Crispy Quinoa Burgers

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I am SO happy Game of Thrones is back!!!!

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^ A thing I have never said.

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Though I do appreciate any excuse to host a watch party so I’m here for it.

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I especially love this Kit Harrington and Emilia Clarke love story. Not because of their intense physical connection or because it’s an intriguing plot line. It’s simply because they’re both so gorgeous. People that look that way just need to be on my television screen pretending to be in love. The creators really missed the boat on not giving them more screen time, honestly. Unfortunately, the new episode brought me but a single kiss. There are a whole host of other characters I’m supposed to be invested in (Joshua Jackson, it’s nice to see you working!). Alas, I will hold out hope for a spinoff with just Kit and Emilia and their dragons and it will be a lighthearted, live studio sitcom about life in prehistoric times or something.

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My fellow watch party attendees only had to beg me to shut up and stop asking questions once, so I consider it a success.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup quinoa, uncooked
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1/2 cup of panko breadcrumbs
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Lettuce, for serving
  • Tomato, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Buns, for serving

How to:

  • Toast quinoa over low-medium heat for a few minutes, stirring often
  • Cook quinoa according to package directions, drain
  • In a bowl, mash cannellini beans
  • Stir in onion + cilantro + nutritional yeast + breadcrumbs + cooked quinoa + garlic + chili powder + cumin + paprika + red pepper + S+P
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Form into patties + place 2-3 in the skillet, not overcrowding, cook for 4 minutes per side or until crispy
  • Repeat with remaining patties
  • To serve, place a patty on a bun + top with lettuce + tomato + avocado
  • Take burger in one hand, smush it between your grimy fingers + rub contents on your face in a nice war paint fashion, you are prepared to attack the rest of the burgers

 

Copycat Panera Bread – Modern Greek Salad

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Why, oh why, was I not born in the early 1800s to a wealthy English family?!

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I think I could have really excelled.

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But only if I had money. I wouldn’t survive if I had to slum it.

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I went to a tea parlour this weekend with some girlfriends. My gosh, it was posh. This darling old lady waited on us wearing the most gorgeous apron I’ve ever seen. The whole place was decorated with these ornate paintings of British aristocrats. My people! We each had a pot of tea, served to us in these adorable tea pot coozies. Who knew such a happy thing existed in this world? Floral tea pot coozies! We ate scones and little biscuits (British for cookies, you wouldn’t understand) and just gabbed and sipped. In that moment, I felt I had truly found my calling. I am meant to be surrounded by beautiful things and delicate floral patterns and fine china and adorable little sugar cubes with equally adorable miniature sugar cube tongs. I now know I need at least three hours a day in the early afternoon for my tea time. Unfortunately, this is unacceptable in our heinous, overworked society.

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I feel like the Bronte sisters are probably the only ones who get me.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 2-3 cups of kale, washed
  • 2-3 cups of romaine lettuce, washed + shredded
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, halved
  • 1/2 cup of slivered almonds, toasted
  • 1 english cucumber, quartered
  • 2 cups of dry quinoa
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 15 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 tsp. of italian seasoning
  • 1 tsp. of paprika
  • 2 tbsp. of white wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • S+P, to taste
  • 6 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Cook the quinoa according to package directions, drain excess water
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add crushed tomatoes + italian seasoning + paprika + S+P
  • Bring to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes
  • Stir in quinoa + some S+P
  • To make the dressing, whisk remaining olive oil with vinegar + oregano + lemon juice + some S+P
  • To serve, combine kale + romaine + cucumber + olives + toasted almonds + quinoa sofrito + drizzle with dressing
  • Serve chilled

 

Adapted from here!

Chili Lime Broccoli Steaks

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Pretty sure I live in an alternate universe.

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And/or a North Carolina suburb with really well-behaved, respectful children. Either or.

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Garrett & I were the kewl house on the block last night. Ya know, the kind that leave out the giant bowl full of name-brand candy with no passive aggressive sign saying to please only take two pieces.

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We’re jazzed, man. Some little kid is going to have the Halloween of his life because he can take this bowl and dump it directly into his pillow sack and brag to all his friends that he got 89 mini Snickers from the kewl couple down the street. Garr and I go out and enjoy an evening with pals. We get home prepared to find an empty bowl, maybe catch a glimpse of a stray toddler dressed as a little cowboy, I don’t know. The bowl is UNTOUCHED. Not a single grubby mitt has been placed upon these Skittles. How can this be? We left the light on and everything! The front porch was decorated with pumpkins and mums! Mums, I tell you!!!! It’s an inviting porch! I was devastated. Questioning every decision. The Starburst were too wild, weren’t they??

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Now we are stuck with all of this candy and cannot decide whether to pitch it or throw it at passing cars.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 lil steaks

Ingredients:

  • 2 heads of broccoli, carefully halved
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. of garlic powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 shallot, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of cooked quinoa, for serving
  • Green onion, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 450 degrees
  • Arrange broccoli on lined baking sheet
  • Spray broccoli all over with cooking spray
  • Combine chili powder + cumin + cayenne pepper + garlic powder + S+P in a lil bowl
  • Rub all over the broccoli
  • Roast for 15 minutes
  • Flip steaks, roast another 10 minutes
  • Fresh out the oven, hit ’em with that lime juice + nutritional yeast
  • Serve hot with shallots + quinoa + green onion
  • Tell sweetie you’re having steaks for dinner, then serve him this + see if he still loves you