Apricot + Caper Jam Grilled Cheese


A thing we should have done 4 years ago:


Invest in a king bed.


Truly, how has our marriage survived up until this point?


It’s not that we don’t love cuddling. We’re a big cuddling couple. We cuddle watching tv, cuddle while we read, cuddle while we scroll through our phones looking at memes and food pix. But when it’s time for night night, it’s time for night night. We go our separate ways. It’s an absolute no limb touching zone. If a toe crosses the border and caresses a calf, it’s like Mortal Kombat 7. Hence the need for a ginormous king bed. It’s basically like  having three lil twin beds all connected. One for Garr, one for me & Topanga has one all to herself!


Now if only the bed frame would arrive & we could lift our mattress off the floor and stop living like frat boys.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 grilled cheeses


  • 1 loaf of crusty bread, sliced
  • 3 cups of arugula, packed
  • 6 slices of vegan pepper jack cheese
  • 1/2 cup of vegan cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter
  • 20 dried apricots
  • 1 tbsp of capers
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a sauce pan, add apricots + just enough water to cover
  • Bring to a boil, turn off + remove from heat
  • Mix in capers + dijon mustard + oil + some S+P
  • Add to a food processor + pulse until chunky but spreadable
  • Refrigerate until you’re ready to cook
  • Spread one side of a piece of bread with butter + the other with cream cheese, repeat with all breads
  • On the cream cheese side, spread some jam + top with cheese + arugula + another piece of bread, cream cheese side down, repeat with all sandwiches
  • Add a lil butter to a skillet over medium heat
  • Cook sammies for 2-3 minutes on each side
  • Serve hot
  • Dip sammie into vat of jam, use sammie to trace jam heart on face + get self portraits made

Grilled PB + Banana + Tempeh Bacon Sammies



Sometimes I surprise myself.


By how little I know about things I should have been taught in middle school.


Exhibit A: Garr and I were watching Planet Earth last night. All sorts of animals were doing all sorts of things. About 18 times, I thought to myself, “Didn’t know penguins did that” or “Wow, who knew goats could do that?” Garr’s favorite was when I made the mistake of thinking out loud, “Huh, I didn’t know bears hung out in snow-covered mountains.”


Then, today’s top news story is the plummeting stock market. I’m listening and I’m like, yes, yes, I’m following. Down = bad; up = good. Simple enough. Then, they start really diving into it… Percentages, points, men in ill-fitting suits running around with little notepads. I find myself thinking, “Do I even know what the stock market really is……….???”


I have other valuable knowledge, though, like TV, some books and vegan foods.




Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4 sammies


  • 12 slices of ezekiel bread
  • 1 1/2 cups of natural PB
  • 1 banana, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of raspberry preserves
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • Vegan butter, for grilling sammies

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a dish + pour marinade over, let them sit for 20 minutes
  • Heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Arrange tempeh slices in a single layer, cook for 2-3 minutes, flip + cook another 2 minutes, remove + put on a plate
  • To build sammies, spread some softened vegan butter on two slices of bread
  • On the unbuttered sides, spread some preserves + on one slice of bread + some PB on another, top PB slice with banana + bacon, put the two together, repeat with remaining sammies
  • Heat some butter in a skillet over low-medium heat, grill sammies for 3-4 minutes on each side
  • Serve warm
  • Put on gloves before handling because the ooey gooey goodness of this melty PB is gonna get all over you


Bacon from here!


Eggplant BLTAs


OK, OK, I’ll tell you about my toes.


I just don’t really have any….


I mean, I have ten ~things~ on the ends of my feet but I’m not sure you can call them toes.


Let’s set the scene: My big toe and baby toe are the only normal-sized ones. Think the rockstar hand symbol. The second and third lil piggies are webbed. I like to think of them as being on their own plateau. Half of the webbed duo, toe #3, is the smallest one. The nail on this one is about the size of your average food crumb, I’d say. Both feet are identical. It’s a medical miracle, honestly. I used to avoid sandals as much as possible cause evil peeps would make fun. Then I started telling people that I was born toe-less so they cut some off of a dead baby and sewed them on me. That shut ’em up.


I would include a visual but you might gouge your eyes out and forever lose your appetite.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 sandwiches


  • 1 eggplant, peeled + sliced thin on a mandolin
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of Worcestershire
  • 1 tbsp. of honey
  • 1 tbsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of vegan mayo
  • 2 tbsp. of sriracha
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Tomato, for serving
  • Lettuce, for serving
  • Sourdough bread, toasted

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 225 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine olive oil + soy sauce + Worcestershire + honey + liquid smoke + paprika +garlic powder + S+P
  • Arrange eggplant slices on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet
  • Spread some of the sauce onto each slice, flip + spread on other side
  • Bake for 30 minutes or until crisp
  • Meanwhile, combine mayo + sriracha
  • To serve, spread sriracha mayo on two slices of bread + on one slice add lettuce + tomato + avo + eggplant bacon + top with mayo side of the other slice
  • Serve this to your sweetie at a summer picnic + see if he still talks to you



Bacon adapted from here!