On the unbuttered sides, spread some preserves + on one slice of bread + some PB on another, top PB slice with banana + bacon, put the two together, repeat with remaining sammies
  • Heat some butter in a skillet over low-medium heat, grill sammies for 3-4 minutes on each side
  • Serve warm
  • Put on gloves before handling because the ooey gooey goodness of this melty PB is gonna get all over you

 

Bacon from here!

https://simpleveganblog.com/tempeh-bacon/