Lentil Loaf

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I wish you all could be in my kitchen with me on blog meal making days.

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My husband would strongly advise against it, but I think it would really give you a glimpse at the real ~me~.

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It’s basically just a lot of organized chaos minus any semblance of organization.

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I’m such a neat and tidy person in all other areas of my life. But when the weekend rolls around and I step into my kitchen ready to do WORK, all rules fly out the window. First of all, I look reallllyyyyy cute while cooking. My best sweats are on, hair on top of my head, and I’ve found wiping food on my clothes vs. a rag or paper towel is highly efficient and better for the environment. Beyond that, there is food on every surface, cutting boards all over the place, pots & pans are bubbling and occasionally overflowing, and a perfect trail of crumbs will lead you from the kitchen to my photo station every daggum time. I’m a monster! There is no such thing as cleaning as you go in these circumstances. It’s all about survival. Garrett has literally had to start busying himself while I’m working on recipes. Like, leave the house. He cannot handle the leaning tower of dirty dishes I construct in record breaking times.

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Once it’s safe for Garrett to return home, I always tell him what I’ve made and without fail his response is, “OMG, that sounds disgusting, when can I put it in my mouth?”

 

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of dry lentils, rinsed
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 carrot, peeled + sliced thin
  • 2 celery sticks, sliced thin
  • 1 red bell pepper, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs
  • 1/2 cup of rolled oats
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1 tbsp. of BBQ sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of fresh parsley
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of ranch seasoning
  • 1 tsp. of chipotle chili powder
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Ketchup

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Cook lentils according to package directions, drain
  • Meanwhile, heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add carrots + celery + red bell pepper + S+P, cook another 4-5 minutes
  • In a food processor, combine lentils + sauteed veggies + breadcrumbs + oats + tomato paste + BBQ sauce + soy sauce + parsley + crushed red pepper + cumin + oregano + ranch seasoning + chipotle chili powder, process until well combined
  • Spray a loaf pan with nonstick seasoning
  • Spread your lentil mix in an even layer in the loaf pan
  • Bake 40 minutes
  • Spread with some ketchup + bake for another 10 minutes
  • Serve hot w/ favie sides
  •  If feeling full of sorrow, feel empowered to drown them in as many helpings of lentil loaf it takes to feel happy + whole

 

Recipe adapted from here!

Fig Jam Pizza

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I wish I was 13 years old again and my greatest joy in life was learning a new cheat code in The Sims.

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I wasn’t a cool 13-year-old, OK?

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If I could calculate it, I’d likely discover I spent the better part of my adolescence behind a giant Dell computer screen making fictional families comprised of me, my school crushes and lots of children with my favorite names at the time – Juliet, Katarina, Trevor, etc.

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I’d build extravagant houses and paint all of the walls hot pink and lime green and fill the backyard with like 6 hot tubs. My character’s career path was ALWAYS music and I mastered the guitar in like 3 days and painted in my spare time. I always made my husband (better known as my 7th grade flavor of the week) a doctor and when, in real life, I decided I was totally over him and/or he got a girlfriend (more likely the case), I would make him cheat on me in the game so I could slap him and kick him out. Learning healthy relationship skills from the jump.

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The best was when I’d get bored with a family so I’d put them all in the house, remove the doors and watch them go nuts.

 

 

Time: 2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 pizza

Ingredients:

  • 2 lbs of figs, ends trimmed + sliced thin
  • 1 1/2 cup of sugar
  • 1/2 cup of lemon juice
  • 1 pizza crust
  • 2 cups of arugula
  • 1 onion, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine figs + sugar, coat + let sit for 15 minutes, stirring occassionally
  • Transfer figs to a pot + add lemon juice + 1 cup of water, bring to a boil
  • Turn heat down a bit, let simmer for 40-45 minutes, until jam is sticky + runny to your desire
  • If you want chunks, leave as is, if not, turn off heat + blend with an immersion blender
  • Transfer to a mason jar + refrigerate
  • Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 + heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion slice + S+P, let caramelize for 8-10 minutes, remove from pan
  • On a pizza crust, spread some jam + top with onion
  • Bake for 10 minutes or until crisp to your desire
  • Top with arugula + serve warm
  • Put a slice atop your head + run into the streets chanting “I gotta pizza on my head, but don’t call me a pizza head”

 

Fig jam adapted from here!

Vegan Eggplant Parm Sammies

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With the turn of the year, comes the turning of a new leaf.

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I’m going vegan. Without cheating.

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I’ve been 90% vegan since July with the OCCASIONAL slip. I’m a weak, worthless wimp, I know it. But THIS IS IT. My last hoorah was New Year’s Eve.

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I started out the day on a positive note, scraping some decadent-looking pecorino from my brunch. Then I arrived at Century Link Field to watch my baby Seahawks get they butts whooped and my emotions and hunger pangs were running rampant. My husband could see my dismay. Toward the end of 2nd quarter, up to the nosebleed section my knight walks with a piping hot Papa John’s. This is why I married him. Once I stuff my face, I have the energy to talk smack to the opposing team’s fan sitting next to me. I needed to cool off so I took a bathroom break. Then, I spy the Papa’s with my very own eyes. Mini Rachel angel and mini Rachel devil appear on my shoulder. Whose advice do you think I took?

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After my second personal pan pizza in 1 hour, I have decided I’m a sick, sick person.

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 sammies

Ingredients:

  • 1 eggplant, peeled + sliced thin
  • 3 roma tomatoes, washed + sliced 1/2 inch thick
  • 1 small onion, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of basil leaves
  • 1 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of walnuts
  • 1 cup of oats, finely ground
  • 2 tbsp. of flax meal
  • 1 cup of olive oil
  • Toasted ciabatta rolls, for serving
  • 1/2 cup of your favie marinara sauce
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 375
  • Arrange eggplant slices in a colander + sprinkle with salt + let drain for 30 minutes
  • Meanwhile, combine oats + flax + crushed red pepper + S+P in a bowl
  • Pat dry eggplant slices, dredge in oat mix + arrange on lined baking sheet, repeat (I needed to use three cookie sheets) + drizzle eat sheet with 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Bake for 15 minutes, flip + bake another 15 minutes
  • Meanwhile, arrange tomatoes + S+P on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + bake for 20 minutes
  • In a skillet over low-medium heat, add a tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add onion + S+P, let caramelize for 8-10 minutes, stirring often
  • Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine basil + nutritional yeast + walnuts + garlic + S+P, while processing drizzle in remaining olive oil
  • To serve, spread some marinara on one bun + some pesto on another + add eggplant slices + tomatoes + onion + make a sammie, repeat
  • Find machine to shrink self + arrange body in between buns to become one with sammie