Miso Veggie Noodles

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Why must I be so incredibly thoughtful?

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It’s really throwing a giant wrench smackdab in the middle of my bank account.

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It’s been my new year’s resolution every year since I can remember that I’m going to be more thoughtful. No longer will I yell “My presence is your present!” at my family when it’s my turn to pass out Christmas gifts.

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So this Christmas, I’ve done something I’ve never done before – purchased real gifts! Not just grab a bottle of wine on the way to the party or craft a last minute coupon book like a 7-year-old, I actually, like, went to stores and perused shelves for things I thought my humans might enjoy. There’s a lot of stuff out there when you aren’t totally self-centered and a major cheap-o! Soon, though, it became an addiction. If I left a store empty handed, I would curse the proprietor for not having equal parts useful and humorous gift options at a sensible price. I felt so defeated the other day after not checking everything off my list, I pouted and cried the rest of the evening.

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I’ve really mastered the “reason for the season” thing.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 2 zucchini, spiralized
  • 2 beets, peeled + spiralized or shredded
  • 1 cup of matchstick carrots or 2 carrots, peeled + shreeded
  • 1 cup of snap peas
  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of sesame miso
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh ginger, minced
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 2 tsp. of toasted sesame oil
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Cilantro, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine half of the miso + half the ginger + juice of 1/2 the lime + half the soy sauce + half the rice vinegar + half the toasted sesame oil + 1/4 cup of the olive oil, whisk well
  • Add tempeh to the dressing + coat, marinate 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, mix up the other half of the dressing ingredients, set aside
  • On a lined baking sheet, spread chickpeas into an even layer
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P, bake 20-25 minutes, tossing once in the middle of cooking
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add marinated tempeh, cook for 6-8 minutes, browning on all sides
  • Remove from pan + add snap peas, cook 3-4 minutes, remove
  • To serve, combine all veggie noodles in a bowl with tempeh + chickpeas + snap peas + cilantro + toss with dressing
  • Crunch + slurp on your noodles while simultaneously rocking around your Christmas tree

 

Dressing adapted from here!

Summer Fritters

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Apparently, I’m going to have to take over ALL of the household chores.

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I give the man such simple tasks. He does outside, I do inside. Meaning, he has to keep a pair of cars clean and the garage tidy. That’s it!

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Living in a townhouse, we have peeps that do our yard, so like the man’s chore time is truly minimal. Living in a townhouse also means we have communal trash receptacles. His most important job is to simply take the trash to said receptacles. Simple, right?

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We didn’t drive my car during the entire hurricane because it’s basically a Tonka truck and might get swept away in heavy winds. After the storm, I hop in to run some errands. I’m instantly hit what a stench reminiscent of putrid animal flesh. I look all around this car and find nothing. I pump up the air, roll down the windows and continue on my journey, gagging constantly. At one point, I convinced myself the animal was actually still alive and going to crawl on me any second and, while I don’t eat animals, I also don’t love being near them. By the time I get home, I’m thoroughly disturbed. “GARRETT! GARRETT! Something has died in my car!!!!!!” He goes to check it out and comes back in with these sad puppy dog eyes. “I did something bad………….I left a bag of trash in your trunk….for probably a week.”

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BEST BELIEVE your girl will not be letting this one go for a minimum of 13 weeks!

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 8-10 fritters

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of chickpeas, rinsed + drained
  • 2 corn on the cob, grilled or roasted + shucked, or 1 can of roasted corn, drained
  • 1 zucchini, shredded with a cheese grater
  • 1/2 a white onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1/4 cup of flax meal
  • 1/2 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2-3 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • In a bowl, mash the chickpeas
  • Add all other ingredients minus the olive oil, mix well
  • Refrigerate about 20 minutes or so
  • Heat olive oil over medium heat in a cast iron skillet
  • Form lil patties + cook no more than 4 at a time for about 2-3 minutes on each side
  • Remove + repeat with remaining patties
  • Serve hot with some sprouts + a lil salad
  • When feeling angry at your sweetie, use a lil fritter as a punching bag + eat the crumblies off your knuckles

Chickpea + Grape Salad

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Hi, I’m Rachel, and I’m addicted to true crime.

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I know I’m like 6 years late to this party, but I am here now with bells on, so giddy up!

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I’m just obsessed. I haven’t stopped listening to this “My Favorite Murder” podcast that a stranger told me about a few weeks ago (is it possible she wants to murder me?) and all I want to watch are murder documentaries and (for balance) The Office.

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Like, there are human beings out there capable of murdering other human beings and feeling no remorse. How is this possible?! Fascinating. I hope all murderers are signed up to have their minds donated to science. It’s made me like super paranoid, though. More so than usual. Remember, I’m the girl who made her mom leave a movie theatre several years ago because there was a guy by himself with a backpack. I was not about to die watching The Place Beyond the Pines. Now, my default setting is just to assume everyone is out to murder me. I’m at yoga – oh, someone is going to bust up in here and definitely murder me while I’m in a down dog. I’m in the grocery store – k, everyone in here wants to murder me, can I roll over the deli section and use a carving knife as a weapon? We were out the other night and there was a young guy sitting by himself at the bar looking all melancholy. I looked at Garr and was like, k, we are outtie.

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Can’t tell if the paranoia is rooted in true crime fascination or general self-centeredness.

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking if using canned chickpeas); Overnight soaking + 1 hour (prep + cooking if using fresh chickpeas) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of cooked chickpeas (I used fresh, feel free to use a can or two!)
  • 1 rib of celery, chopped
  • 1 head of broccoli, cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 1/2 cups of red + green grapes, halved
  • 1/2 cup of vegan cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup of pecans, toasted + chopped
  • 4 green onions, diced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Toast, for serving

How to:

  • To a pot of salted, boiling water, add broccoli, cook 3 minutes, drain + plunge into ice bath
  • In a large bowl, combine chickpeas + vegan cream cheese + crushed red pepper + S+P, set aside for a few minutes
  • In another bowl, add drained broccoli + onion + celery + green onion + S+P
  • Now add your broccoli bowl to your chickpea bowl
  • Fold in grapes + pecans, more S+P
  • Refrigerate for a bit, serve chilled or room temp with some toast or crackers or eat like a lil salad
  • Grab giant handful, walk into crowded cafeteria, scream “food fight” and launch at youngins