Avocado + Mango Quesadillas

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I have finally unlocked my spiritual gifts!

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Garr and I are joining a church in town and they gave us this assessment and now I am one step closer to understanding my God-given purpose!

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For so long, I was just like, OK I’m winning an Oscar or two, maybe I’ll have a Vegas residency, I don’t know.

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Now I know God has given me superior skills in the areas of mercy, hospitality and administration. Do not laugh at me! This is serious business. I’m empathetic, enjoy hosting a good party and feeding people and no, I don’t mind a nicely organized spreadsheet, sue me! Honestly, I’m most surprised by mercy. In general, I don’t love people and have been known to hold a grudge for a decade+, i.e. the boy who told me I was fat in the 6th grade got hit with the reject button when his Facebook friend request came through.

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We also listed our passions and mine are 1) food 2) artistic/drama so….

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 quesadillas

Ingredients:

  • 8 whole wheat flour tortillas
  • 2 avocados
  • 1 large mango
  • 1 cup of heirloom grape tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 jalapeno, sliced thin
  • Shredded or sliced vegan pepper jack cheese
  • 3-4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Mash up your avos in a bowl with some red pepper + S+P
  • Chop up your mango and place in a separate bowl
  • In a skillet over medium heat, add 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add a tortilla to the skillet + spread it with some avo + top with mango + tomatoes + onion + jalapeno + vegan cheese, cover with another tortilla, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Flip, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Remove from pan, repeat
  • Serve immediately or refrigerate + eat cold, ain’t nobody want microwaved avo
  • Lift ‘dilla triangle above head, lean back + squeeze contents into pie hole

 

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Chickpea + Grape Salad

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Hi, I’m Rachel, and I’m addicted to true crime.

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I know I’m like 6 years late to this party, but I am here now with bells on, so giddy up!

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I’m just obsessed. I haven’t stopped listening to this “My Favorite Murder” podcast that a stranger told me about a few weeks ago (is it possible she wants to murder me?) and all I want to watch are murder documentaries and (for balance) The Office.

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Like, there are human beings out there capable of murdering other human beings and feeling no remorse. How is this possible?! Fascinating. I hope all murderers are signed up to have their minds donated to science. It’s made me like super paranoid, though. More so than usual. Remember, I’m the girl who made her mom leave a movie theatre several years ago because there was a guy by himself with a backpack. I was not about to die watching The Place Beyond the Pines. Now, my default setting is just to assume everyone is out to murder me. I’m at yoga – oh, someone is going to bust up in here and definitely murder me while I’m in a down dog. I’m in the grocery store – k, everyone in here wants to murder me, can I roll over the deli section and use a carving knife as a weapon? We were out the other night and there was a young guy sitting by himself at the bar looking all melancholy. I looked at Garr and was like, k, we are outtie.

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Can’t tell if the paranoia is rooted in true crime fascination or general self-centeredness.

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking if using canned chickpeas); Overnight soaking + 1 hour (prep + cooking if using fresh chickpeas) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of cooked chickpeas (I used fresh, feel free to use a can or two!)
  • 1 rib of celery, chopped
  • 1 head of broccoli, cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 1/2 cups of red + green grapes, halved
  • 1/2 cup of vegan cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup of pecans, toasted + chopped
  • 4 green onions, diced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Toast, for serving

How to:

  • To a pot of salted, boiling water, add broccoli, cook 3 minutes, drain + plunge into ice bath
  • In a large bowl, combine chickpeas + vegan cream cheese + crushed red pepper + S+P, set aside for a few minutes
  • In another bowl, add drained broccoli + onion + celery + green onion + S+P
  • Now add your broccoli bowl to your chickpea bowl
  • Fold in grapes + pecans, more S+P
  • Refrigerate for a bit, serve chilled or room temp with some toast or crackers or eat like a lil salad
  • Grab giant handful, walk into crowded cafeteria, scream “food fight” and launch at youngins

Sweet + Sour Pineapple + Peppers

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This is probably going to be my last post.

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Because my husband has spent all of our money and we cannot afford to pay the internet bill anymore.

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Like, I throw the man a bone and he wants the whole steak. (This is a metaphor I just made up, I hope it makes sense.)

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The human I married has been pestering me for actual years about investing in equipment for a home gym. I’m not talking a treadmill in the den, people. I’m talking, take everything out of the garage and fill it with barbells and bikes and rowing machines and something called a squat rack, I don’t even know. I’ve been incredibly against this for a couple of valid reasons: 1) the expense is thousands of dollars – mama likes to have nice things, too. 2) I don’t think parking in my own garage is really too much to ask 3) the sound of a barbell dropping on concrete sends me into full-blown panic & I convince myself the foundation is cracking & we are going to get sucked into a sink hole.

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I caved after he looked at me all lovingly and whispered, “If I have a home gym, I get to be home with you more, babe……….”

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 pineapple, cut in chunks
  • 1 red bell pepper, cut in chunks
  • 1 yellow bell pepper, cut in chunks
  • 1 orange bell pepper, cut in chunks
  • 1 tbsp. of ketchup
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 4 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of cornstarch
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/2 cup of raw cashews, toasted
  • Brown rice for serving,
  • 2 green onions, diced
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Arrange pineapple + peppers on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Bake for 15 minutes, toss, bake another 15 minutes
  • Meanwhile, in a bowl, combine ketchup + soy sauce + rice vinegar + agave
  • Combine 1/3 cup of water + cornstarch, stir until cornstarch dissolves
  • Add cornstarchy water to ketchup mix
  • Add to saucepan, bring to a boil, turn down + simmer for 6-8 minutes or until thick + sticky, but drippy
  • In a bowl, combine sauce + roasted peppers + pineapple
  • Serve over brown rice with green onions + cilantro
  • With hands, scoop mix + throw at blank wall, finger paint to create art

 

Sauce from here!