Spaghetti Squash with Veggies + Tomato Sauce

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WHAT A WEEK AND A HALF, I TELL YOU!

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Your girl has been plumb RUNNING. Not like the exercising kind, though. Quite the opposite, in fact.

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My BFF came to visit for a few days. Then I went home to Memphis for a week. When these two things happen, I lose all self control and morph into the gluttonous creature God intended.

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For example, while out to dinner last Saturday before the Kacey Musgraves concert, I single handedly ate three baskets of chips with salsa. I really wish I was exaggerating. I was in actual pain the next day and resolved to never do that again. Then Monday rolls around and my daddy offers to take me to my favie Mexican restaurant in Memphis. What do I do? WORK on another two baskets of chips. Moral of this story: I LOVE CHIPS. & also I have this problem where I don’t stop eating when I’m full???? It’s not great. How does one just not overeat when there is tasty food in front of one? Like, as a rule, I don’t take home leftovers from restaurants. Not because I’m morally opposed, there are just literally 0 leftovers to take.

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Now I’m home and trying to detox but my stomach is stretched out so lotssss of peanut butter is happening.

 

Time: 1.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 1 spaghetti squash, halved + seeds scooped out
  • 1 bunch of asparagus, trimmed + halved
  • 1 carrot, peeled thin with a vegetable peeler
  • 1 zucchini, cut into tiny bits
  • 4 tomatoes off the vine, cut into chunks
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of basil, chiffonaded
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Toasted pumpkin seeds, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Drizzle spaghetti squash insides with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet, cut side down + stab with a fork a couple times
  • Roast for 40 minutes
  • Meanwhile, bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add asparagus + cook 3 minutes, pour into a colander + rinse with cold water
  • Chop roughly into tiny bits
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add zucchini + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add asparagus + carrot + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Remove veggies from the pan
  • Add tomatoes to a food processor + process until smooth
  • Heat remaining olive oil to the skillet over medium heat
  • Add garlic, cook 1 minute
  • Add tomatoes + S+P, bring to a boil, reduce heat + let simmer for about 20 minutes, if a lil thin, add some coconut milk
  • Add basil + crushed red pepper
  • To serve, place some spaghetti squash noodles in a bowl + top with veggies + sauce + pumpkin seeds
  • Gently mix up all of the goodness + use your fork to gingerly twirl the noodles like you’re in an Olive Garden commercial + slurp them down like you’re also at an Olive Garden

Vegan Carbonara

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Why errbody be hating on sweet baby Archie’s name?

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Do I hope he turns out to be a redheaded high school star athlete and also the lead singer of a self-named band with all of his pals? Absolutely.

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Personally, I live for old people names. The older the better. Like, Mildred? INTO IT.

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Like, I’m sorry. They can’t name him Joe. This baby was in People magazine while in utero more times than I will be in all of my life. Like, he isn’t a commoner. He needs a name that makes a statement. I also love the family initials are HAM now. V royal. What must it be like for sweet little Megan? It would have been dope if she really broke from tradition and refused to do that archaic walk-out 2 hours after birth in full hair, makeup and heels. Like, Meg, we know you have a diaper on under that dress. We want you to rest. We all understand. They’d have to roll me out on a gurney. I’d do my princess wave horizontally.

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This has infected me so much I dreamt I named a child Roger.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of spaghetti
  • 1-1.5 cups of shiitake mushrooms, sliced
  • 1 package of firm tofu, water drained from tofu
  • 1/2 cup of unflavored dairy free milk
  • 1/2 cup of nutritional yeast
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1 tbsp. of tahini
  • 1 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Parsley, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine shiitake + smoked paprika + S+P
  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add mushrooms, cook 5-6 minutes
  • In a food processor, combine tofu + milk + nutritional yeast + lemon juice + tahini + turmeric + S+P, process until smooth
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al denta
  • Add sauce to drained pasta pot, cook for 2-3 minutes
  • Add pasta + mushrooms into the pot, coat + warm for another minute, add some S+P, to taste
  • Serve warm with parsley

 

Adapted from here!

 

Weeknight Pasta

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Y’all know who Gomer Pyle is?

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Not the lovable simpleton from Andy Griffith, I mean the Full Metal Jacket one.

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Well, I have the esteemed privilege of waking up next to him each morning.

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You see, Garrett had to shave his head for work. That perfectly sculpted head of lettuce he’s worked on for the last 5 years is no more. As the locks fell to the ground, so too did my tears. For in its place, stands the biggest bald head you ever did see. I obviously love him not matter how he looks, but it’s just a little shocking. He quickly came around a corner the other day and I screamed. The truth is, we met and fell in love when he was bald so I should really look at this as an opportunity to reminisce on the early years of Garrett and Rachel. Like when I introduced Garr to my father whose first response was, “The man looks like Gomer Pyle.”

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And that was the moment I knew he was the one.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of your favorite pasta
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cherry or grape tomatoes, rinsed + halved
  • 1/4 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of capers
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Cook pasta to al dente, drain
  • Meanwhile heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cannellini beans + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes,
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add cherry tomatoes + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes until starting to soften slightly
  • Add sundried tomatoes + capers, cook another 2 minutes
  • Turn heat down, add spinach + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook down about 1-2 minutes
  • Add pasta + 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water, toss + cook 2-3 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Put on sweats + a face mask + plop your behind down on favie spot on the couch + devour two bowls of pasta before retiring to your chambers by 8pm