
Working from home has afforded me the opportunity to really get to know my neighbors.

From afar. I’ve never introduced myself to any of them – far too shy and they’d all hate me, I’m sure.

So I was really happy for my neighbor when she got a new car last week. What an exciting time!

A couple of days later I noticed the car was a different color. I sat on this for a while and thought: A) they painted it B) they traded it in for a different color C) I’m out of my mind and it was always light gray not dark gray. Finally, I realize I haven’t seen the husband’s car in a while. Interesting. What a mystery. Until I look out the window one morning, and there in the driveway sit two, IDENTICAL, brand new cars – one light gray, one dark gray. They got matching cars! Within days of each other!!! I’m not judging here, I’ve just never seen this before! A couple of additional theories: A) Their love is on another level & they thoroughly enjoy matching B) They got a 2-for-1 deal 3) They are doomsday preppers and it’s more economical to stock up on identical car parts.

Moral of the story: I need a life.
Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6
Ingredients:
Tots-
- 1 head of cauliflower, cleaned + chopped into florets
- 1 cup of panko breadcrumbs
- 1/2 a yellow onion, chopped
- 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
- 2 tbsp. of ground flaxseed meal
- 2 tbsp. of cilantro
- 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
- S+P, to taste
- Vegan butter, for coating your baking sheet
Chili-
- 1 yellow onion, diced
- 1 jalapeno, diced
- 1 red bell pepper, diced
- 1 cup of cooked lentils
- 1 cup of cooked red beans
- 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
- 1 tbsp. of chili powder
- 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
- 1 tsp. of cumin
- 1 tsp. of oregano
- 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
- 1 can of diced tomatoes
- 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
- 2 tsp. of apple cider vinegar
- 2 tbsp. of sriracha
- 1 tbsp. of olive oil
- S+P, to taste
Cheese-
- 1/4 cup of cashews, soaked in water overnight + rinsed before using
- 1 russet potato, chopped
- 1 carrot, chopped
- 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
- Juice of 1/2 a lemon
- 1/2 tsp. of white wine vinegar
- 1 tbsp. of sriracha
- 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
- 2 tbsp. of olive oil
- 1/4 cup of water
- S+P, to taste
Toppings-
How to:
- To make the cheese, add potato + carrot to a pot + cover with water
- Bring to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes
- Add the drained potato + carrot + all other cheese ingredients to a food processor
- Combine until smooth + drizzleable (new word), set aside
- Now, preheat oven to 400 degrees + grease baking sheet with vegan butter
- Add cauliflower to a food processor, pulse until riced
- Add remaining tot ingredients (except the butter), + pulse until all combined
- Scoop out a lil with a cookie scoop + form into tots, arrange on baking sheet
- Bake these lil guys for 10 minutes, turn over + bake another 10 minutes
- While tots bake, make your chili!
- Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
- Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
- Add garlic, cook another minute
- Add jalapeno + red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
- Add chili powder + smoked paprika + cumin + oregano + crushed red pepper + S+P
- Add diced tomatoes + bring to a simmer
- Add tomato paste + lentils + red beans, smash with the back of a fork
- Add vinegar + sriracha, cook another 10 minutes
- To serve, arrange your tots in a dish + top with chili + cheese + more tots + top with cilantro + tomatoes
- Pretend you are at a drive-in wearing your sweatpants + listening to some early 2000’s top hits while stuffing your face with this
Chili + cheese from Oh She Glows! Tots adapted from here!
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