Kale Dolmas

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There’s a reason I didn’t go into the medical field.

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You might guess it’s because of the blood or guts or puke or just bodily functions in general.

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Those don’t really bother me tbh. I’m just a big, fat spaz.

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Due to some stellar medical issues, I have to take these shots. I was in the doctor’s office yesterday and my nurse showed me how to do my new shot and then asked me to demonstrate so she knew I wasn’t an idiot. My how she overestimated me. Not only am I an idiot, I am a dangerous idiot. I put the shot together just fine. I was taking it apart and putting the little plastic piece back on the needle when somehow the needle went sideways through the plastic and into my finger. It bled. I let out a minor profanity. My nurse was like, “Huh OK I have truly never seen that before.”

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What can I say, I like being the first at things.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 7-8 dolmas

Ingredients:

  • 1 bunch of lacinato kale leaves
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of tempeh, crumbled
  • 2 cups of brown rice, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of fresh dill
  • 2 tbsp. of parsley, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/2 cup of vegan, plain yogurt
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Add kale leaves a few at a time, cooking for 3-4 minutes
  • Remove + place on a kitchen towel + pat dry
  • In a bowl, combine yogurt + lemon juice + some S+P, set aside
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add tempeh, cook 6-7 minutes or until starting to brown
  • Add rice + parsley + dill + S+P, cook another 1-2 minutes
  • Turn off heat, add half of the yogurt mix
  • Place a kale leaf on a flat surface
  • Fill with a hefty scoop of the rice mix right in the middle
  • Fold like a hamburger first, then a hotdog (you know what I’m talking about), place seam side down on a plate
  • Serve with remaining yogurt sauce
  • Accidentally eat all of them in one sitting + watch your tummy balloon from all of the delectable rice kernels

 

Adapted from here!

Vegan Philly Cheesesteak Sammies

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It’s still over a month away yet here I sit stressed about Christmas.

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It’s not supposed to be this way. I should be focused on the birth of our Lord and Savior! The many blessings the year has brought me! The New Year’s resolutions I will certainly not keep!

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Instead I am left wrestling with answers to the dreaded question, “What do you want for Christmas?”

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To be left alone, honestly. Seriously, it’s so stressful coming up with random things I want others to purchase for me and then wrap and hold onto until 12/25. If I want something, I typically weight the pros and cons, research the best deals, find a coupon code, put it in my cart and then talk myself out of it. I like this process, I’m comfortable with it, it makes sense to me. Why organize a Christmas list? Let’s just spend time together and sing carols and string popcorn on trees like the olden days. But I am an acquiescent child. I put together a list, I checked it twice, I sent it it to my parents and husband. I thought I was really doing them a favor, too. Look, here are some ideas you unimaginative shoppers. Know what I get in return? “That’s a really long list.” K. I’m out.

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Garrett also said, “Wow, I started a list for you too and it has none of this stuff on it.” He knows me so well.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4 sandwiches

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced thin
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 green pepper, sliced thin
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce + 2 tbsp.
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 sweet potato, cubed
  • 1/4 cup of full-fat coconut milk
  • 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tbsp. of paprika
  • S+P, to taste
  • Crusty french bread, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine 1/4 cup of soy sauce + dijon + 1 tbsp. of garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add tempeh slices, coat in the soy sauce mix + set aside
  • Add sweet potato to a sauce pan + add water + bring to a boil
  • Lower heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain + let cool
  • Add sweet potato + remaining soy sauce + coconut milk + nutritional yeast + lemon juice + sriracha + 3 tbsp. of olive oil + garlic powder + S+P to a food processor + pulse until smooth, set aside
  • Heat a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + sauce it marinated in, cook for 6-7 minutes, until crisp + browned to your liking
  • Remove from the pan
  • Add remaining olive oil
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add green peppers, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add tempeh + paprika, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • To serve, place some tempeh mix into your crusty bread + top with cheese sauce

 

Adapted from here!

Zucchini Sammies

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A place I thrive is our nation’s capital.

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I spent the long weekend gallivanting around one of my top 3 fave cities and I feel energized and refreshed!

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If only the U.S. Army 10-Miler didn’t get in the way of my itinerary!

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Obvio I did not run the race, I’m not a masochist, but I did do an exceptionally good job of spectating and just generally being uber supportive of my athletic husband. To make the race, we had to catch the metro bright and early. Catching the DC metro is one of my top 5 favorite activities so this was invigorating for me, though I would have preferred not to be wearing athleisure at the time, but I digress. We ride the escalator down to our platform & it is packed like a can of sardines (a saying I don’t love). Stranger’s bodies are just pressed too closely together, it’s terrible. We squeeze our way in and watch the escalator as more bodies arrive. Eventually the escalator is overwhelmed & people are stuck & there is some mild trampling. It was all very dramatic. The train finally came and people were squeezing in so tight the doors barely closed. If I hadn’t been trying to act like a local who was appalled by the throngs of people who didn’t know how to act riding public transit, I would have absolutely had a panic attack.

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I was rewarded for my positive attitude with copious amounts of falafel and an evening at a piano bar singing Elton John and swaying in a dimly lit corner.

 

 

Time: Overnight marinating + 1 hour cooking | Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

  • 3 zucchini, halved lengthwise + pitted
  • 1 package of tempeh, cut in cubes
  • 1/2 cup of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 2 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp. + 1 tsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1/2 lb. of shiitake mushrooms, roughly chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic powder
  • 1 tomato off the vine, sliced thin
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 avocado, mashed
  • 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1/4 cup + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine 1/4 cup of soy sauce + 1 tbsp. of lemon juice + 1 tbsp. of garlic + 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika + chile powder
  • Place zucchini halves in a big sealable bag + pour in soy sauce mix
  • Refrigerate overnight
  • In the morning, combine remaining soy sauce + dijon +  1 tbsp. of garlic in a lil bowl
  • Add tempeh + let marinate for a few
  • Meanwhile, combine mushrooms + garlic powder + remaining smoked paprika in a large bowl
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + cook for 6-7 minutes or until starting to crisp
  • Add mushrooms, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine balsamic + agave + 1 tsp. of garlic + olive oil + S+P in a lil bowl’
  • To serve, spread some avocado inside one of each of the zucchini halves + top with S+P, top with tempeh/mushroom mix + tomatoes + onion + drizzle with balsamic + top with other zucchini half
  • Please try to pick up one of these bad boys + actually eat it like a sammie + see how much food you get all over your face