Charred Veggie Ragu

fullsizeoutput_f6e

I’ve met someone.

fullsizeoutput_f7b

It’s serious, we’re very committed. I can’t imagine ever saying goodbye.

fullsizeoutput_f76

To our cleaning woman.

fullsizeoutput_f73

That’s not even a good enough title for her. Cleaning queen? Her majesty? Master of my heart and soul? I don’t even know, but I love her with my entire being. Used to, I would spend our entire Sundays cleaning the house. We could never really do anything on Sundays because it was always church, clean, nap, fold laundry. That was the rhythm. We sound fun, right? Well, after months of Garr begging to hire someone, claiming he refuses to scrub one more toilet (first world problems), I caved. And I will never look back. She came for the first time last week and FIRST THING SHE SAID was, “Do you have a ladder? I want to clean all of these ceiling fans. If not, I have one in the car.” *SWOON* I went to get some tea, so I was out of her way. I came back and she was on top of the kitchen counters cleaning above the cabinets. I proposed to her right then and there.

fullsizeoutput_f71

Next, I plan to invest in a Honey I Shrunk the Kids device so I can shrink her and keep her in my pocket.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, quartered
  • 5-6 portobello mushrooms, quartered
  • 2 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 2 carrots or 8 baby ones, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1/2 cup of red wine
  • 1 package of papparedelle
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange onion + portobello + carrots + celery on a  parchment paper lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, tossing once
  • Once cooled, process in food processor until a paste-like consistency + a lil chunky
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cremini mushrooms, cook 6-8 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + red wine, cook, stirring constantly for a minute
  • Add veggie paste + red pepper + S+P, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, reserving 1 1/2 cups of cooking liquid
  • Add noodles straight to the ragu pan + 1/2 cup of liquid, tossing + cooking for a minute
  • Add another 1/2 cup, tossing until sauce starts to thin
  • Add another 1/2 cup if necessary to thin the sauce
  • Add some S+P + red pepper if desired
  • Serve warm

 

 

Adapted from here!

 

 

Spaghetti Squash with Veggies + Tomato Sauce

88BB5AFA-DEA9-457E-8B08-A1312DA6260B

WHAT A WEEK AND A HALF, I TELL YOU!

D4B85437-278A-47BC-AF12-F150204E2991

Your girl has been plumb RUNNING. Not like the exercising kind, though. Quite the opposite, in fact.

18F29B6E-C0F5-4938-AC6F-F1BD4404BEE7

My BFF came to visit for a few days. Then I went home to Memphis for a week. When these two things happen, I lose all self control and morph into the gluttonous creature God intended.

BC274D4A-498E-4117-8225-02E173FCB2BE

For example, while out to dinner last Saturday before the Kacey Musgraves concert, I single handedly ate three baskets of chips with salsa. I really wish I was exaggerating. I was in actual pain the next day and resolved to never do that again. Then Monday rolls around and my daddy offers to take me to my favie Mexican restaurant in Memphis. What do I do? WORK on another two baskets of chips. Moral of this story: I LOVE CHIPS. & also I have this problem where I don’t stop eating when I’m full???? It’s not great. How does one just not overeat when there is tasty food in front of one? Like, as a rule, I don’t take home leftovers from restaurants. Not because I’m morally opposed, there are just literally 0 leftovers to take.

B6F33529-D600-4D16-863A-8BAF2058AD36

Now I’m home and trying to detox but my stomach is stretched out so lotssss of peanut butter is happening.

 

Time: 1.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 spaghetti squash, halved + seeds scooped out
  • 1 bunch of asparagus, trimmed + halved
  • 1 carrot, peeled thin with a vegetable peeler
  • 1 zucchini, cut into tiny bits
  • 4 tomatoes off the vine, cut into chunks
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of basil, chiffonaded
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Toasted pumpkin seeds, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Drizzle spaghetti squash insides with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet, cut side down + stab with a fork a couple times
  • Roast for 40 minutes
  • Meanwhile, bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add asparagus + cook 3 minutes, pour into a colander + rinse with cold water
  • Chop roughly into tiny bits
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add zucchini + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add asparagus + carrot + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Remove veggies from the pan
  • Add tomatoes to a food processor + process until smooth
  • Heat remaining olive oil to the skillet over medium heat
  • Add garlic, cook 1 minute
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, bring to a boil, reduce heat + let simmer for about 20 minutes, if a lil thin, add some coconut milk
  • Add basil + crushed red pepper
  • To serve, place some spaghetti squash noodles in a bowl + top with veggies + sauce + pumpkin seeds
  • Gently mix up all of the goodness + use your fork to gingerly twirl the noodles like you’re in an Olive Garden commercial + slurp them down like you’re also at an Olive Garden

Vegan Carbonara

fullsizeoutput_aa1

Why errbody be hating on sweet baby Archie’s name?

fullsizeoutput_a87

Do I hope he turns out to be a redheaded high school star athlete and also the lead singer of a self-named band with all of his pals? Absolutely.

fullsizeoutput_a90

Personally, I live for old people names. The older the better. Like, Mildred? INTO IT.

fullsizeoutput_a92

Like, I’m sorry. They can’t name him Joe. This baby was in People magazine while in utero more times than I will be in all of my life. Like, he isn’t a commoner. He needs a name that makes a statement. I also love the family initials are HAM now. V royal. What must it be like for sweet little Megan? It would have been dope if she really broke from tradition and refused to do that archaic walk-out 2 hours after birth in full hair, makeup and heels. Like, Meg, we know you have a diaper on under that dress. We want you to rest. We all understand. They’d have to roll me out on a gurney. I’d do my princess wave horizontally.

fullsizeoutput_aa2

This has infected me so much I dreamt I named a child Roger.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of spaghetti
  • 1-1.5 cups of shiitake mushrooms, sliced
  • 1 package of firm tofu, water drained from tofu
  • 1/2 cup of unflavored dairy free milk
  • 1/2 cup of nutritional yeast
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1 tbsp. of tahini
  • 1 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Parsley, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine shiitake + smoked paprika + S+P
  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add mushrooms, cook 5-6 minutes
  • In a food processor, combine tofu + milk + nutritional yeast + lemon juice + tahini + turmeric + S+P, process until smooth
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al denta
  • Add sauce to drained pasta pot, cook for 2-3 minutes
  • Add pasta + mushrooms into the pot, coat + warm for another minute, add some S+P, to taste
  • Serve warm with parsley

 

Adapted from here!