Avocado + Mango Quesadillas

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I have finally unlocked my spiritual gifts!

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Garr and I are joining a church in town and they gave us this assessment and now I am one step closer to understanding my God-given purpose!

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For so long, I was just like, OK I’m winning an Oscar or two, maybe I’ll have a Vegas residency, I don’t know.

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Now I know God has given me superior skills in the areas of mercy, hospitality and administration. Do not laugh at me! This is serious business. I’m empathetic, enjoy hosting a good party and feeding people and no, I don’t mind a nicely organized spreadsheet, sue me! Honestly, I’m most surprised by mercy. In general, I don’t love people and have been known to hold a grudge for a decade+, i.e. the boy who told me I was fat in the 6th grade got hit with the reject button when his Facebook friend request came through.

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We also listed our passions and mine are 1) food 2) artistic/drama so….

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 quesadillas

Ingredients:

  • 8 whole wheat flour tortillas
  • 2 avocados
  • 1 large mango
  • 1 cup of heirloom grape tomatoes, halved
  • 1/2 a red onion, sliced thin
  • 1 jalapeno, sliced thin
  • Shredded or sliced vegan pepper jack cheese
  • 3-4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Mash up your avos in a bowl with some red pepper + S+P
  • Chop up your mango and place in a separate bowl
  • In a skillet over medium heat, add 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add a tortilla to the skillet + spread it with some avo + top with mango + tomatoes + onion + jalapeno + vegan cheese, cover with another tortilla, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Flip, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Remove from pan, repeat
  • Serve immediately or refrigerate + eat cold, ain’t nobody want microwaved avo
  • Lift ‘dilla triangle above head, lean back + squeeze contents into pie hole

 

Chickpea + Grape Salad

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Hi, I’m Rachel, and I’m addicted to true crime.

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I know I’m like 6 years late to this party, but I am here now with bells on, so giddy up!

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I’m just obsessed. I haven’t stopped listening to this “My Favorite Murder” podcast that a stranger told me about a few weeks ago (is it possible she wants to murder me?) and all I want to watch are murder documentaries and (for balance) The Office.

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Like, there are human beings out there capable of murdering other human beings and feeling no remorse. How is this possible?! Fascinating. I hope all murderers are signed up to have their minds donated to science. It’s made me like super paranoid, though. More so than usual. Remember, I’m the girl who made her mom leave a movie theatre several years ago because there was a guy by himself with a backpack. I was not about to die watching The Place Beyond the Pines. Now, my default setting is just to assume everyone is out to murder me. I’m at yoga – oh, someone is going to bust up in here and definitely murder me while I’m in a down dog. I’m in the grocery store – k, everyone in here wants to murder me, can I roll over the deli section and use a carving knife as a weapon? We were out the other night and there was a young guy sitting by himself at the bar looking all melancholy. I looked at Garr and was like, k, we are outtie.

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Can’t tell if the paranoia is rooted in true crime fascination or general self-centeredness.

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking if using canned chickpeas); Overnight soaking + 1 hour (prep + cooking if using fresh chickpeas) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups of cooked chickpeas (I used fresh, feel free to use a can or two!)
  • 1 rib of celery, chopped
  • 1 head of broccoli, cut into florets
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 1 1/2 cups of red + green grapes, halved
  • 1/2 cup of vegan cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup of pecans, toasted + chopped
  • 4 green onions, diced
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Toast, for serving

How to:

  • To a pot of salted, boiling water, add broccoli, cook 3 minutes, drain + plunge into ice bath
  • In a large bowl, combine chickpeas + vegan cream cheese + crushed red pepper + S+P, set aside for a few minutes
  • In another bowl, add drained broccoli + onion + celery + green onion + S+P
  • Now add your broccoli bowl to your chickpea bowl
  • Fold in grapes + pecans, more S+P
  • Refrigerate for a bit, serve chilled or room temp with some toast or crackers or eat like a lil salad
  • Grab giant handful, walk into crowded cafeteria, scream “food fight” and launch at youngins

Avocado + Grapefruit Ceviche

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I miss MySpace.

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Are any of my readers hackers? I need to log in to my old account. I’ll only need your services this one time and your secret will be safe with me.

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The photos on this long-ago deactivated MySpace page are so incredibly embarrassing, I’d give a limb to show them to my husband and show him how well I’ve aged. Think colorful braces and flat-iron damaged hair.

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Really I just miss a social media platform that let me customize my page with a song. Do you remember the PRESSURE of choosing your MySpace song?! If you were anything like me (sad, not many friends), this was a do-or-die situation. It had to be just right! Both representative of my mood and by a band my crush liked. To achieve, I’d stalk my crush’s fave band page and find the most depressing song they had. Then, I would wait patiently and hope crush noticed and would say something like, “wow, Rach, what an obscure and deep song you have on your page by a band I thoroughly enjoy, would you like to go to the local Sonic and share a limeade?”

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I think this had a 0% success rate, but I did develop a deep appreciation for My Chemical Romance.

 

 

Time: 20 minutes | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 2 avocados, diced
  • 1 grapefruit, skin removed + diced
  • 2 roma tomatoes, diced
  • 1 cup of cauliflower, cut into very small florets or riced
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1 jalapeno, diced
  • 1/2 cup of cilantro, chopped
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • S+P, to taste
  • Chips for serving

 

How to:

  • Mix all ingredients in a bowl + sprinkle on plenty of S + a little P
  • Serve with tortilla chips
  • Try to beat my record of eating literally all of this in a three-hour span

 

Idea from here!

https://cookieandkate.com/2018/vegan-citrus-ceviche-recipe/