Grilled Squash Pitas

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I am a potato.

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That’s the only explanation for my actions.

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Friday night, I was working on a personal project and wanted something mindless on in the background so I didn’t have to pay much attention.

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Usually, this is when I go to ole faithful, The Office, but for WHATEVER reason I was feeling like something different. Big mistake. I landed on whatever season of Married at First Sight is out on Netflix. Now, I’ve seen the first season of this and loved it, but I guess just haven’t had the channel it comes on since. The premise is…exactly what it sounds like. Four couples legit get married at first sight and have 8 weeks to try and make it work before they decide to get a divorce or stay together. BRILLIANT television. Anyways, I settle in and get back to work. I am slick HOOKED. I stayed up until AFTER 9pm (unheard of) to finish an episode and thought of nothing all night except getting back to my couch so I could watch. So, naturally, I spent Saturday and Sunday watching all 16 hour long episodes……I’m not proud of my choices.

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However, I AM proud that I also got Garrett hooked and invested in all of the couples. So much so when he had to go into work Sunday, he was like, “Are you really going to watch without me?” Yes, yes, I am.

 

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4 pitas

Ingredients:

  • 3 yellow squash, sliced thin lengthwise
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 english cucumber, half sliced thin + other half shredded using a cheese grater
  • Arugula, for serving
  • 1 cup of dairy free, plain yogurt – I use an almond milk variety
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 tsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2-3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3-4 pitas, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine yogurt + shredded cucumber + lemon juice + garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, set in the refrigerator until ready to serve
  • Meanwhile, preheat a grill
  • Arrange your squash flat + drizzle with remaining olive oil + some S+P
  • Grill squash for 3-4 minutes on each side until tender
  • Warm pita on grill, too
  • To serve, spread tzatziki on pita+ top with squash + cucumber slices + tomatoes + arugula
  • Fold + pretend your pie hole is a train station + its the pita train’s next stop

 

Inspired by this!

Autumn Harvest Salad

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My husband is going off the grid.

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He’s going underground, living on the lam, getting out of dodge!

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Also, he’s just deleting social media.

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Much to my chagrin, he’s slowly but surely deleting all his accounts. He claims it’s terribly addicting and bad for our mental health or something?? Idk. What I do know is that it’s downright selfish! He’s just not thinking about me and Topanga and all of the cute photos he, exclusively, has captured over the years! If Topanga had thumbs and could manage her own accounts, this would be a lil less of an issue, but alas. What, we’re just going to sacrifice all of our treasured pix to the internet Gods? Our memories scattered to the wind?? (Name that movie) I just can’t stand by and let this happen. He’s putting the millennial good name to shame!

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It also means I’m going to lose a follower and that’s simply not good for MY mental health.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 acorn squash, tops trimmed off + cut into rounds
  • 1 head of purple cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 3 beets, peeled + tops trimmed off
  • 2 parsnips, sliced in lil rounds
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • Spinach, for serving
  • 2 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place squash rounds + parsnips on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Place cauliflower on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Place chickpeas + shallots on another lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Wrap each beet in its owl lil piece of foul + drizzle each with 1 tbsp. olive oil + S+P, place on another baking sheet
  • Roast all your veggies for 15 minutes, toss (no need to toss beets obvio) , cook chickpeas another 5-7, cauliflower + squash another 10-15, until browned to your desire + beets another 15 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine apple cider vinegar + remaining olive oil + dijon mustard + garlic in a lil bowl
  • To serve, top spinach with all your roasted veggies + drizzle with your dressing
  • Light all your pumpkin waffle flavored candles + smash face down onto plate, rubbing throughly in all veggies

 

Vegan Kale + Squash Pesto Pizza

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I’m working on an exposé.

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About the people we become in airports.

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This is going to be hard-hitting journalism, people.

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A taste of the full piece: some of us become germaphobes and wipe down our armrests and tray tables with Clorox wipes (this is what I strive to be). Some of us put on suits and compare diamond elite status and frequent flyer miles with one another. Some actually walk through the airport in heels and, while we look amazing doing this, our pinky toes temporarily fall off of our feet (also strive to this because pain is beauty). Occasionally, we roll out of bed and rock the latest sleepy pant fashion and pretend we do not have a care in the world. Sometimes we become complainers and comment on everything from the refreshment selection to the safety precaution presentation the airlines make to KEEP US ALIVE AS WE FLY THROUGH SPACE.

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My favorite, though, are those who become shoe-taker-offers. How bold!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

  • 1 whole wheat pizza dough (me gusta Trader Joe’s)
  • 1 bunch of kale, washed + removed from the stem + chopped
  • 1 zucchini, sliced thin
  • 1 yellow squash, sliced thin
  • 2 cups of fresh basil
  • 1/4 cup of walnuts
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp. of onion powder
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 300 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine basil + walnuts + garlic + lemon juice + 1/2 the nutritional yeast + some S+P, process on low + drizzle in 2 tbsp. olive oil + some water to thin it
  • In a bowl, combine kale + 1 tbsp. of olive oil, massage well
  • Toss remaining nutritional yeast + garlic powder + onion powder + chili powder + S+P into the kale bowl
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet, bake for 10 minutes, toss + bake another 10, remove + set aside
  • Up the heat to 350
  • Arrange zucchini + squash on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + S+P, roast for 15 minutes
  • Stretch yo dough, spread lots of pesto + top with roasted squash
  • Bake for 8 minutes
  • Top with kale chips + serve warm
  • Fold pizza in half like a taco to double the amount you can cram in your piehole at once