Cauli Rice Risotto with Fennel + Peas

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TELL ME some of you guys are following along with this slick crazy Instagram scavenger hunt engagement/wedding happening over the last few days.

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If not, allow me to fill you in with an abridged version.

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This Instagram influencer and her banker boyfriend are apparently getting engaged. Dude set up this wild scavenger hunt for her starting Tuesday and it’s literally still happening and she’s still not engaged or seen her beau. She went from NYC to the Hamptons to Miami and is now on her way to Paris. And she is posting every detail on her insta story and it’s gone viral Like, modern America, you gotta love it.

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I know this seems really exciting and thoughtful and romantic or something, but I have some questions. This gal has a 9-5 (supposedly), so is her boss really kewl with her just leaving work in the middle of a random Tuesday and not coming back for who only knows how long?? That must be one heck of a benefits package! Next, she doesn’t know where she’s going so doesn’t know what to pack. Literally one of my worst nightmares. I pack 12 outfits for one night because I can think of that many things that could go wrong, requiring backups. Additionally, she is on all of these planes and going, going, going, yet she shows absolutely no sign of travel bloat. I don’t buy it! Either she doesn’t eat or she is a specimen we need to lock up and study because the travel bloat is not something even the rich and famous can escape. Finally, this woman is getting showered with free gifts. Like, goodies are raining from the sky on her because of how big of a deal this is becoming. They are obvio already wealthy otherwise how is this happening in the first place, but now she’s getting free outfits and jewelry?! The cruel injustices of our social media-addicted world! Of which I am addicted.

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What happened to getting engaged on the porch of your boo’s house with your BFF stashed in a bush taking iPhone pix?? The good ‘ole days.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, grated into rice on a cheese grater
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, monced
  • 1/4 cup of dry white wine
  • 1/4 cup of vegetable broth
  • 6 tbsp. of walnuts
  • 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of vegan buter
  • 1 fennel bulb, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of frozen peas
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat one tbsp. of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add cauliflower, coat + cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add wine, cook another 2 minutes
  • Add broth, cook another 5 minutes or until absorbed by the cauli rice
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add fennel + S+P, cook 5-7 minutes
  • Meanwhile, pulse walnuts + nutritional yeast + some S+P in a food processor
  • Turn heat to low + add in walnut mix + butter + fennel + peas + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Eat 6 bowls of this back to back because it’s basically like eating air

 

Adapted from here!

Mango + Tempeh Curry

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On my ever-expanding journey to become a better person, I’ve decided to stop complaining.

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For a week. I’m only going to stop complaining for a week.

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Baby steps, people.

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I was listening to K-Love on the way to yoga the other morning and was inspired by one of the sweet preachers who basically told me to get my act together and stop complaining all the time because I have everything I could ever need. Like, OK when you put it that way. At first I was like man this is going to be a piece of cake. I’m not really a complainer. I mean, I’m pretty self-deprecating, but I don’t really complain. Or so I thought… Man, I started evaluating my thoughts a little more closely and I whine about EVERYTHING. The weather, money, not having enough hours in the day, my face, my hair, my love handles, etc. You name it, I can probably find something pretty negative to say about it. It’s a gift really. But I’ve actually done pretty well the last 48 hours! Perhaps I’ve turned over a positive leaf!

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Then I had to call my internet provider and complain about my bill so alas I’m starting my week of no complaints fresh tomorrow.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cut into cubes
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut oil
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of ginger, ground
  • 1 mango, diced
  • 1 1/2 cup of coconut milk
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 1 tbsp. of curry powder
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 cups of brown rice, cooked
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Heat coconut oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + soy sauce, cook for 5-6 minutes or until browned slightly
  • Add onion + some S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add pepper + garlic + ginger, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine coconut milk + lime juice + curry powder + red pepper + S+P
  • Stir in coconut milk mixture + mango, bring to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes
  • Serve hot over brown rice with some cilantro
  • Using a funnel to avoid spillage, pour mango + tempeh curry into mouth + guzzle it down like a champion

 

Adapted from here!

Cuban Black Bean + Plantain Bowls

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That’s it. I’m done doing anything nice for someone other than myself.

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Nothing good can come of it. It just comes back to bite me.

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Today, I spent a very large sum of money on a gift for my husband. A couple months ago, he came home and was like, “I need to invest in a watch. ALLLLLLL the guys have really nice watches. Like Rolexes!!!!” I told him absolutely not, no way, not happening. Watches are ridiculous and don’t matter, yada, yada. Ya know, to throw him off the scent and make him hate me for a bit until I could go behind his back and buy one.

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So we’re sitting on the couch tonight, planning our weekend, surfing the net. I’m acting totally kewl. He’s not onto me in the slightest. Then, for some reason I’ll never understand, he decides to check his email like a civilized adult. Curveball! And who has emailed him? AMEX. The biggest busybody on the credit card block, that’s who. I thought they only emailed ME to verify the purchase. What, you don’t trust me, AMEX? You have to check with my HUSBAND?! A little sexist, but we’ll deal with that another day. Garr looks at me and is like, “What is this AMEX email about possible fraudulent activity? Did you try to buy something from a jeweler?” I panic. Totally spaz out. “Umm…yeah I was just looking at rings for myself.” Yes, this IS the best I could come up with. He’s all, “What did you do, Rachel…….?” I spill my guts. Surprise ruined. I’m thinking we’ll have a good laugh, he’ll be super psyched. 0/2 today, Rach. He’s peeved I didn’t consult him before a big purchase! This tells you how often we buy gifts for each other.

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The cherry on top – “I might have exaggerated a LITTLE bit about all the guys having nice watches. I’ve maybe seen one or two.” I’M DONE, PEOPLE. I’M OUT.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of black beans
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 ripe plantains, cut in 1/4 inch sliced
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tbsp. of coriander
  • 1 tsp. of paprika
  • 1 tbsp. of lime juice
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Brown rice, for serving

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange half of the plantains in an even layer, cook 2-3 minutes until slightly browned, flip + cook another 2-3 minutes, remove to a paper towel-lined plate
  • Repeat with another tbsp. of oil + plantains
  • Meanwhile, in a deep skillet heat remaining olive oil over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add beans + cumin + coriander + paprika + some S+P, stir to coat + cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add 1/2 cup of water + lime juice, cook another 6-7 minutes
  • Turn off heat, stir in most of the cilantro, saving some to top your bowls
  • To serve, add some brown rice to a bowl + top with beans + plantains + avocado + some more cilantro, repeat
  • Pour contents in blender + shake it all up + gulp down your exotic bean + plantain juice, a flavor sure to be coming to a smoothie store near you

 

Adapted from here!