Sweet + Spicy Brussels Sprouts Tacos

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I just feel really seen.

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Like, the people I surround myself with really just get me and accept me for who I am.

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As confirmed at my BFF Christmas party during our traditional round of Secret Santa when I opened the most Rachel gift I ever could have dreamed of.

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A hot pink karaoke microphone. Bazinga! Now that’s a thoughtful gift, I tell you. I’m not sure how I made it 27 years without one already. It’s just so daggum handy. We were watching music videos all evening and I was able to sing into my new microphone at a higher volume than my peers thereby drowning out their voices and letting me hear myself better. It obviously has bluetooth so I can play music through it and sing along to my favorite artists or, as intended, to instrumental versions of hits so I can really shine. For some reason, I don’t sound as good on Rehab when dueting with Amy Winehouse. It was also really useful on Christmas Eve when my family played this game where you had to say stupid phrases in equally stupid accents. The echo effect on the mic proved most helpful.

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If your Christmas was half as pleasant as mine, you, my friend, are a lucky lil kitten.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, ends trimmed + brussels halved
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1/2 small red cabbage, sliced thin
  • 1 can of vegan refried beans
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Tortillas, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + hot sauce + some S+P
  • Roast 15 minutes, remove + drizzle with agave, roast another 10-15 until crisp to your desire, remove
  • Meanwhile, heat beans in a lil pot
  • To serve, spread a couple of warm tortillas with some refried beans + fill with brussels sprouts + red onion + cabbage + top with cilantro + avocado + drizzle with lime juice
  • Form taco boat with hand + sail these bad boys straight into hole in your face

Chickpea Fajitas

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I don’t know how old I am.

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Without, like, REALLLLLLYYYYY thinking about it.

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When asked, I answer with a number anywhere from 19-32.

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It really depends on my mental state that day, I suppose. Like, if I’m feeling super carefree and like the world is my oyster, I instinctively say, “I’m 23!” If I’m acting mature (pronounced with a soft ‘u’) and like I have literally everything figured out, my go-to is, “Ahh, yes, I’m 30.” Though my actual age is 26, I literally NEVER get the age question right on the first try. Some days I’m like, I was literally 18 years old and wearing halter tops and going to frat parties yesterday. Other days I’m all, kids these days going to bars, ordering vodka sodas and staying out until 11 pm – what hooligans!

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There’s a word for people like me – delusional.

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 2 cans of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 red pepper, sliced
  • 1 yellow pepper, sliced
  • 1 green pepper, sliced
  • 1 onion, sliced
  • 1 bunch of swiss chard, stems removed + chopped
  • 1 lime
  • 1/4 cup of olive oil
  • 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoke paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • Tortillas, for serving
  • Brown rice, for serving
  • Refried beans, for serving
  • Lime wedges, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving

 

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine 1/2 of the olive oil + all of the garlic + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + juice of 1/2 a lime + S+P
  • Add chickpeas + coat
  • Heat 1/2 the remaining olive oil in a cast iron skillet over medium heat
  • Add chickpeas + cook for 6-8 minutes until cooked + crispy, remove
  • Heat the rest of the olive oil + add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add peppers + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add chard + S+P, cook another minute
  • Add chickpeas, cook another minute
  • Serve warm with tortillas + lime wedges + brown rice + refried beans + cilantro
  • Be like me + mix literally all of the ingredients together + show bowl to friends who don’t like their foods to touch + watch them scream

Taco Pizza

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Fitbits are equal parts motivating and gut-wrenching.

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I got one for Christmas in an attempt to be mindful of my activity (or lack thereof).

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Turns out my daily yoga session is only like 8 steps.

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What’s a girl gotta do to get her 10,000 steps?! I don’t run and it rains here. I’m meant to be indoors. I’ve really been trying to think outside of the box, though. Cleaning is actually a nice way to get some steps. My baseboards are shined up like pennies! I’ve also been practicing old dance moves. Turns out I’m still pretty terrible. I am, however, quite good at reading. Instead of cozying up with a good read, I just walk and read. All around the house. Garrett is moderately upset with this new hobby because, apparently, it’s distracting when I walk in front of him during his evening TV time.

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I think “Destined to be Sedentary” will be a chapter in my memoir.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2 (or 1 if you’re me)

Ingredients:

  • 1 whole wheat crust
  • 1 package of soyrizo
  • 1 can of beans
  • 1 can of corn, drained
  • 1 jalapeno, diced + more for topping
  • 1 roma tomato, diced
  • 1 cup of butter lettuce, shredded
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 of an avocado, chopped
  • Tortilla chips
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Prep dough according to package directions
  • Preheat oven to 450
  • Heat olive oil in a cast iron kitchen over medium heat
  • Add soyrizo, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add jalapeno + corn, cook another 2-3 minutes, set aside
  • Meanwhile, add beans + juice to a small pot over low-medium heat
  • Add cumin + chili powder + S+P, cook 6-7 minutes
  • Spread beans on crust
  • Top with soyrizo mix
  • Bake 10 minutes
  • Top with lettuce + tomatoes + avocado + crumbled tortilla chips + cilantro
  • Serve hot
  • Fold pizza slice into shape of taco for some real Shutter Island business