Quinoa + White Bean Puttanesca

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A thing I thoroughly enjoy is going to the movies.

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I really only do it like once in a blue moon.

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For one, it’s like $173 to catch a flick. For two, my husband hates going to the movies because it requires his full attention and complete stillness for two hours.

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My dad knows this truth and uses it to his dark advantages. Using voodoo magic and witchcraft, he convinces me to go see John Wick 3 with him while I was home last week. Obviously this is not a storyline I’m remotely interested in, but I wanted the movie-going experience and the fellowship with my father. Seeing as the last two movies I’ve seen have been in local, nonprofit theaters, I was overwhelmed upon entering a real multiplex. The sights, the smells. It’s truly thrilling! Although we’d just consumed our weight in chips and salsa, pops insists on a cola and popcorn. I’m appalled at his appetite. I’m all, “How can you eat anything else?!” He’s all, “Oh, please. It’s a part of the experience! What would you like?” I’m like, “Eww I don’t want anything…..but if I did, I’d want some chocolate.” He steps up to the counter and orders a triple play – popcorn, soda and a candy. He turns to me and says it’s my job to choose the candy. I panic! The choices are practically endless. Nothing is vegan. The line behind me is growing. I scream, “BUNCHA CRUNCH!!!” I’ve never seen my dad more disappointed in me in my entire life.

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Of course, I ate all of the nasty candy mixed with bites of popcorn (gotta have that salty & sweet bite, ya know) and I almost walked out of John Wick after he gouged a man’s eye out in the first 10 minutes.

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of roasted red peppers, chopped
  • 1 pint of grape tomatoes, halved
  • 1 cup of spinach, packed
  • 2 tbsp. of capers, drained
  • 1/2 cup of basil, chiffonaded
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add the beans, cook for 5 minutes
  • Add the diced tomatoes, bring to a simmer, reduce heat back to medium
  • Stir in peppers + tomatoes + capers, simmer another 5 minutes
  • Add spinach + basil + crushed red pepper + S+P, simmer 2 more minutes
  • Turn off heat + stir in cooked quinoa
  • Serve warm (or chilled – tastes great the next day)
  • Using a spoon as your slingshot, fling some of this food into your sweetie’s mouth + have him/her return the favor until you’re both fat + happy + covered in food

 

 

Adapted from here!

Chopped Greek Salad

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Apparently, I have what some like to call Rolls Royce taste on a Honda budget.

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We’re shopping for our first home.

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And we could just get a lot more house for the money if our budget was like $800,000.

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Honestly, Garrett is the problem. He’s wildly against a fixer upper because he doesn’t want to spend his time making improvements. I’m really down for whatever. As long as there are at least 2.5 baths, floor to ceiling windows with lots of natural light and a giant kitchen with white marble countertops and white cabinets, I’m set. I’m simple, really. I don’t mind having to make a couple of updates to get our dream home. But I can’t even online search with Garr anymore. If we look at a house and the curtains are ugly, he’s like nope, no, can’t, exit out of this page, I’m out. He can’t look past the poor decorating choices and see the good bones of a place. We saw one and he was like ugh NO I’d have to rip off that wall paper. The audacity! He thinks we just need to buy a new build. I was like OK great, that sounds really nice, why don’t you just loosen the grip on your pocketbook, good sir.

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How easy is it to buy a house behind your husband’s back? Asking for a friend.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of romaine, washed + shredded
  • 1 english cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives
  • 1/4 cup of banana peppers
  • 1/4 cup of roasted red peppers
  • 1/2 cup of quinoa, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil
  • 1/3 cup of red wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of lemon juice
  • 2 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • Pinch of sugar
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Cook quinoa according to package directions, set aside
  • In a bowl, whisk olive oil + red wine vinegar + lemon juice + oregano + garlic powder + onion powder + sugar + S+P, refrigerate until ready to use
  • In a big bowl combine lettuce + cucumber + onion + tomatoes + kalamata olives + peppers
  • Pour onto a big cutting board
  • Using a ulu knife, chop up the salad to your desire
  • Add back to bowl + add quinoa + mix in dressing
  • Serve chilled
  • Using a spatula, shovel salad contents into mouth until they are all gone and you have eaten your daily calories in salad

Broccoli + Grain Salad

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Reason 23,085 I’m not meant to live in the south: my daggum ‘do can’t take it.

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The combination of humidity and high winds does truly unspeakable things to my hair.

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We went to Charleston for the weekend and they were having tornado-like winds the whole time. Ya girl had her hair up IN A PONYTAIL. Tragic!!!!

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Apart from the hair debacle, we had a delightful time. We frolicked and explored and took in some sights and only a few folks did double takes at what the heck was atop my head (my messy bun frightens people). Charleston’s food scene is pretty dope and I ate like a right queen. Garr & I are high key obsessed with Netflix’s Chef’s Table and have been jonesing to visit one of the featured restaurants. We finally checked that off the bucket list this weekend and it was just superb. They made me a vegan entree without any hassles and it was basically just a bunch of side dishes but we all know that’s the best part of the meal anyways. G must have had a stroke or something when he placed his order because he chose snapper and he doesn’t like seafood?¿ It was swimming in a lil broth and it reminded him of a time he was camping and surviving off the land and he and his pals had the great idea to boil a fish they caught in a stew they were making and it turned gray and tasted like dirt. So, slightly different experiences.

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We ended the evening at a hot pink champagne & caviar bar & I decided then & there that I simply MUST have such a room in my next home.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup of red lentils, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of quinoa, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of barley, uncooked
  • 2 heads of broccoli, washed + cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of almonds, toasted + chopped
  • 1/4 cup of pomegranate seeds
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 1/2 tbsp. of sugar
  • 1/4 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice + zest of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/2 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Add onions to a jar or bowl, top with apple cider vinegar + sugar + 1 tsp. of S + 1 cup of warm water, cover + refrigerate until you’re ready to serve
  • Cook grains according to package directions, drain + set aside
  • Arrange broccoli on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + lemon juice + zest + dijon + S+P
  • To serve, combine grains + broccoli + pickled red onions (minus their juice) + almonds + pomegranate seeds + dressing
  • Serve warm, room temp or chilled
  • Place self in a high chair + feed self with hands like lil doll baby you are