Black Bean + Plantain Polenta Stacks

fullsizeoutput_1049

Moments ago, I learned something incredibly disturbing.

fullsizeoutput_106d

I warn you, this is going to be graphic.

fullsizeoutput_1078

There are apparently people in America who only eat meat.

fullsizeoutput_1074

I mean, ONLY eat meat. BY CHOICE! Not lack of resources. No fruits, no veggies, no grains. Just……meat. Can you imagine what their insides look like?!?! I imagine everything just covered in tar. Their poor guts and heart! Some of them even use skin and body care products made of…..meat. Like beef moisturizers. Have you ever heard of anything more grotesque???? I know this sounds like I’m judging these folks. I don’t mean to, I’m just genuinely shocked. They rub beef on themselves!!!! Maybe there’s something to it, I don’t know. I just want to stick with my Cetaphil face wash, OK?

fullsizeoutput_104b

Wait, do people say the same things about me since I DON’T eat meat??!!?!

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cylindrical package of polenta, sliced into thin rounds
  • 2 ripe plantains, peeled + chopped into 1/2 inch thick rounds
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 lime
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • Jalapeno, sliced thin, for serving
  • Red cabbage, sliced thin, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cover + cook 8-10 minutes, stirring occasionally until caramelized
  • Remove from the pan + set aside
  • Heat another tbsp. of olive oil to the pan + place half of your polenta rounds, cook 3-4 minutes on each side until crisp, cook remaining polenta using another tbsp. of olive oil if needed
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of oil in another large skillet over medium heat + place half of your plantains, cooking 2-3 minutes on each side or until caramelized to your desire, cook remaining plantains using another tbsp. of olive oil
  • Meanwhile, heat black beans in a pot over medium heat
  • Add cumin + chili powder + half the lime juice + S+P, cook 5-7 minutes
  • To assemble, place some polenta on a plate + top with beans + onion + plantains + some jalapeno + cabbage + cilantro + serve with a sauce of your choosing
  • Eating these lil mini stacks, pretend like you’re a dainty + delicate flower and not the greedy lil food monster you are

Sweet + Spicy Brussels Sprouts Tacos

fullsizeoutput_66d

I just feel really seen.

fullsizeoutput_65a

Like, the people I surround myself with really just get me and accept me for who I am.

fullsizeoutput_65d

As confirmed at my BFF Christmas party during our traditional round of Secret Santa when I opened the most Rachel gift I ever could have dreamed of.

fullsizeoutput_665

A hot pink karaoke microphone. Bazinga! Now that’s a thoughtful gift, I tell you. I’m not sure how I made it 27 years without one already. It’s just so daggum handy. We were watching music videos all evening and I was able to sing into my new microphone at a higher volume than my peers thereby drowning out their voices and letting me hear myself better. It obviously has bluetooth so I can play music through it and sing along to my favorite artists or, as intended, to instrumental versions of hits so I can really shine. For some reason, I don’t sound as good on Rehab when dueting with Amy Winehouse. It was also really useful on Christmas Eve when my family played this game where you had to say stupid phrases in equally stupid accents. The echo effect on the mic proved most helpful.

fullsizeoutput_67d

If your Christmas was half as pleasant as mine, you, my friend, are a lucky lil kitten.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, ends trimmed + brussels halved
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1/2 small red cabbage, sliced thin
  • 1 can of vegan refried beans
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Tortillas, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + hot sauce + some S+P
  • Roast 15 minutes, remove + drizzle with agave, roast another 10-15 until crisp to your desire, remove
  • Meanwhile, heat beans in a lil pot
  • To serve, spread a couple of warm tortillas with some refried beans + fill with brussels sprouts + red onion + cabbage + top with cilantro + avocado + drizzle with lime juice
  • Form taco boat with hand + sail these bad boys straight into hole in your face