Shrimp + Broccoli Stir Fry

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Hello, it’s me.

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I apologize for my absence. Daylight savings time really screwed me. Also, I was recovering from a ridiculous weekend with my BFF.

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Cheryl came to Seattle for Halloween. There aren’t enough adjectives to describe her time here. I will sum it up with this: ludicrous. Like, we went to lunch, dinner, and drinks. Then we ordered a Papa John’s. Night ONE.

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We can’t be stopped when we get together. Mix that with costumes & it’s absolutely over. We decided on being Black Swan weeks ago. Like, Natalie Portman’s acclaimed role. I would be the black swan & Cheryl the white swan, obviously. Tutus & leotards ordered, the whole nine yards. Halloween comes. We’re all, “let’s get brunch & then we’ll come home & put on costumes.” Do you think we made it into our costumes on Halloween? We made it to tacos & pumpkin cider but we did not make it into our costumes. Priorities, people.

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So we got up Sunday morning & had a photo shoot instead.

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Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of shrimp
  • 1 large head of broccoli, cut in florets
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 3 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 1 tbsp. of rice wine vinegar
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of ground ginger
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • P, to taste
  • Sesame seeds, for serving
  • Green onion, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + sriracha + rice wine vinegar + garlic + ginger + crushed red pepper + P
  • Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat
  • Add shrimp + cook for 2-3 minutes or until pink + cooked through
  • Add broccoli + red pepper + cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Slowly pour in sauce + stir to combine
  • Bring to a boil + then turn down the heat
  • Serve hot with sesame seeds + green onion
  • Scoop warm handfuls into face hole

Shrimp + Quinoa Salad

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I’m really going to need these celebrity couples to go to some therapy or something because I am about over these splits.

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Like, is there something in the water out there in Hollywood? Or is the drought making these celebs LOSE THEIR MINDS???? I think it’s selfish, really. What do young couples have to aspire to if not Blake & Miranda or Kermit & Miss Piggy?

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I just feel like we really don’t have any role models anymore. Growing up, I had Nick & Jessica Lachey. They weren’t perfect, I’ll admit. But they had that cutie mansion & the “is this chicken or fish?” episode that made us all swoon. Just pure, innocent, stupid love. When they split I thought it was over for me. J. Simp can’t make it work then who can?????

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I don’t want young girls to go through that same heart ache & self-doubt. Upper middle class suburban youth NEED strong, wealthy celebrity couples.

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If Posh Spice & David Beckham call it quits, I’m literally out.

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of uncooked shrimp, peeled + cleaned
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 6 cups of arugula
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 3 cloves of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon

How to:

  • In a large bowl, combine olive oil + hot sauce + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + crushed red pepper + garlic + S+P
  • Add shrimp + coat well
  • Cover & refrigerate for 30 minutes
  • Meanwhile, heat a grill
  • Skewer the shrimp once done marinating
  • Grill on each side for 2-3 minutes or until slightly charred + pink
  • Combine arugula + quinoa + shrimp + lemon juice + S+P
  • Serve warm
  • Dunk head into bowl + go to town

Shrimp + Pesto Pizza

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Can we talk about golf for a second? No, for real, it will only take a second.

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Because it’s the most boring activity I’ve ever even heard of. Literally, I’d rather watch a checkers match than golf. Yet people line up to stand out in the heat & just…. watch.

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The U.S. Open just has my head spinning. I’ve sat in a lot of golf traffic lately so I’ve had lots of time to think about this.

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1) There’s a dress code. Collared shirts. K no girls look cute in polo shirts. I’m not a feminist, but this is so rude. 2) You can’t speak above a whisper. This is a sport, right? I want to drink too many cold beverages & yell at people. Like, freedom of speech. 3) Crowds. There will be an expected 60,000 spectators at the Open each day this weekend. I literally don’t ever need to be in the same space as 60,000 people tbh.

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Look, anyone in WA looking to avoid golf, come on over. Wear whatever you want & I’ll make 18 pizzas.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 pizzas

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of uncooked shrimp, peeled + deveined + tails off
  • 1 onion, sliced
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • 1 cup of packed basil leaves
  • 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese + more for serving
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of butter
  • Naan bread
  • S+P,  to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine walnuts + basil + parmesan cheese + 3 tbsp. of garlic + S+P, process on low
  • Slowly pour in 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • Heat other tbsp. olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + cook for 5-6 minutes or until slightly caramelized
  • Add butter + let melt
  • Add shrimp + garlic, cook until shrimp are pink + cooked through
  • Spread naan with pesto + add shrimp mixture
  • Top with extra parmesan cheese
  • Bake for 6-8 minutes or until cheese is melted + naan is golden
  • Serve hot
  • Smash face into plate of pizza