Blueberry Swirl Bread

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I have…run out of things to talk about….

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I usually have a funny or at least borderline entertaining anecdote to share after the weekend.

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But when you do the same thing four weekends in a row, it all starts to blur.

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I finished a puzzle. We watched Ozark. I’m reading a book. Sometimes I nap. It’s getting wild up in here, is what I’m trying to say. I really just feel like a worthless bump on a leg, quite honestly. I’d prefer to feel a little more useful while in quarantine but I have no skills. I can’t sew masks for hospital workers, I can’t provide any services to those in need. What am I good for, seriously? Do you all know of any way I can contribute to society from the comforts of my home? I need to do SOMETHING.

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I can’t keep making bread, I’m going to actually explode.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + baking) | Serves: 1 loaf

Ingredients:

  • 2/3 cup of plain almond milk
  • 6 3/4 tsp. of active dry yeast
  • 1/4 cup of coconut sugar
  • 3 cups of all purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp. of S
  • 5 tbsp. of vegan butter, softened
  • 1/2 cup of blueberry jam

How to:

  • Warm the milk in a sauce pan to 98.6-113 degrees
  • Turn off heat, stir in yeast + 1 tbsp. of sugar, let activate for 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine flour + remaining sugar + S in a bowl
  • Stir in yeast mixture + softened butter
  • Mix with your hands until combined + knead for 8-10 minutes or until a dough forms
  • Place dough in a large greased bowl, cover with a dish towel + let rise for an hour
  • Place on a lightly floured surface + knead for a while longer until air is out
  • Roll out the dough to a rectangle
  • Spread with blueberry jam
  • Roll up the dough taco style (long ways)
  • Transfer to a greased baking dish
  • Obvio, it won’t fit like this, so just smash it all around, folding the dough in on top of itself, this is gonna give you your swirls
  • Cover with a dish towel + let rest another 45 minutes
  • Meanwhile, preheat oven to 355
  • Brush loaf with a lil more milk
  • Bake for 40 minutes
  • Let cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to cool more
  • Serve warm or room temp
  • Slather a slice with a lil vegan butter + slap on face, repeat with remaining slices until totally covered in bread

 

Adapted from here!

Chickpea Greek Salad

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It’s weird, like, I have all the time in the world right now.

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Yet less motivation than ever to make healthy choices.

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For a minute there, I was a real big workout guy. Lifting weights and exercising hardcore everyday. All before my work day began!

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Now my lazy behind is snoozing until 7. I’m lucky if I get up, ride the lil stationary bike and go for a quick walk around the ‘hood. I’m just really taking this time of rest to a new level. Let’s not get started on diet, either. I’ve basically dubbed myself the quarantine snack queen. I found a box of graham crackers in the back of the pantry and just destroyed them. I’m a bottomless trash panda. I think I’m letting myself go because I really don’t plan to interact with humans or take photos for the foreseeable future? It’s kind of nice not to be totally consumed with my appearance for a change, though! Or just my general health and wellness.

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I’m gonna fleek when my motivation returns right smack dab in the middle of bikini season.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, rinsed + drained + halved
  • 1 english cucumber, rinsed + quartered
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 yellow pepper, chopped
  • 1 red pepper, chopped
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, halved
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 tsp. of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet + roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Remove + sprinkle with S+P
  • Meanwhile, combine all veggies in a bowl + S+P
  • Stir in chickpeas
  • Meanwhile, combine olive oil + lemon juice + garlic + S+P
  • Drizzle over salad
  • Serve chilled
  • Use any leftovers as toppings on a pizza like a daggum PRO

 

Adapted from here!

Cauliflower + Pineapple Quesadillas

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I think Garrett may leave me.

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Things are getting tense.

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Garrett’s job is a little more flexible than mine, meaning he has a little more time during this quarantine than I do.

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Meaning, I MIGHT be asking him to do my usual chores for me. Sue me! At first, he offered to pitch in a little more. Then, I saw how good he was at household tasks and started making lil honey-do lists for him. He pouted and procrastinated, but eventually everything got done. Ya girl has somehow not folded laundry or scrubbed a dish this entire quarantine. Little blessings everywhere! But I feel like I’m starting to get too spoiled. Like, I might be acting like an ungrateful brat which is really off brand for me. I noticed it when I was working on a project today and without even batting an eye asked Garrett to refill my water and take out the trash immediately because the stench was annoying me.

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Self-isolating with me is fun!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5 quesadillas

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut into florets
  • 1/2 a pineapple, cut into cubes
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained + smashed
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 chipotle peppers in adobo
  • 2 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 5-6 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • 8-10 whole wheat flour tortillas
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, combine garlic + chipotle peppers + chili powder + smoked paprika + apple cider vinegar + 1/2 of the pineapple chunks +1/2 the lime juice, blend until smooth
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add cauliflower, cook another 12-15 minutes or until tender
  • Add remaining pineapple, cook for a minute
  • Lower heat, add sauce you made, cook for 10 minutes or until all of the stuff is coated nicely in your sauce
  • Meanwhile add 1/2 the lime juice to your bean smash + mix
  • Remove from pan + wipe clean
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in the skillet over medium
  • To assemble quesadilla, spread some bean smash on two tortillas + top one with cauliflower mix + cilantro + smush together with other bean mix tortilla
  • Slide into skillet + cook for 3-4 minutes on both sides, flipping carefully!
  • Repeat with extra oil in the pan if necessary
  • Serve warm with more cilantro
  • Stand up at your kitchen counter with your leg in a tree pose + just go to town on these bad boys

 

Adapted from here!