Cauliflower + Pineapple Quesadillas

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I think Garrett may leave me.

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Things are getting tense.

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Garrett’s job is a little more flexible than mine, meaning he has a little more time during this quarantine than I do.

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Meaning, I MIGHT be asking him to do my usual chores for me. Sue me! At first, he offered to pitch in a little more. Then, I saw how good he was at household tasks and started making lil honey-do lists for him. He pouted and procrastinated, but eventually everything got done. Ya girl has somehow not folded laundry or scrubbed a dish this entire quarantine. Little blessings everywhere! But I feel like I’m starting to get too spoiled. Like, I might be acting like an ungrateful brat which is really off brand for me. I noticed it when I was working on a project today and without even batting an eye asked Garrett to refill my water and take out the trash immediately because the stench was annoying me.

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Self-isolating with me is fun!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5 quesadillas

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1/2 a pineapple, cut into cubes
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained + smashed
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 chipotle peppers in adobo
  • 2 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 5-6 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • 8-10 whole wheat flour tortillas
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine garlic + chipotle peppers + chili powder + smoked paprika + apple cider vinegar + 1/2 of the pineapple chunks +1/2 the lime juice, blend until smooth
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add cauliflower, cook another 12-15 minutes or until tender
  • Add remaining pineapple, cook for a minute
  • Lower heat, add sauce you made, cook for 10 minutes or until all of the stuff is coated nicely in your sauce
  • Meanwhile add 1/2 the lime juice to your bean smash + mix
  • Remove from pan + wipe clean
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in the skillet over medium
  • To assemble quesadilla, spread some bean smash on two tortillas + top one with cauliflower mix + cilantro + smush together with other bean mix tortilla
  • Slide into skillet + cook for 3-4 minutes on both sides, flipping carefully!
  • Repeat with extra oil in the pan if necessary
  • Serve warm with more cilantro
  • Stand up at your kitchen counter with your leg in a tree pose + just go to town on these bad boys

 

Adapted from here!

Lentil + Pineapple Salsa Tacos

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I said this time would be different.

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I wouldn’t fall into the same trap I end up in every few years.

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I’ve grown, I’ve changed, I’m strong.

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Then August 23rd came around and Taylor Swift dropped Lover and all my resolve went out the window. The album is killer, man. I was the first person to tell anyone I talked to about it that I felt like this would be her worst yet. I didn’t like the singles. I wasn’t feeling her ‘tude about the whole thing. I was OK with the idea of this being an off year for her. I listened to the whole thing once through and I was like dagnabit she done made me a liar! It’s so good. It gives me Red vibes which is unarguably her best album of all time and quite possibly won’t be topped. Even the singles I didn’t enjoy as they stood alone sound better when played with the rest of the songs. Why, oh why, is she so good at connecting with twenty-something upper middle class females?!?!?!

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Though I do need to have a talk with her about the v unnecessary Leo lyric in The Man.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 tacos + extra salsa

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of lentils
  • 1 pineapple, cut into cubes
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro
  • Juice of 1 lime + the zest
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • S+P, to taste
  • Warm tortillas, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine pineapple + red pepper + red onion + jalapeno + cilantro + olive oil + juice of 1/2 the lime+ S+P, mix well + refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Cook lentils according to package directions
  • Once lentils are just about cooked, mix in remaining lime juice + zest + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + onion powder + garlic powder + tomato paste + S+P, cook another 2-3 minutes until all liquid is absorbed
  • To serve, spread some lentils in a warm tortilla + top with salsa
  • Smear leftover lentils on face for a detoxifying mask + feed yourself chunks of pineapple

 

Adapted from here!

Grilled Pineapple Burrito Bowls

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Conflabit, I love a good comeback.

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I am SO here for all of these TV reboots and sequels and adaptations and anything else that gives my eyeballs or earholes fresh content.

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Bring it all back! Jennifer Aniston was on Ellen the other day and she said she’s down for a Friends reboot. CAN YOU IMAGINE?!

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But the comeback I am most unashamedly excited for is none other than….drumroll, please…..The Jonas Brothers. This new album literally ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF. I have not stopped playing it since Friday and the end is nowhere in sight. I wish I could explain what these three brothers meant to me in 2008. I will sum it up by sharing I did have a Joe Jonas fitted tee that I wore under my clothes occasionally. I’ve just always loved them unconditionally. Their music resonated deeply with my naive soul. Plus, they were in Camp Rock which is only one of the top 8 greatest Disney Channel films of all time – supremely underrated and better than the more popular High School Music. Controversial opinion, I know, but I STAND BY IT. I’m just so happy the boys are back together. I really think this is what our country needs right now to bring peace and unity to our communities.

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Also, Garrett is out having divorce papers drafted because he claims he’d rather be alone than listen to the JoBros for one more second. Weird.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 2 red bell peppers, diced
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 pineapple, sliced in 1/2 inch thick rounds
  • 2 ears of corn
  • 6 corn tortillas, cut in lil strips
  • 2 cups of brown rice, cooked
  • 1 avocado, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Heat oven to 350 degrees
  • Arrange tortilla strips on a lined baking sheet + bake for 10 minutes, tossing once in the middle
  • Remove + sprinkle with + S+P, set to the side
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add jalapeno + red peppers + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add beans + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + S+P, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • Meanwhile, heat a grill or grill pan over medium heat + spray with oil
  • Grill pineapple on each side for about 2-3 minutes or until you have nice lil char marks
  • Grill corn for about 20 minutes, flipping on each side every 5 minutes or so
  • Once cooled, cut pineapple in chunks + shuck the corn
  • To serve, combine rice + black bean mix + pineapple + corn + avocado + tortilla strips + cilantro
  • Mix up all your bowl ingredients + dump into large trough, eat from it whilst on hands + knees like the animal you are