Miso Veggie Noodles

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Why must I be so incredibly thoughtful?

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It’s really throwing a giant wrench smackdab in the middle of my bank account.

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It’s been my new year’s resolution every year since I can remember that I’m going to be more thoughtful. No longer will I yell “My presence is your present!” at my family when it’s my turn to pass out Christmas gifts.

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So this Christmas, I’ve done something I’ve never done before – purchased real gifts! Not just grab a bottle of wine on the way to the party or craft a last minute coupon book like a 7-year-old, I actually, like, went to stores and perused shelves for things I thought my humans might enjoy. There’s a lot of stuff out there when you aren’t totally self-centered and a major cheap-o! Soon, though, it became an addiction. If I left a store empty handed, I would curse the proprietor for not having equal parts useful and humorous gift options at a sensible price. I felt so defeated the other day after not checking everything off my list, I pouted and cried the rest of the evening.

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I’ve really mastered the “reason for the season” thing.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 2 zucchini, spiralized
  • 2 beets, peeled + spiralized or shredded
  • 1 cup of matchstick carrots or 2 carrots, peeled + shreeded
  • 1 cup of snap peas
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of sesame miso
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh ginger, minced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 2 tsp. of toasted sesame oil
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine half of the miso + half the ginger + juice of 1/2 the lime + half the soy sauce + half the rice vinegar + half the toasted sesame oil + 1/4 cup of the olive oil, whisk well
  • Add tempeh to the dressing + coat, marinate 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, mix up the other half of the dressing ingredients, set aside
  • On a lined baking sheet, spread chickpeas into an even layer
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, bake 20-25 minutes, tossing once in the middle of cooking
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add marinated tempeh, cook for 6-8 minutes, browning on all sides
  • Remove from pan + add snap peas, cook 3-4 minutes, remove
  • To serve, combine all veggie noodles in a bowl with tempeh + chickpeas + snap peas + cilantro + toss with dressing
  • Crunch + slurp on your noodles while simultaneously rocking around your Christmas tree

 

Dressing adapted from here!

Tempeh Chili

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I may or may not be a psychopath.

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At least according to my adoring husband.

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I don’t exhibit the normal characteristics of a psychopath, but apparently this one habit of mine is so abhorrent it automatically classifies me as such.

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I eat my oatmeal plain. No cinnamon or brown sugar, certainly no raisins. I flirt with blueberries occasionally, but even they alter the experience. I do add some nuts when I’m eating the complimentary breakfast at the Hampton Inns, just to not scare the other patrons. It is the true highlight of my day. Nothing brings me more satisfaction than sitting down at my dining table with a piping hot bowl of stick to your ribs plain as the day is long oatmeal. I’m sorry, I can’t help that oats are pure in nature and need no refining, but apparently this is not normal? Garrett is literally so appalled by this, he tells everyone he comes in contact with that he’s married to a psychopath who eats her oatmeal plain. He’s obviously so in love.

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Tbh I’ve been called worse, so I’m just rolling with it.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of green chiles
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 can of pinto beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 can of hominy, drained
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of chipotle chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a large stock pot over medium heat
  • Add onion, cook 3 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Crumble in tempeh, cook for 5-6 minutes or until starts to slightly brown
  • Add jalapeno + red pepper + some S+P, cook for 2-3 minutes
  • Add 1-2 cups of water (depending on how brothy you like your ish) + tomatoes + chiles + beans + hominy + chipotle chili powder + cumin + crushed red pepper + S+P
  • Bring to a boil, reduce heat, simmer for 30-40 minutes
  • Serve hot with cilantro + avocado
  • Locate giant straw + plop into bowl + slurp down chili, accelerating the nutrients entering your bloodstream

Balsamic Veggie Stacks

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Apparently I moved from Earthquakeville to Hurricaneland.

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I thought the Carolinas were supposed to be a calm little southern piece of the American pie filled with little suburbias and mini vans, but here I sit in the direct path of a ginormous storm with it’s eye (get it) set on trying to kill me!

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Honestly, I was not concerned about this until like 24 hours ago. I was like, k, so we’ll get some rain, kewlie.

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But errbody was wiggin’ out on the interwebs, so I ran to Walmart to get some bottled water. No joke, that place was an absolute zoo. Like, more so than your average Wally World. I park 83 miles away and roll my lil cart to the water aisle. I wish I could describe what I saw. Picture nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a bottle of water on the shelves. No water in the little mini fridges up by the registers. Nada! I would have bought that fancy artisanal water straight from the depths of the Alps, but it was ALL GONE. The sheer panic that consumed me in this moment was epic. I literally pushed the cart into a large display of cereals (I did not do this) and ran out of that Walmart to ransack every grocery store I could find. I did find some water and stocked up on junk food and cans of soup that the thought of eating cold only slightly churn my stomach.

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Also, I literally just had a preview of what the next few days will be like because our power went out for an hour while in the middle of cooking dinner so I ate pasta in a raw garlic sauce, yum.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 1 sweet potato, peeled + sliced about 1/2 inch thick
  • 1 package of tempeh, cut in lil cubes
  • 2 roma tomatoes, sliced about 1/4 inch thick
  • 1 red pepper, sliced
  • 1 green pepper, sliced
  • 1 zucchini, sliced in coins
  • 1 yellow squash, sliced in coins
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Basil, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar + garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Arrange sweet potatoes on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, rub on both sides, arrange in an eve, layer
  • Arrange peppers on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, arrange in an even layer
  • Arrange squash on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, arrange in an even layer
  • Bake all for 25 minutes, stirring all once in the middle of cook time
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh, cook for 6-8 minutes until crisp to your desire
  • Add remaining vinegar to a lil pot + reduce over low heat for about 4-5 minutes, until it thickens a bit
  • To serve, place a sweet potato on a place + top with tempeh + peppers + squash + basil + drizzle with some balsamic reduction, repeat with remaining veggies
  • Serve warm with avocado
  • Play rock, paper, scissors with sweetie + only select rock, smashing each veggie stack in the process