Pinto + Lentil West Coast Burgers


Today was Garrett’s first day at his new job.


For the last two months, he was transitioning to his new role from home. Meaning, he’s been home with me every day for the last two months. Meaning, we’ve been around each other all day every day for the last two months. All day. Every day.


I love this meathead with all of my heart and lifeless soul, but do you know what it’s like to be around a human being that often? It’s not natural, I tell you!


Both of us working from home in a 1,400 square foot house is simply not ideal. We just have different styles. I like slow, acoustic jams for my background music and he prefers blaring hardcore trap songs. I like to read on my lunch break and he likes to have play time with Topanga and throw toys at my face. I like to be quiet and respectful while he is on the phone and he prefers to take out every pot and pan we own and bang them against each other while I am on calls. Needless to say, I anticipated this day with joy and ecstasy until about noon today when I desperately missed his mid-day giggles and toots.


To top it off, he gets all perfect and romantic on me and wakes ME up with breakfast in bed on HIS first day. I truly suck.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 burgers


  • 1 1/2 cups of green lentils, cooked
  • 1 can of pinto beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 medium white onion, diced
  • 1/3 cup of walnuts, chopped
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 2 avocadoes
  • 2 roma tomatoes, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns, for serving

How to:

  • In a bowl, mash the avo + add some S+P, set aside
  • In another bowl, combine tomatoes + 1/4 cup of the onion + jalapeno + 1 tbsp. of cilantro + S+P, set aside
  • In a big bowl, combine lentils + pinto beans, combine well, mashing most of it
  • Add in walnuts + onion + remaining cilantro + garlic + chili powder + cumin + smoked paprika + S+P, combine well
  • Refrigerate for 20-30 minutes
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Form mix into 6 patties, place 3 into skillet, cook 4-5 minutes, flip cook another 4 minutes
  • Remove from pan
  • Add remaining oil + cook remaining patties
  • Serve hot on buns with avocado + pico you made
  • If you serve on slider buns, it tricks your mind into thinking you can have more and then you will have a happier and bigger belly

5-Spice Fried Cauli Rice


I’m into dreaming medium.


Dreaming big is for hopeless romantics and lunatics. Dreaming medium is my comfort zone.


A medium dream of mine has come true: I now work in a cafe.


On Sundays at church as a volunteer, but it COUNTS! I am finally working around food!! Store-bought donuts and muffins are my specialty. “Might I recommend the blueberry cake?” The best is that Garr and I get to do it together. We’ve decided he’ll sling the lattes and I’ll interact with the customers and fetch their treats. The seasoned folks training us asking 18 times, “Do you like this job? I really hope you do…!” I honestly don’t think they believed me when I exclaimed, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA, I LOVE THIS, THIS IS ACTUALLY ONE OF MY DREAMS.” I was met with several, “Mmm.. Ok.. sure…..” responses.


Eventually, I will convince them to allow me to use the church body as my personal taste testers.


Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 head of cauliflower, riced (I left a few lil cauli chunks in there for a bit of texture)
  • 1 cup of carrots, shredded
  • 1 can of baby corn, drained
  • 1 can of water chestnuts, drained
  • 1 cup of frozen peas, thawed
  • 4 green onion, sliced thin
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 1 tsp. of Chinese 5-spice seasoning
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic
  • 2 tbsp. of sesame oil

How to:

  • In a wok, heat 1 tbsp. of sesame oil over medium heat
  • Add green onion + carrots + corn + water chestnuts, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute, remove from pan
  • Heat remaining oil, add cauliflower, cook 6-7 minutes
  • Add 5-spice, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, mix soy sauce + rice vinegar + Sriracha in a lil bowl
  • Add sauce to cauli rice, mix well
  • Add veggies + peas, cook another 2-3 minutes until the peas are warmed through
  • Serve hot with more green onion + soy sauce + sriracha, if your heart desires
  • Pick out all baby corns + give sweetie wet willies with them, then trash them, no one wants an ear wax baby corn

Tempeh Breakfast Scramble


You’d think I’d be apt at choosing fabulous dinner locales whilst traveling.


You’d be wrong.


Garr and I took a quick vaca to Charleston, SC known for it’s history, hospitality and the Bravo phenomenon, Southern Charm.


Being the culinary goddess divine I am, I took the reigns on meals. I knew we were in for a good time when we got a late travel start and stopped at a sketchy Subway in the boonies of SC, spilling mustard all over my white tee & light jeans, an utter delight. Once we arrived, we took in some sights and needed a late afternoon snack. We went to a dope restaurant I’d found in my searches, but turns out no other humans in the world need snacks at 3:30pm on a Thursday so we shared an order of falafel in silence – did I mention there was no background music? We somehow ended up getting pre-dinner drinks at a hotel bar we thought was full of hip, young professionals but were instead doing their best to hide their true identity – tourists!! For dinner, I was tricked by an expertly designed website with high quality photos into thinking this particular restaurant was def going to be POPPING! False, again the only patrons at 7pm in this ginormous establishment. However, this place BLARED elevator music all eve, so the ambience was on point.


Things turned around for us the rest of the trip: there were torrential downpours and flooding and I managed to eat my weight in avocado toast.


Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 package of tempeh
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1 cup of shiitake mushrooms, sliced thin
  • 1/2 cup of cherry tomatoes, halved
  • 1 cup of arugula
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 1 tsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of cilantro + more for serving
  • Avocado, for serving
  • Toast, for serving
  • Taters, for serving

How to:

  • Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add mushrooms + S+P, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • Add red pepper + jalapeno + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Crumble in your tempeh + add sriracha + chili powder + cumin + S+P, cook another 5-6 minutes
  • Add tomatoes, cook, 2-3 minutes
  • Add arugula, cook another minute
  • Turn off heat, add cilantro + stir to combine, let sit for a few
  • Serve hot with toast + tater + avo
  • Stack scramble onto some toast, top with taters + avo + more toast + make carb sandwich with which to gorge self on