Smoky Tempeh + Hummus Salad

I desperately need a life.

I’ve always known this, it’s not totally news. I’m pretty boring, lackluster, average, etc. I’m not looking for compliments, I’m just very self aware.

But it’s become glaringly obvious in the last several days that something has to give.

As my dreams have been haunted completely by…characters from The Bachelor franchise. I call them characters because I’m not convinced they’re real people. I’ve only seen one in real life and she was far away, but we did ride on the same airplane together so ~celeb sighting~. Anyways, it just does not do anything good for my psyche to go from watching The Bachelorette every Monday night immediately into a fresh season of Bachelor in Paradise. As much as I love the continuity, I am truly consumed with these people and need a break.

But will I give myself one by just not stalking all of them on instagram and skipping next week’s episode? Absolutely not.

Time: 3.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cut in thin slices
  • 1 cup of hummus, any flavor you fancy
  • 3-4 rainbow carrots, sliced in thin rounds
  • 1/4 of a red cabbage, sliced thin
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup + 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of honey
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tbsp. of sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of rosemary
  • 4-6 cups of arugula
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar + honey + smoked paprika + olive oil + S+P
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a container + pour marinade over them, cover, shake + refrigerate for 3 hours
  • Meanwhile, add cabbage to another container + pour 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar + 1/2 cup of water + sugar + garlic + S+P, cover, shake + refrigerate that too
  • Once tempeh is marinated + cabbage pickled, preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Arrange carrots on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P + rosemary
  • Bake 20-25 minutes, tossing once, until roasted to your desire
  • In a skillet, heat remaining tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add tempeh, cook 5-6 minutes until crisp to your desire
  • To serve, arrange some arugula in a dish + top with tempeh + pickled cabbage + roasted carrots + a big dollop of hummus
  • Cram a little bit of each bite into your cram hole

Mediterranean Salad Tacos

I know you all were very concerned, but we survived our first family vacations.

Barely.

The biggest lesson I learned: don’t take a sick baby on vacation and expect to have a pleasant time.

Of course Lulu times her first cold to be during our first vacation. The audacity. Very inconvenient for me and her father. She really did OK until night fell. Then all hell broke loose. Like I can’t help that you’re a baby and can’t have pillows in your pack n play and therefore are miserable when you have a stuffed up nose and are horizontal. That’s just not my fault. You don’t have to take it out on me by waking up every hour on the hour for an entire night like a daggum newborn. It’s inconsiderate and frankly I won’t stand for it.

I absolutely stood for it and stayed up with her all night rocking her pitiful, precious, angelic self to sleep every time the sniffles got the best of her.

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 an English cucumber, sliced + quartered
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 4-5 cups of spinach
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/4 cup of hummus
  • 1-2 tbsp. of olive tapenade
  • Flour tortillas
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil + some S+P, roast 20-25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, add spinach + tomatoes + cucumber + onion + lemon juice + S+P to a bowl + mix, add chickpeas once roasted
  • Spread some hummus on one side of tortillas
  • Top with heaping scoops of salad + dollop with tapenade
  • Serve room temp
  • Wrap them up tight + shove as much in your mouth as possible, then use your grubby hands to scoop the goodies that slide out

Cous Cous + Apple Salad

Today, I hit a new parenting milestone.

I took Louisa into a store.

Well, I’m not sure the dog groomer counts as a store, but it is an establishment, of sorts.

I’ve been putting this chore off because I couldn’t grasp how I was going to get Louisa & Topanga into the groomer in one swoop. The picture in my mind just seemed too chaotic for me to handle. But Topanga looked mangy & probably had critters living in her fur, so I had to buck up & do it. Well, it was just as chaotic as I imagined. Topanga was in rare form getting to go on a car ride for the first time in a while so she was just a nut job. Lou was basically a perfect angel, but despite having the lightest car seat you can buy, it’s somehow still the clumsiest thing I have ever tried to walk with. We get inside and it’s been so long since I’ve talked to store employees, I really didn’t know how to act. I think I just stood there until someone was like umm we can take the dog for you…. Then I was like oh yes umm ok do I pay now?!?! And they were like ma’am, you pay when you come get her. Then I still just kind of stood around for a few seconds too long. When I finally realized my job there was done, I started to walk away & then yelled back goodbye to Topanga???? It was obscene.

Lou wants a new mom.

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of cous cous, uncooked
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 red onion, chopped
  • 1 red honey crisp apple, chopped
  • 1 cup of arugula, packed
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • Handful of basil, chiffonaded
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Spread chickpeas on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, roast for 10 minutes
  • Add onion + some more S+P, bake for another 10-15 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, cook cous cous according to package directions
  • In a bowl, combine cous cous + chickpeas + onions +apple + arugula + basil + drizzle with lemon juice + remaining olive oil + S+P
  • Serve warm or chilled
  • Just eat the whole thing in one sitting why don’t you