Black Bean Taquitos

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But why do we wash our cars?

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I spend $18 on a car bath & what do I really get? Does Creed (my car) run any better after his car bath? Does Creed smell pretty after his car bath? No.

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I take human baths for the free & I step out smelling like a country spring day. That’s a strong return on investment.

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I finally broke down and got a car wash when I could no longer see through my windows. I went through one of those car washes that you sit in while the contraption does all of the work for you. I’m truly not convinced that these things are safe. They’re definitely not safe for those prone to pessimism because my crazy self about lost it up in there! These giant twirling sponges were beating Creed to death and there were all these juices spewing from every which way. All the while I’m thinking, “If one of these sponges breaks my windshield, I am going to drown. I’m drowning. I’m dying in a car wash. Will I make national news?”

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It rained that night & Creed looked like he rolled around in mud again. $18 well spent.

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 10-12 taquitos

Ingredients:

  • Corn tortillas
  • 1 can of black beans, drained + rinsed
  • 1/2 can of spicy corn, drained
  • 1/2 cup of green pepper, diced
  • 1/2 cup of onion, diced
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of garlic salt
  • 1/2 tsp. of paprika
  • 1/4 cup of spicy cheese, shredded
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Salsa, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine black beans + corn + pepper + onion + chili powder + cumin + garlic salt + paprika + S+P
  • Pulse until combined, just a lil bit, leave it chunky!
  • Scoop a lil bit of the bean mix into a tortilla + top with a lil bit of cheese
  • Roll it up
  • Arrange seam down on a lined baking sheet
  • Repeat
  • Brush with olive oil
  • Bake for 20 minutes
  • Top with cilantro + salsa
  • Have sword fight with sweetie using these lil guys as weapons

 

Idea from here!

Baked Black Bean Taquitos

Onion Rings

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I’m not one for gossip BUT OH MY GOSH THIS T SWIZZ/KIM K DRAMA GOT ME LIKE *faints*

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Can I just say a quick thank you to the Kim K team for concocting this epic distraction from the real problems in our world?? My heart and soul NEEDED this.

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Recent world events have reminded me that I don’t belong here. I belong somewhere with less hate and more love. Preferably with Jesus or in outer space or anywhere but here really.

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Though, if I weren’t here, I’d be missing out on all of this celebrity drama & I’m not sure I could live with myself! This is what America needed right now – a good ole fashioned celeb feud to unite us all & remind us that there are still super rich and famous people in the world who are oblivious to real issues. Personally, I can’t wait to be a celebrity worth bahoodles of dinero and have my biggest problem be when Justin Bieber or a One Directioner sings about me. That sounds pretty darn dreamy if you ask me.

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Though a song about me would most likely be about how I smell like onion at all times.

 

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: Dozen Rangs

Ingredients:

  • 1 large yellow onion, sliced thick
  • 1 cup of panko breadcrumbs
  • 1/4 cup of all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1/2 tsp. of parsley flakes
  • 2 eggs
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cooking spray

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 450 degrees
  • Place onion rings in a bowl + cover with a half cup of water
  • Meanwhile, pour panko in one bowl
  • Combine the flour + chili powder + parsley + S+P in another
  • Whisk eggs + a splash of water in a third bowl
  • Dredge onion in flour mixture, then egg + finally the panko
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Spray all of the onion rings with cooking spray
  • Bake for 12 minutes
  • Arrange rings on face + let the onion seep into pores + make you happy

 

Idea came from here:

Baked Onion Rings

Orzo + Cauliflower Salad

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I went to Chick-fil-A in my bathrobe last night. There were slippers involved.

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Technically, that’s why they invented drive throughs, right? To fuel our laziness?

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I just needed a milkshake, OK? It wasn’t a particularly tough day. In fact, it was downright pleasant. I couldn’t just end my perfectly pleasant day by going home and doing my yoga & self-loathing & calling it a day, could I? No! I deserved a sweet treat for going an entire day with a semi-positive attitude. It just wasn’t until after I bathed that I realized how desperately I needed one. So I just went. Terry cloth-clad and all.

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Seeing as I don’t eat chicken, it’s been a few moons since I’ve visited a good ole Chick-fil-A. Of course I choose cow night to make my grand entrance. You know, the night Chick-fil-A offers free nuggets if you show up dressed like an actual moo-cow. That place was a farm (get it?!). Screaming children with felt circles pinned to their white shirts just running a muck. It wasn’t just for kids, though. I saw one lady in a floor-length cow print dress. Another had fashioned some cow print flappy ears to her head. The level of commitment was truly impressive.

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So thank you, Chick-fil-A, for allowing us to all be our most free selves with you.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of orzo
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in florets
  • 1/2 of a red onion, sliced thin
  • Juice of 1/2 a lemon
  • 4 cups of spinach
  • 1/4 cup of dried cranberries
  • 1/4 cup of feta cheese
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 3 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of honey
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine cauliflower + 3 tbsp. of olive oil + garlic + S+P
  • Arrange on a lined baking sheet + bake for 20-25 minutes, stirring once in the middle
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta until slightly under al dente
  • Drain + add to a bowl with a tbsp. of olive oil
  • Meanwhile, combine remaining olive oil + honey + dijon + lemon juice + S+P in a small bowl
  • To the orzo bowl, add roasted cauliflower + spinach + onion + cranberries + feta + dressing + extra S+P
  • Serve room temperature or cool
  • Shrink self + climb into serving bowl, you will want to roll around in this silkiness

Idea from my girl Chrissy!

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/recipe/roasted-cauliflower-feta-orzo-salad-chrissy-teigen-37229463