Stuffed Red Pepper Soup

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I consider myself very responsible.

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I’m organized, make to-do lists just to cross things off, am always on time, look both ways before crossing the road, etc. The pillars of responsibility!

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So at my pal’s bachelorette party this weekend, I obvio offered to be a designated driver.

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I didn’t have a car on this trip, so I drove my friend’s. I was also the keeper of one of our AirBNB keys. See, responsibility is my middle name! Everything went well. I didn’t crash my friend’s car and we all got to our destinations safely. I made sure the AirBNB was locked at all times even when we were inside for 5 minutes – I’m sorry, I trust no one. So a safe and lovely time was had by all. I’m in the airport Sunday sipping on a smoothie, reading my book. I’m really just living my best airport life when I get a text asking where I put my friend’s keys. I mentally retrace my steps. I parked and locked the car. I fished out the AirBNB key. We walked in the house. I set the AirBNB key down, but not the car keys. Where would I have put them???? ………..No, no, no, no, no! I open my purse and there they are, neatly placed in a side pocket where my own car keys usually go. The best part is I’m in Baltimore and 900 miles away from my friend and her car at this point. *Face palm*

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Big shouts to Andre at the BWI UPS for helping a girl out and making me feel a lot better by sharing he ships keys every day. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone in this idiotic world.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 red peppers, diced
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cup of red lentils, uncooked
  • 1/2 cup of brown rice, uncooked
  • 3 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1 15 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 container of vegetable broth
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add red peppers, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add lentils + rice, coat to combine + toast for 2 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + crushed tomatoes + seasonings + S+P, cook another minutes
  • Add vegetable broth, bring to boil, lower heat + simmer for 30 minutes
  • Add spinach + adjust seasonings to taste
  • Serve warm with cilantro + avocado
  • Sit outside in the 100 degree summer weather with your hot bowl of soup + pretend you are at a spa in a really nice sauna allowing all the toxins to sweat out of your body

 

Adapted from here!

 

Broccoli Cheddah Soup

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I’m up to 2.5 packs a day.

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Of gum. I need an intervention.

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I don’t know where I went wrong. I mean, I’ve always loved gum. Who doesn’t? It’s chewy and tasty and fun to play with and you can make bubbles and it keeps your mouth moist and your breath fresh.

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Sometime in the last 6 months, I’ve stopped just like picking up a pack at the checkout counter when the nice displays remind me. I started adding it to my weekly grocery list. Then, I started grabbing a couple of 3-packs at a time, so as not to run out. I began to chew more because I had more. Half a pack a day turned into a whole pack, a whole pack turned into 2, and here we are. Drowning in gum debt. The first 90 seconds with a piece of gum are just pure ecstasy. I go through the gum so fast because I’m trying to achieve ultimate nirvana by having any one piece provide the utter delight I’m after for more than 90 seconds. Yes, I sound like a drug addict. Yes, I’m ashamed. Lately, I’ve been having these terrible stomach aches. Like, I haven’t eaten anything weird(er than usual), but all of a sudden my stomach balloons & is hard as a friggin’ rock. I’ve had to leave three restaurants with my pants unbuttoned now and soon I’ll be banned from eating out in this town. Well, PLOT TWIST, gum causes bloating! Especially when you binge chew two packs in 1.5 hours like I do. Wooo. So now I have to cut back. Detox. Whatever.

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It’s already having positive effects, though, like this jaw pain I’d been feeling suddenly disappeared, huh, who woulda thunk it?

 

 

Time: 1.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 5 heads of broccoli, cut into florets
  • 1 white onion, chopped
  • 1 large carrot, peeled + chopped
  • 2 celery ribs, diced
  • 1 medium russet potato, chopped
  • 4 cups of vegetable stock
  • 2 tbsp. of plain nondairy milk
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of cashews, soaked overnight or at least 30 minutes + drained
  • 2 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange broccoli on 2 lined baking sheets
  • Drizzle each sheet with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a large stock pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add carrots + celery, cook 2-3 minutes
  • Add potato + S+P, cook 5-6 minutes
  • Meanwhile, pulse cashews in a food processor until fine
  • Add milk + nutritional yeast + apple cider vinegar +  1/2 the veggie mix to the food processor + combine until smooth
  • Add back to the pot + add most of the broccoli, reserving a lil to top soups, stir to combine
  • Add broth, bring to a boil, reduce the heat + let simmer 25-30 minutes
  • Meanwhile arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with the remaining olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes
  • Remove the soup from the heat + using an immersion blender (or blender), blend your soup allllll up until smooth to your desire
  • Add lemon juice + crushed red pepper + some S+P
  • Serve hot with roasted broccoli + chickpeas
  • Take the reusable straw I know your granola behind has + stick it in the soup + slurp to your heart’s delight

Cauliflower Soup

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Am I the last human on planet earth who enjoys grocery shopping?

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I’ve certainly gotta be the last millennial to write out a grocery list on PAPER and spend my precious time physically walking through a store picking out my own groceries using the dangly limbs hanging off of my body.

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I just find it so therapeutic. Moseying through the aisles armed with my re-usable produce bags and a plan. It’s thrilling.

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Errbody be doing these apps where the grocery store peeps bag the groceries and bring them to the cart for them. Perhaps it’s my deep-rooted trust issues, but I could never allow a stranger to pick out my produce! First, there is the issue of hygiene. I’m sure the grocery store employs fine, showered people, but I just can’t be sure those mitts are clean. Also, do these apps allow you to apply notes with your selections? Like, if I need 8 avocados, can I specify I need 2 super ripe ones and 6 others that are like straight from the tree? Are they required to consult the expiration dates or do they pass the slightly fuzzy berries on the app shoppers? Once they bring the food to my car, do I get to squeeze and sniff all of it before I’m stuck with it? I can’t be expected to drive off with any ‘ole avocado! I just have a lot of questions.

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Though I would avoid debacles like this weekend when I left a bag full of onions and eggplants at the checkout, got home, threw away the receipt, took out the trash and THEN realized I did not have said onions and eggplants.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 heads of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil + more for serving (if desired)
  • 1/4 cup of capers, patted dry
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro for serving

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange cauliflower on two lined baking sheets + drizzle each with a tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Place on the middle oven rack + broil for 20 minutes
  • Meanwhile, heat another tbsp. of olive oil in a stock pot over medium heat
  • Add onion, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add all but a lil bit of the cauliflower (this is to top your soups with + give a lil texture), toss + cook for 2 minutes
  • Add 6 cups of water + crushed red pepper + S+P, bring to a boil, lower heat + simmer for 30 minutes
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a lil skillet over medium heat
  • Add the dry capers + cook for 2-3 minutes, remove + let cool
  • Turn soup off heat + blend with an immersion blender until smooth + creamy
  • Serve warm with cauliflower bits + capers + cilantro + a lil extra oil if desired
  • Slurp this puppy down + lick the bowl clean like the filthy mongrel you really are