Grits Goodness Bowl

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What kind of person does it make me that my husband got me a bunch of cleaning supplies for my birthday?

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Let’s back it up a bit. My bday was a month ago, but bub was gone and then I was traveling. Sadly, there’s been no time to celebrate the majestic birth of muah.

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I came home Monday and our bed was piled high with birthday happies.

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All of which are to aid in my second favorite hobby – cleaning the sanctuary that is my house. I got this microwave splatter helmet thing that we can use to cover up foods before we heat them so sauces and such don’t fly all willy nilly. GAME CHANGER. Then, I got these lil motorized brushes to scrub the caked on messes on the stove top. Woah nelly, where have these babies BEEN all my life?! Next came a brand new hand vacuum. Only one of the most convenient household tools in all of the world! This one with a longer lasting charge because DUH. Finally, this angry looking lil woman that you fill with vinegar & put it in the microwave to sanitize it. Like, OK, a thing I absolutely cannot live without. All to say, I have VERY big plans this weekend.

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Oh, and to complete the kewl girl birthday of 2019, a night night mumu in a cactus print.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of grits, uncooked
  • 1 package of tempeh, sliced in thin strips
  • 1 head of cauliflower, cut in florets
  • 1/2 lb. of brussels sprouts, halved
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms
  • 1 bunch of kale, destemmed + roughly chopped
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 2 tsp. of liquid smoke
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine kale + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, massage gently + set aside
  • Arrange cauliflower + brussels on 1-2 lined baking sheets (depending on your sheets) + drizzle with 1-2 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, toss, roast another 15
  • Meanwhile, whisk 1 tbsp. of olive oil + soy sauce + agave + liquid smoke + hot sauce + cumin + chili powder + some S+P
  • Arrange tempeh in a flat, even layer + pour marinade on top, let sit for a few minutes
  • Heat skillet over medium heat
  • Add some tempeh slices, cooking for 3-4 minutes per side, remove + repeat with all slices
  • Then, heat last bit of olive oil in that same skillet + add mushrooms + S+P, cook for 5-6 minutes
  • Add kale + red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cook grits to package directions, once done, stir in nutritional yeast
  • To serve, pour some grits in a bowl + top with tempeh bacon + shroom/kale mix + some cauliflower + brussels sprouts
  • Using hands, scoop up some of your food + catapult it at your sweetie, then just stay seated + calm + see what happens

Mole Enchiladas

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On this week’s episodes of Real Housewives of suburban North Carolina:

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Follow Rachel as she travels home to Memphis and tries to fit in at the fanciest wedding to which she will ever be invited.

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Like, I just did not belong rubbing elbows with Memphis’ elite.

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In an attempt to blend in with the crowd, me, my mom and BFF got our hair and makeup done. My stepbrother’s husband is the most fabulous HMU artist in town and he spent literally 5 hours getting us appropriately glammed. We sat in his styling chair sipping mimosas, eating fruit, gabbing and generally just living our best lives. We legit had such a lovely time, we were late for the wedding. We raced to the venue, went through some random back door and walked in on the wedding party as they were about go down the aisle. Whoopsies. We tried to sit quietly through the ceremony but there were just so  many beautiful things to point out to each other so the likelihood our commentary is picked up on the video is high. The food was overwhelming. When they passed around vegan spring rolls I about fainted. It was really hard to stay calm when I saw the taco station and salad bar filled with topping options like quinoa and edamame. I somehow  never made it to the past bar but my skin tight dress thanked me. I tanked up so hard I looked like a busted can of biscuits the rest of the eve.

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Did I mention it was a Jewish wedding and my very Christian stepfather thought he was supposed to wear a yarmulke so grabbed one on the way in and introduced himself as a pretend Jew the entire night?

 

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 6 New Mexico chiles, stems removed
  • 4 dried arbol chiles, stems removed
  • 2  white onions, diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic, minced
  • 1 roma tomato, diced
  • 2 pieces of bread, toasted + cubed
  • 1 heaping tbsp. of cocoa powder
  • Juice of 1/2 an orange
  • 1 tbsp. of oregano
  • 1 tbsp. of sugar
  • 1/4 tsp. of cinnamon
  • Tiny pinch of cloves
  • S+P, to taste
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Whole wheat flour tortillas
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 4 ears of corn, shucked
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 red pepper, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprila
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Place chiles in a bowl + cover with boiling water, weigh it down + let sit for 30 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cook garlic + tomato in a dry skillet over medium heat for 5 minutes
  • Drain chiles + add to a food processor with 1/2 cup of the water they soaked in + garlic/tomato mix + 1 of the diced onions + bread + cocoa powder + orange juice + oregano + sugar + cinnamon + cloves + S+P, process until smooth, add more liquid if necessary
  • Heat 2 tbsp. of oil in a pan over medium heat, add sauce + simmer for 30 minutes
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add peppers + S+P, cook another 3 minutes,
  • Add corn + S+P, chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Place tortilla on a flat surface + fill with some bean mix
  • Roll + place seam down in a greased baking dish
  • Repeat with remaining tortillas + toppings
  • Spread some mole on top
  • Bake for 30 minutes
  • Remove + spread with remaining mole sauce
  • Serve warm with cilantro
  • Since there’s some cocoa in these, wash your mole enchilada dinner down with ANOTHER mole enchilada

 

Mole adapted from here!

Spring Pasta Salad

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I have the music in me.

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In that, it’s trapped inside of me & I can’t help but belt tunes at the top of my lungs at all hours of the day despite sharing walls with neighbors.

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So I’m channeling my energy into a new hobby: I am going to teach myself to play the guitar.

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Turns out it’s like really difficult. I was trying to learn some v basic chords the other day and thought I was going to break my fingers. I went to yoga the next morning and my left hand cramped so badly I almost collapsed. Is this normal? Anyways, I really suck. First, my guitar needs to be tuned. Having less than no experience, I do not know how to fix this on my own. I just keep twisting the knobby things and plucking and I stop when my ears stop bleeding. Second, I think I should chop off my fingernails??? They seem to inhibit me. Third, I need a kewl strap and a microphone stand so I can stand in front of the mirror and strum while performing for myself. This is all I really want to do tbh. Put on concerts for myself and keep the delusion alive that I am jam packed full of hidden talent and at any moment an agent will walk into my bedroom (if this happened, I should prob be concerned for my safety) and whisk me to Hollywood and I will grace the cover of a couple of major magazines and have a sitcom written around my life. I digress.

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If all else fails, I’ll just dramatically bust the guitar and crowd surf off the stage and into my imaginary audience.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of pasta
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1 english cucumber, sliced thin
  • 6 mini sweet peppers, sliced thin
  • 8 mini multi-colored carrots, sliced thin
  • 3 radishes, peeled + sliced thin
  • 4 cups of arugula
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1 tsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tsp. of agave
  • S+P, to taste
  • Hemp seeds, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange chickpeas on a lined baking sheet, bake 15 minutes
  • Remove from oven + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, bake another 15 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, drain
  • Meanwhile, meanwhile, whisk together remaining olive oil + lemon juice + dijon + agave + S+P
  • To serve, combine arugula + pasta + chickpeas + cucumber + peppers + carrots + radishes + drizzle with vinaigrette
  • Serve chilled or room temp
  • Take a small broom + brush plate contents into mouth to avoid leaving any crumbs behind

 

Adapted from here!