Savory Pancakes

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How can I continue wearing the Hostess with the Mostest crown in good conscience when I suck at entertaining?

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My dad came to visit for my 28th birthday.

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I don’t want a single Happy Birthday message from a one of ya, I mean it! We’re not acknowledging it.

fullsizeoutput_966I was so pumped for his visit. I couldn’t wait to just do all of the fun things with him. It wasn’t until I picked him up from the airport that I realized I had forgotten to plan literally anything for us to do. Like, not a THING on the agenda to entertain this man. After a quick panic attack, we talk about the possibilities over dinner and decide to just hang loose. Just kick back, hang and relax. And when all else fails, I pride myself on choosing excellent dining locales. So I didn’t plan any exciting outings, I can book a dinner reservation like a grand champion! We’re both feeling good about the next few days when our gyoza appetizer is served. Undercooked and untasty (not a word, but appropriate). An omen, if you will, for what would be the worst meals I ever forced a loved one to eat. It was horrendous. All my favorite local spots disappointed. Soggy shrimps, dry pork shanks, taste-less beef burritos – all of this was his, obviously. I had to take the man to dessert every night just to make up for it. I try to limit his sweets intake, but I had to go against my principles just to keep him nourished!fullsizeoutput_96e

He politely told me he would only be back if we dined exclusively at chain restaurants he was confident in.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1/4 cup of green onions, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of chives, chopped
  • 1/2 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened dairy free milk
  • 1/2 a tomato, diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 1 cup of plain almond milk yogurt
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place garlic cloves on a square of foil, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + wrap up in the foil
  • Roast for 20-25 minutes
  • Once cooled, combine garlic + yogurt + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P in a lil food processor + pulse until smooth
  • Refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Meanwhile, whisk together flour + baking powder + cumin + turmeric + herbs + S+P
  • Make a well in the center, add milk + 2 tbsp. of olive oil + tomato, combine well
  • Add remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Scoop 1/2 cup of batter into the skillet + cook for about 3 minutes or until bubbles start to form, flip + cook another 3 minutes
  • Repeat with remaining batter
  • Serve warm with garlic whip
  • Gather pals + take to a park + play ultimate savory pancake, winner eats all

 

Adapted from here!

Southwestern Salad + Avocado Cilantro Dressing

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I am a crispy tater tot.

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A full week in the sand and surf has me golden brown & peelin’ all over – just the way I like it!

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I was, like, so adventurous on this trip.

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AKA I got in the water. This is not something I do. Mostly because I have a fear that the mere sight of my limbs entering water attracts deadly sea creatures. I basically required toddler water wings, but I did it! However, I did make Garr float with me because he would obviously be tastier to the sharks.

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I also got on a boat & didn’t vomit at the thought of being lost at sea with nothing but a volleyball for a BFF. Success!

 

 

Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-5

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of the green of your choice
  • 1 can of black beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 cup of southwestern corn, drained
  • 1 red pepper, rinsed + diced
  • 1/2 a red onion, diced
  • 6 tortillas, cut in thin strips
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 1 cup of cilantro leaves
  • 1.5 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt
  • 1/2 avocado
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of water

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375 degrees
  • Arrange tortilla strips on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + S+P
  • Bake for 10 minutes, toss, bake another 2-4 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine lettuce + black beans + corn + red pepper + onion + 1/2 of the lime juice + S+P, set aside
  • In a food processor, combine avocado + cilantro + garlic + yogurt + 1/2 of the lime juice + S+P + water
  • Pulse until smooth
  • Dress salad with dressing
  • Find blank wall in house + practice finger painting using only the juices from the salad

 

Idea for the dressing came from here!

http://pinchofyum.com/5-minute-avocado-cilantro-dressing

 

Orzo Stuffed Tomatoes

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Am I the only human who has not jumped on the Olympics train?

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It’s not because I lack patriotism. It’s because I lack skill. I have never & will never be 1/4 as good at anything as these people are at extreme sports.

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I simply can’t relate to them. They like to push their bodies to the limits for fun. I like to push my body face down in a mattress.

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I did, however, have high hopes of a being a figure skater at one point. I was watching the olympics over waffles one morning and saw how graceful and cute the leotards were. I was like, “Ma, I want to be a figure skater.” She was all, “Sorry you’re too old.” I was 5 years old at this time. I also wanted to be a gymnast for about 2.5 seconds. Well, to clarify, I wanted to be a cheerleader. I thought boys would like me, I don’t know. Ma took me a gymnastics studio to sign me up for a class. I looked around and saw a little girl fall off of the balance beam & I was like, “Nah let’s roll.”

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So, yeah, go Team USA!

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 tomatoes

Ingredients:

  • 6 beefsteak tomatoes, rinsed
  • 1 cup of orzo
  • 1 medium white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 can of tomato puree
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of onion salt
  • 1/2 tsp. of dried basil
  • 1/2 tsp. of dried parsley
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1/4 cup of grated parmesan cheese

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Cut tops off of tomatoes + scoop out (hand is the best tool) all of the tomato innards, try to get as much juice + guts out as possible
  • Meanwhile, cook orzo to al dente, drain
  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook for 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add tomato puree + crushed red pepper + onion salt + basil + parsley + S+P, simmer another 3-4 minutes
  • Add drained orzo + combine well, adjust seasoning to taste
  • Arrange tomatoes in a greased baking dish
  • Scoop some of the orzo into each tomato
  • Top with some of the cheese
  • Bake for 20-25 minutes or until tomatoes are slightly roasted + tops of stuffing are golden
  • Serve warm
  • Take two tomatoes + cover ears with them + tell friends you are Princess Leia