Weeknight Pasta

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Y’all know who Gomer Pyle is?

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Not the lovable simpleton from Andy Griffith, I mean the Full Metal Jacket one.

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Well, I have the esteemed privilege of waking up next to him each morning.

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You see, Garrett had to shave his head for work. That perfectly sculpted head of lettuce he’s worked on for the last 5 years is no more. As the locks fell to the ground, so too did my tears. For in its place, stands the biggest bald head you ever did see. I obviously love him not matter how he looks, but it’s just a little shocking. He quickly came around a corner the other day and I screamed. The truth is, we met and fell in love when he was bald so I should really look at this as an opportunity to reminisce on the early years of Garrett and Rachel. Like when I introduced Garr to my father whose first response was, “The man looks like Gomer Pyle.”

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And that was the moment I knew he was the one.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of your favorite pasta
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cherry or grape tomatoes, rinsed + halved
  • 1/4 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of capers
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Cook pasta to al dente, drain
  • Meanwhile heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cannellini beans + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes,
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add cherry tomatoes + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes until starting to soften slightly
  • Add sundried tomatoes + capers, cook another 2 minutes
  • Turn heat down, add spinach + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook down about 1-2 minutes
  • Add pasta + 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water, toss + cook 2-3 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Put on sweats + a face mask + plop your behind down on favie spot on the couch + devour two bowls of pasta before retiring to your chambers by 8pm

Grilled Veggie Clubs

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I am equal parts intrigued and wigged out by these DNA tests we all keep doing.

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Like, I spit in a tube and you all found 83 people that could be my third cousins. I’m just not understanding how this is possible.

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What does one use as an opening line to someone that may or not be related to you based on saliva compatibility alone?

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It is pretty interesting to finally know from where my peeps hail. No surprising results. I’m mostly English with some French and Norwegian mixed in. A splash of Irish/Scottish with even less German. However, I’m really holding tight to my 2% Greek and 1% Middle Eastern. Like, I will absolutely be claiming those. The best is I legit grew up thinking I was like 75% Italian and have told everyone that’s my background for as long as I can remember. Nope nada, can’t even fake it up in a Carrabba’s Italian Grill (no hate, their spaghetti is dope).

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Now I need to know – what do they do with my spit once they’re done testing it?¿

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 sammies

Ingredients:

  • 1 eggplant, peeled + sliced thin into rounds
  • 1 zucchini, sliced length-wise, thin
  • 1 squash, sliced length-wise, thin
  • 1 english cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1-2 roma tomatoes, sliced thin
  • 1 red pepper, roasted or 1/2 cup of store-bought roasted red peppers
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of spinach
  • 12 slices of toasted bread (ezekiel bread used here)
  • 1/4 cup stone-ground mustard
  • 1/2 cup of hummus
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Salt your eggplant rounds + place in a strainer, let water release for about 20-25 minutes, pat dry
  • Heat your grill or grill pan over medium heat + spray with cooking spray
  • Sprinkle eggplant + zucchini + squash with S+P, grill for 3-4 minutes on each side, flipping once
  • To assemble, spread some hummus on a slice of bread + top with a slice of eggplant + some zucchini + some squash + roasted red peppers
  • Spread mustard on both sides of another piece of bread + place on top
  • Add cucumbers + tomato + avocado + spinach
  • Spread some hummus on another slice of bread + place that on top, hummus down
  • Repeat with remaining sammies
  • Stick some toothpicks in the four corners of the sammies
  • Cut diagonally into fourths, making sure a toothpick remains in each fourth
  • Serve room temp or warm
  • Unhinge jaw + wrap mouth around this bad boy + enjoy all the crunchy fresh goodness that is about to happen up in there

Black-Eyed Pea Salad

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Do you ever have those times in life when so much is happening at once and if you don’t laugh at all of the things going wrong you will actually crumple into a ball and completely lose your mind?

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Hi, it me.

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Ya girl has been in and out of the hospital over the last two weeks with appointments and tests and a big barrel of melodrama. All is fine but I can say with great confidence which hospital restrooms reign supreme – first floor second set on the left – and there is popcorn on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

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The off-brand maraschino cherry on top of my radical few weeks: On the way to my most recent appointment, I’m cruising along, listening to some good tuneage, daydreaming about my to-do list when BAH BOOM pot hole. I hit that thing so hard it about knocked me into a tree. I’m swerving trying to get my act together when I hear this heinous sound. I pull over just to catch my breath and look at the car. What do ya know? I successfully popped a tire! Being the modern woman I am, I have always MEANT to learn how to change my own tire, but for some reason, kept finding 8 million better things to do with my time. So there I sat. Waiting for my knight in overalls to show up in his steed of a pickup truck.

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I still can’t decide if I’m uber grateful or disappointed not one person stopped and offered to help. Am I that off putting even from afar?

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of uncooked black eyed peas (soaked overnight)
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 1 serrano pepper, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of flax milk (or other non-dairy milk)
  • 2 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 chipotles in adobo + 1 tbsp. of the adobo sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 lime
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Rinse soaked beans + add to a pot
  • Fill with water + bring to a boil, cook for 25-30 minutes
  • In a large bowl, combine onion + peppers + tomatoes + cilantro + S+P, set aside
  • Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine milk + lemon juice + apple cider vinegar + agave + garlic + chipotles + adobo sauce + olive oil + cumin + a lil S+P, process until smooth + runny like a dressing
  • Drain peas + add to veggie bowl + top with dressing (or let peeps serve themselves) + squeeze lime juice over
  • Serve warm or cold, whatever your prerogative baby
  • Use mouth as vacuum to suck all of this up