Weeknight Pasta


Y’all know who Gomer Pyle is?


Not the lovable simpleton from Andy Griffith, I mean the Full Metal Jacket one.


Well, I have the esteemed privilege of waking up next to him each morning.


You see, Garrett had to shave his head for work. That perfectly sculpted head of lettuce he’s worked on for the last 5 years is no more. As the locks fell to the ground, so too did my tears. For in its place, stands the biggest bald head you ever did see. I obviously love him not matter how he looks, but it’s just a little shocking. He quickly came around a corner the other day and I screamed. The truth is, we met and fell in love when he was bald so I should really look at this as an opportunity to reminisce on the early years of Garrett and Rachel. Like when I introduced Garr to my father whose first response was, “The man looks like Gomer Pyle.”


And that was the moment I knew he was the one.



Time: 30 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4


  • 1 package of your favorite pasta
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cherry or grape tomatoes, rinsed + halved
  • 1/4 cup of sundried tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 tbsp. of capers
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Cook pasta to al dente, drain
  • Meanwhile heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cannellini beans + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes,
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add cherry tomatoes + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes until starting to soften slightly
  • Add sundried tomatoes + capers, cook another 2 minutes
  • Turn heat down, add spinach + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook down about 1-2 minutes
  • Add pasta + 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water, toss + cook 2-3 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Put on sweats + a face mask + plop your behind down on favie spot on the couch + devour two bowls of pasta before retiring to your chambers by 8pm

Pesto Spaghetti Squash


I did a bad thing.


Like, four years ago when I first started this whole thing, I posted a spaghetti squash recipe and pretended I liked it.


I lied to you. To all of you. It was heinous. The worst thing, to date, I’ve ever made, and certainly the worst I’ve ever fed another human. Garrett still talks about the spaghetti squash incident of 2014 with tears in his eyes.


I’ve literally not had this pasta imposter since. In fact, I’ve actively avoided it and told myself and others it is an overrated, garbage vegetable that should be boycotted at all costs. Then, I was at dinner the other night and my options were limited and I was forced to order a salad with crispy lil spaghetti squash noods on top and I DIDN’T HATE IT.  Could it be the spaghetti squash is just a moody, misunderstood veg? Maybe spaghetti squash just prefers not to be stuffed with multiple cheeses & slimy, horrific artichokes (these I actually do detest). I don’t blame it, tbh. It could also be I actually have no idea what I’m doing in the kitchen 93.5% of the time.


Spaghetti squash & I have redeemed ourselves and this household is once again full of believers!



Time: 1.5 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4


  • 1 spaghetti squash, halved + de-seeded
  • 2 cups of basil, rinsed
  • 1/4 cup of walnuts
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • Juice of 1 lemon
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • 1 can of canellinni beans, rinsed + drained
  • 2 cups of spinach
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper flakes
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place squash halves cut side up on a baking sheet
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast for 60 minutes
  • Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine basil + walnuts + nutritional yeast + 1 tbsp. of garlic + juice if 1/2 a lemon + 1/4 cup of olive oil + S+P, process until smooth, refrigerate until ready to use
  • Once squash is roasted + cooled, scrape out them noodles
  • Heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add shallots + S+P, cook 3 minutes
  • Add remaining garlic + crushed red pepper + oregano, cook another minute
  • Add cannellini beans + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add spinach + S+P, cook another 2 minutes
  • Add squash noodles + pesto + juice of the other 1/2 lemon, cook for 2 minutes, turn off heat
  • Slurp down a bowl of these bad boys + pour yourself another + keep ’em coming till you pass out

Pumpkin Mac & Cheese

Post sponsored by Sartori di Verona wines


Have I mentioned how pleased I am rom coms are back in style?


There’s something about the predictability of a good love story that fuels my basic life.


The very best is forcing my real life love to watch Hollywood love unfold.


We go to the movies like once every two years, as a rule. He just cannot handle sitting through two hours of a moving picture show while confined to the same chair. Plus, I am just not the best movie partner. I absolutely HAVE to sit in an aisle seat, in case of emergencies. I ALWAYS start a slow clap as the credits roll. I find it’s a real crowd pleaser. Additionally, I tend to throw rational perspective out the window when watching love stories. For example, after the last movie we went to, I left the theatre in tears (not unusual), but this time I was mute. I would not speak to Garrett. I was so angry that he even had the audacity to speak to me after such a moving tale. “I cannot be spoken to, I need time to PROCESS.” When I finally could form words, I spat out, “YOU DON’T LOVE ME ENOUGH,” and rolled over and went to sleep without smooching. Now that’s a love story you can hang your hat on, am I right?! IDK what that means. Lucky for muah, the peeps at Sartori Di Verona sent me a bottle of their Love Story Pinot Noir to perfectly complement our at-home movie nights. Plus, it’s like authentic and vintage Italian wine and I feel fancy as all GET OUT!


It’s really better this way – Garr can play musical chairs during the film and I can loud cry without the judgmental stares of strangers.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 package of pasta
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 can of pumpkin puree
  • 3/4 cup of raw cashews, soaked in warm water for 30 minutes + drained
  • 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of pumpkin pie spice
  • 1/2 tsp. of paprika
  • 1/2 tsp. of turmeric
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of sage, chiffonaded

How to:

  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a lil skillet
  • Add shallots + some S+P, cook for 2-3 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, process cashews in a food processor until totally crumbly
  • Add in shallots + garlic, process together
  • Add milk + nutritional yeast + red pepper + pumpkin pie spice + paprika + turmeric + S+P until combined
  • Add pumpkin puree, process until smooth, adjust seasoning to taste, set aside
  • Cook pasta to al dente, reserving 1/4 cup of the pasta water, + drain
  • Add pumpkin sauce to empty, warm pasta pan + add pasta back in, stir well + add the pasta water if necessary to thin
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in the shallot + garlic skillet
  • Add sage, cook 2-3 minutes or until fragrant
  • Serve warm with sage + a glass of Love Story
  • Serve to sweetie + hover over him asking whether or not he thinks any cheese is actually in this mac + cheese