Chickpea Greek Salad

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It’s weird, like, I have all the time in the world right now.

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Yet less motivation than ever to make healthy choices.

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For a minute there, I was a real big workout guy. Lifting weights and exercising hardcore everyday. All before my work day began!

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Now my lazy behind is snoozing until 7. I’m lucky if I get up, ride the lil stationary bike and go for a quick walk around the ‘hood. I’m just really taking this time of rest to a new level. Let’s not get started on diet, either. I’ve basically dubbed myself the quarantine snack queen. I found a box of graham crackers in the back of the pantry and just destroyed them. I’m a bottomless trash panda. I think I’m letting myself go because I really don’t plan to interact with humans or take photos for the foreseeable future? It’s kind of nice not to be totally consumed with my appearance for a change, though! Or just my general health and wellness.

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I’m gonna fleek when my motivation returns right smack dab in the middle of bikini season.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 pint of cherry tomatoes, rinsed + drained + halved
  • 1 english cucumber, rinsed + quartered
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 yellow pepper, chopped
  • 1 red pepper, chopped
  • 1 green pepper, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of kalamata olives, halved
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 tsp. of garlic, minced
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet + roast for 25 minutes, tossing once
  • Remove + sprinkle with S+P
  • Meanwhile, combine all veggies in a bowl + S+P
  • Stir in chickpeas
  • Meanwhile, combine olive oil + lemon juice + garlic + S+P
  • Drizzle over salad
  • Serve chilled
  • Use any leftovers as toppings on a pizza like a daggum PRO

 

Adapted from here!

Roasted Root Veggies + Chipotle BBQ

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Well it’s the most wonderful time of every 2-3 years.

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The time when Leonardo DiCaprio graces us with a new award-worthy performance in a major motion picture.

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It’s been an especially long four years for me, personally, since The Revenant. While we finally got our Oscar, it left a little something to be desired as far as him really getting to highlight his range, ya know?? Hanging out in a horse carcass is kewl and all, but I want a little more from him.

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Despite it being a Quentin Tarantino film, I was so super jazzed for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. That cast? I mean, come on. Star-studded! Even from the trailer, you can tell the sets and wardrobe are a visual delight. Using my dazzling snaggletoothed smile and underwhelming wit, I convince my husband who detests going to the movies more than any activity under the sun to go see this flick with me. We make it an event with a large popcorn and everything. We settle into these dope recliners and I’m ready for movie magic. While my baby boo delivered a performance I contend will earn him several nominations even *fingers crossed* a win or two and he and Brad made the cutiest pair of all time like I’d watch them watching paint dry, I was underwhelmed with the plot. I mean, it was entertaining, but I just can’t get behind QT’s perspective on things I suppose. Something about the blood, guts & gore just doesn’t jive with me???

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Why can’t L just do like a sweet romantic comedy opposite Kate Winslet once in a while?

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, halved
  • 2 beets, peeled + chopped
  • 2 parsnips, peeled + chopped
  • 2 cups of baby rainbow carrots, chopped
  • 1 red onion, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of tomato puree
  • 1/4 cup of agave
  • 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 2 tbsp. of chipotle peppers in adobo + 1 tsp. of the adobo sauce
  • 1 tsp. of soy sauce
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Quinoa, for serving
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 425 degrees
  • Arrange brussels + beets on a lined baking sheet + parsnips + carrots + onion on another
  • Drizzle each with a tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast brussels + beets on bottom + other veggies on top, stirring both once after 20 minutes, bake parsnips + friends for another 10 + brussels + beets another 15-20 or until crisp to your desire
  • Meanwhile, combine tomato puree + agave + vinegar + peppers + soy sauce in a sauce pan over medium-high heat, bring to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 10 minutes
  • To serve, top some quinoa with veggies + drizzle with bbq sauce
  • Mix all that goodness + slop up that grub + make some oinks in between bites, embracing the inner piggy in all of us

Balsamic Veggie Stacks

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Apparently I moved from Earthquakeville to Hurricaneland.

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I thought the Carolinas were supposed to be a calm little southern piece of the American pie filled with little suburbias and mini vans, but here I sit in the direct path of a ginormous storm with it’s eye (get it) set on trying to kill me!

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Honestly, I was not concerned about this until like 24 hours ago. I was like, k, so we’ll get some rain, kewlie.

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But errbody was wiggin’ out on the interwebs, so I ran to Walmart to get some bottled water. No joke, that place was an absolute zoo. Like, more so than your average Wally World. I park 83 miles away and roll my lil cart to the water aisle. I wish I could describe what I saw. Picture nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a bottle of water on the shelves. No water in the little mini fridges up by the registers. Nada! I would have bought that fancy artisanal water straight from the depths of the Alps, but it was ALL GONE. The sheer panic that consumed me in this moment was epic. I literally pushed the cart into a large display of cereals (I did not do this) and ran out of that Walmart to ransack every grocery store I could find. I did find some water and stocked up on junk food and cans of soup that the thought of eating cold only slightly churn my stomach.

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Also, I literally just had a preview of what the next few days will be like because our power went out for an hour while in the middle of cooking dinner so I ate pasta in a raw garlic sauce, yum.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 1 sweet potato, peeled + sliced about 1/2 inch thick
  • 1 package of tempeh, cut in lil cubes
  • 2 roma tomatoes, sliced about 1/4 inch thick
  • 1 red pepper, sliced
  • 1 green pepper, sliced
  • 1 zucchini, sliced in coins
  • 1 yellow squash, sliced in coins
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Basil, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar + garlic + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Arrange sweet potatoes on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, rub on both sides, arrange in an eve, layer
  • Arrange peppers on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, arrange in an even layer
  • Arrange squash on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, arrange in an even layer
  • Bake all for 25 minutes, stirring all once in the middle of cook time
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh, cook for 6-8 minutes until crisp to your desire
  • Add remaining vinegar to a lil pot + reduce over low heat for about 4-5 minutes, until it thickens a bit
  • To serve, place a sweet potato on a place + top with tempeh + peppers + squash + basil + drizzle with some balsamic reduction, repeat with remaining veggies
  • Serve warm with avocado
  • Play rock, paper, scissors with sweetie + only select rock, smashing each veggie stack in the process