Charred Veggie Ragu


I’ve met someone.


It’s serious, we’re very committed. I can’t imagine ever saying goodbye.


To our cleaning woman.


That’s not even a good enough title for her. Cleaning queen? Her majesty? Master of my heart and soul? I don’t even know, but I love her with my entire being. Used to, I would spend our entire Sundays cleaning the house. We could never really do anything on Sundays because it was always church, clean, nap, fold laundry. That was the rhythm. We sound fun, right? Well, after months of Garr begging to hire someone, claiming he refuses to scrub one more toilet (first world problems), I caved. And I will never look back. She came for the first time last week and FIRST THING SHE SAID was, “Do you have a ladder? I want to clean all of these ceiling fans. If not, I have one in the car.” *SWOON* I went to get some tea, so I was out of her way. I came back and she was on top of the kitchen counters cleaning above the cabinets. I proposed to her right then and there.


Next, I plan to invest in a Honey I Shrunk the Kids device so I can shrink her and keep her in my pocket.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4


  • 1 onion, quartered
  • 5-6 portobello mushrooms, quartered
  • 2 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 2 carrots or 8 baby ones, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1/2 cup of red wine
  • 1 package of papparedelle
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange onion + portobello + carrots + celery on a  parchment paper lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, tossing once
  • Once cooled, process in food processor until a paste-like consistency + a lil chunky
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cremini mushrooms, cook 6-8 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + red wine, cook, stirring constantly for a minute
  • Add veggie paste + red pepper + S+P, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, reserving 1 1/2 cups of cooking liquid
  • Add noodles straight to the ragu pan + 1/2 cup of liquid, tossing + cooking for a minute
  • Add another 1/2 cup, tossing until sauce starts to thin
  • Add another 1/2 cup if necessary to thin the sauce
  • Add some S+P + red pepper if desired
  • Serve warm



Adapted from here!



Homemade Fettuccine + Red Sauce


I’m transitioning to a vegan.


I think.


There is just so much to consider. My biggest dilemma being what do I substitute for my daily bagel and cream cheese schmear?! I can obvio keep the bagel, but what do I spread all over it? I don’t want peanut butter and I don’t want to make a weekly vat of vegan cream cheese, how daunting. Don’t even bother suggesting I eat it plain, I am not a monster.


Other considerations: skim milk to dunk my Oreos in, Chobani lime yogurt, cheese cubes, cheese slices, shredded cheese, melted cheese, the rice at my favie Mexican restaurant that is covered in cheese, delivery pizza, grilled cheese, butter, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, cheesy grits, cheesy potatoes, to name a few that come to mind.


Also, I told my dad this news and he said he’d rather I transition to a man than a vegan so I have a strong support system.



And now a non-vegan recipe lol:

Time: 3 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4


  • 2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 tsp. of sea salt
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 5 tomatoes, peeled
  • 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup of fresh basil, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of parmigiano reggiano

How to:

  • Combine flour + salt in a large bowl
  • Make a well + add eggs to the center
  • Mix dough
  • Once dough is in a nice lil ball, move from bowl to a floured surface + knead until a smooth ball is formed
  • Wrap in plastic wrap + set aside for 30 minutes-hour
  • Roll out dough as thin as you can, if you have a pasta machine, whip it out you luckies!!!
  • Once thin enough, cut into even strips
  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add the fresh noodles + cook for 3-4 minutes until al dente
  • For sauce, add olive oil to a large pot over medium heat
  • Add garlic, cook for 1-2 minutes
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, simmer for an hour, uncovered
  • Add basil + crushed red pepper, simmer for another hour, covered
  • Transfer to a food processor + process until smooth
  • Pour back in the pot, stir in cheese + adjust seasoning to taste
  • Toss pasta with sauce + serve with extra basil + cheese
  • Put on bib + eat with grubby mitts like your inner fussy toddler



Help came from these guys!


Lentil Bolognese

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So I think I’m finally in this “fit fam” you all keep talking about.

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I mean, I skipped the Oreo aisle while grocery shopping this weekend & I’ve gotten in the habit of doing squats every morning once I put my rollers in.

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Ok, so maybe I’m in the fit step-family. Perhaps I’m the weird aunt who gives out pencils on Halloween. So be it.

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These are big steps for me! I’m never going to be a gym rat. I’ve tried on and off for my entire adult life. It’s just that I only have like two cute workout outfits and my hair has never looked good in a ponytail. My elementary school boyfriend broke up with me because I put my hair in a ponytail during recess once. But I’m over it, obviously. Anyways, the gym just isn’t healthy for me emotionally.

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So as I wholly commit to this fit fam lifestyle, I welcome any tips that also allow me to continue shoving carbs down my throat.





Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 cup of lentils, rinsed + drained
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 6 oz. of tomato paste
  • 1 can of fire roasted diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 tbsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of dried basil leaves
  • 1/2 tsp. of italian seasoning
  • 1 package of whole wheat pasta
  • 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese, + more for serving
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Cook pasta according to package directions, drain
  • Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Stir in tomato paste, cook another minute
  • Stir in diced tomatoes + crushed tomatoes
  • Add oregano + crushed red pepper + dried basil + italian seasoning + S+P
  • Simmer for 3-4 minutes
  • Add lentils + parmesan + S+P, simmer for another 4-5 minutes
  • Cook pasta to al dente, drain
  • In a large bowl, combine pasta + bolognese
  • Serve hot with extra parmesan cheese
  • Slurp these noodles as loud as you want you deserve it you filthy animal


There are a ton of versions of this on Pinterest, but I do believe mine is the easiest 😉