Peanut Butter Cheesecake Bites

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My panic disorder is one of my most charming qualities.

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Like, to myself. If other people have to see it, it’s a catastrophe.

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Common folk can handle life circumstances with clarity and a level head. Not I, the overreacting girl!!!!

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I’ve told y’all I run the cafe at church once a month. I was closing up shop yesterday, getting everything put away and organized. Every single time I forget that I’m supposed to lock the keys up because obvio that feels counterintuitive. Who locks keys INSIDE something else?! But this time, I did everything correctly the first time. Gold star for me! I start to leave and realize I don’t have my bag. It’s inside the closet. And I just locked the keys inside said closet. Wave of nausea comes, but I swallow it back – I know where the spare is! I go rifling through the drawer and it’s not in the secret hiding spot. I check all of the drawers. Nada. Nothing. Panic ensues. I ask my team leader if she has a key. Nope. She enlists two staff members to help. No can do. I think by this time we have tried every ring on four key rings and one staff member has tried breaking in with a credit card lawlz. By now, I am having a full blown panic attack. My car keys are in that closet. I cannot even leave here. I will have to sleep in this church. At least I will be comforted by the Lord, but like the seats aren’t THAT comfortable. Finally I just said, “K, I’m going to call a locksmith,” because by this point 20 minutes have gone by and in my experience if something can’t fixed in 20 minutes, it’s time to call a professional. They were basically like hold your horses, a key has been found.

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I just HAD to take a 45 minute bubble bath to decompress and get my heart rate down after that.

 

 

Time: 6 hours (prep + freezing) | Serves: 12 bites

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of packed dates
  • 1 cup of raw walnuts
  • 1/2 cup of cashews + 1 cup of almonds, quick-soaked (bring nuts to a boil, reduce heat + simmer for 15 minutes, drain) or soaked overnight
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 1/3 cup of coconut oil
  • 2/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk
  • 1/2 cup of agave
  • 2 tbsp. of creamy peanut butter
  • Flaky sea salt, for serving

How to:

  • In a food processor, add dates + process until they form into one ball
  • Add walnuts + process into a meal
  • To a lightly greased muffin pan, place a strip of parchment paper at the bottom of each tin so the paper hangs out on either side (this will make lifting the bites out easier)
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out some of your date/walnut mix + pour into each tin, pressing down + flattening in each – about two scoops of mix for tin
  • Place in freezer while you work on the filling
  • Meanwhile, combine cashews + almonds + lemon juice + coconut oil + milk + agave in the cleaned out food processor, process until smooth creamy (I then transferred mine to a blender to get it even creamier)
  • Add peanut butter + process again until all combined
  • Using your cookie scoop, scoop 2-3 spoonfuls on top of each crust in the muffin pan until almost full, spread it out evenly + tap the pan down to get out the air bubbles
  • Add back to the freezer, freeze for about 4-5 hours
  • To serve, sprinkle some flaky sea salt on top
  • In the middle of the night while your sweetie is sleeping, tiptoe into the kitchen + eat all of these by the refrigerator light, while you contemplate the life decisions that got you here

 

Adapted from here!

Double Chocolate Cakies

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Wait, where did 2015 go?

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I’m not kidding. It was April like two days ago.

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I cannot physically handle how quickly my life is passing by. I have so much to do, so much to say. Like sleep & sing karaoke at the top of my lungs. I just need time to slooooow down a bit. I feel like adult weekends go by so much quicker than my adolescent weekends did. Why??? Perhaps it’s all of the cider I choose to consume on Saturdays. Idk.

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If I were a superhero, my power would be the ability to bend time. Like, speed it up when things are totally miz & slow it down when life is grand. How handy would this be? Your boss is yelling at you & you just *zoom* to the next life event. Then you’re having a picnic with your sweetie & butterflies & hummingbirds are flying around & you just *halt* time & live in that moment for as long as you like. (I’d probably not stay at a picnic for too long, though, because the outdoors)

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I suppose some challenges might arise, though, like when I *halt* time & live in bed for 3 years.

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 12

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1/4 cup of cocoa powder
  • 1/2 cup of brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. of baking soda
  • 1/4 cup of butter, melted
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup of nonfat greek yogurt (I’ve played around with flavored kind & it definitely does not hurt!)
  • 1/2 cup of skim milk
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla
  • A pinch of salt
  • 1 tbsp. of peanut butter
  • 1 bag of chocolate chips (yes, the whole bag)

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • In a large bowl, combine flour + cocoa powder + brown sugar + baking soda + salt
  • In another bowl, whisk butter + eggs
  • Whisk eggs into flour mixture
  • Stir in greek yogurt + milk + vanilla + peanut butter (This is a pretty moist batter! Yes, I said moist)
  • Fold in chocolate chips
  • Using a cookie scoop, scoop out batter onto a lined baking sheet
  • Bake for 8-10 minutes
  • Serve warm with a glass of milk
  • After you’ve eaten 3, rub the chocolate that got all over your fingers onto your body