Chocolate Chip Larabars

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A fun new marital test: go 71 hours without power.

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Hurricane Florence was something else, I tell you what.

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Our power went out at 6pm Friday and I, being naive and incredibly stupid, was actually excited for the vacation from amenities.

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It started out with a lot of potential. The power went out and we had like all of our neighbors over and we grilled and listened to music and my house smelled like a cookie shop (food candles) and it was just FUN! The next day we basically did the same except there were games and a puzzle and reading by headlamp. More fun! It wasn’t until hour like 56 after I’d read an entire book and Garrett refused to play another board game with me and I’d had several cold showers and three cans of soup heated on the grill that I became a tad despondent. The prospect of sleeping in a hot room with no air flow next to a 200-pound human furnace AGAIN was discouraging. After a bucket of tears and a quick screaming match, we decided to stay at a friend’s house. We left the Panera we were working at to go home and quickly pack. As we pull into our driveway, we could see a lamp was on through the window. LET THERE BE LIGHT, PEOPLE!!! We ran into the house, jumping and screaming and kissing and all was well again.

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Until it was time to clean out the fridge and we discovered a rotten cucumber whose stench we still cannot get out of our nostrils.

 

But like for real, it could have been 109234i5x worse and we are so grateful and looking for ways to help those affected!

 

Ingredients:

  • 4 cups of pitted dates
  • 2 cups of whole almonds
  • 1 cup of vegan chocolate chips
  • 2 tbsp. of peanut butter

How to:

  • Line a 9×13 pan with double the parchment paper you think you need
  • Add almonds to a processor + pulse until fine
  • Add chocolate chips + pulse until combined + fine
  • Pour mix into a bowl
  • Now add half the dates to processor + process until they form a lil ball
  • Add half the peanut butter + half the chocolatey nuts + process until all combined into a ball
  • Remove + place ball on the lined pan
  • Repeat with remaining ingredients
  • Combine both date balls + knead + pat down into an even layer
  • Cover with sides of the parchment paper until completely covered
  • Put something heavy on top + refrigerate for two hours
  • Cut into shapes you like, wrap individually + refrigerate, eat when hungry
  • Set up a table outside of your home + sell your bars for $35 a pop

 

These easy peasy dudes are adapted from here!

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Bites

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Y’all remember being like 14 and the biggest part of your week was looking forward to going to see a bleak movie with about 18 of your closest friends on a Friday?

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It didn’t matter what movie you were seeing, it was all about being SEEN. Who were you with, who would you be meeting up with? Questions that could define your eighth grade social status!!!!!!

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Some of the first events I ever coordinated, truly. Whose mom is taking? Whose dad is picking up? Do we want to go to the Chili’s first? Can someone borrow one of their parent’s cell phones so we can call when the movie is over?

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The greatest delight, without fail, came from the concessions area. For the whole of my adolescent movie-going career, I waltzed up to the candy counter of the theatre and ordered a box of chocolate chip cookie dough bites. PLEASEEEE tell me you know what I am talking about. They came in a red box and were bite-sized lil nuggets of love that breathed life into my awkward, middle school body. When the movie theatre stopped selling them, I would have to stop at the Walgreens around the corner to stock up and sneak in to the theatre. I committed crimes for this love! I think theatre officials caught on to this and now my beloveds simply cannot be found.

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Except I just searched Amazon and apparently you can get a 30-pack for $31. That is a BARGAIN.

 

(Actually, just make mine)

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + fridge time) | Serves: Almost 2 Dozen

Ingredients:

  • 1 stick of melted butter (veganize if you want!)
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of pure cane sugar
  • 2 tsps. of vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 bag of dark chocolate chips
  • Pinch of salt

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine melted butter + brown sugar + cane sugar, beat for 2-3 minutes or until well combined
  • Add vanilla extract + flour + 1/2 cup of chocolate chips + salt, combine well
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop a lil dough + pack into tight balls using your hands
  • Arrange on lined baking sheet, repeat until all done
  • Refrigerate for 25-30 minutes
  • Once cookie dough balls are firm, melt the remaining chocolate chips
  • Dip dough balls into melted chocolate + coat evenly
  • Arrange back on sheet, repeat until all done
  • Refrigerate another 25-30 minutes
  • Serve chilled/cold
  • Pls try not to eat all of these in one sitting, you will puke, but it won’t be my fault because these are the most addictive bites of my entire life

 

Started with this recipe!

http://www.sheknows.com/food-and-recipes/articles/988715/no-bake-chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-bites-recipe

Root Chips

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I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions, but I have made about 83 so far.

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In no particular order, I’d like to stop picking my split ends, master baking, worry less, buy more candles, become a minimalist, read 40 books, exfoliate more and reduce my social media footprint just to name a few.

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Twelve days in and I’m 0/83.

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These resolutions really boil down to a common theme: becoming a healthier, more well-rounded Rachel. If successful, I’ll have healthier hair and skin, less clutter, a sound mind and a house that smells like Ina Garten’s on lemon tart day. Though self-absorbed, I have high hopes for myself this year!

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Next year I’ll resolve to do something for the greater good, I promise.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: a bunch of chips

*Note – get a mandolin!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the arm workout I never knew I needed

Ingredients:

  • 1 sweet potato, peeled + sliced thin
  • 2 parsnips, peeled + sliced thin
  • 1 beet, peeled + sliced thin
  • 2 golden beets, peeled + sliced thin
  • 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Arrange slices on paper towels + sprinkle with salt, let water release from veggies for about 15 minutes
  • Arrange on lined baking sheets evenly
  • Drizzle with olive oil
  • Bake for 15-20 minutes
  • Remove from oven + sprinkle with S + a little P immediately
  • Serve
  • Spread next to bed while sweetie is sleeping + wait for him to yell a lot when he wakes + crunches them all under his toes