Charred Veggie Ragu

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I’ve met someone.

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It’s serious, we’re very committed. I can’t imagine ever saying goodbye.

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To our cleaning woman.

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That’s not even a good enough title for her. Cleaning queen? Her majesty? Master of my heart and soul? I don’t even know, but I love her with my entire being. Used to, I would spend our entire Sundays cleaning the house. We could never really do anything on Sundays because it was always church, clean, nap, fold laundry. That was the rhythm. We sound fun, right? Well, after months of Garr begging to hire someone, claiming he refuses to scrub one more toilet (first world problems), I caved. And I will never look back. She came for the first time last week and FIRST THING SHE SAID was, “Do you have a ladder? I want to clean all of these ceiling fans. If not, I have one in the car.” *SWOON* I went to get some tea, so I was out of her way. I came back and she was on top of the kitchen counters cleaning above the cabinets. I proposed to her right then and there.

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Next, I plan to invest in a Honey I Shrunk the Kids device so I can shrink her and keep her in my pocket.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 onion, quartered
  • 5-6 portobello mushrooms, quartered
  • 2 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 2 carrots or 8 baby ones, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 package of cremini mushrooms, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of tomato paste
  • 1/2 cup of red wine
  • 1 package of papparedelle
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat broiler
  • Arrange onion + portobello + carrots + celery on a  parchment paper lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P
  • Roast for 20 minutes, tossing once
  • Once cooled, process in food processor until a paste-like consistency + a lil chunky
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add cremini mushrooms, cook 6-8 minutes
  • Add tomato paste + red wine, cook, stirring constantly for a minute
  • Add veggie paste + red pepper + S+P, cook another minute
  • Meanwhile, cook pasta to al dente, reserving 1 1/2 cups of cooking liquid
  • Add noodles straight to the ragu pan + 1/2 cup of liquid, tossing + cooking for a minute
  • Add another 1/2 cup, tossing until sauce starts to thin
  • Add another 1/2 cup if necessary to thin the sauce
  • Add some S+P + red pepper if desired
  • Serve warm

 

 

Adapted from here!

 

 

Pasta Fagioli

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I am not one to time my food posts with whatever made up national holiday it is like some of the *kewl* bloggers do.

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UNTIL TODAY, SUCKERS!!!! Take that, better bloggers!!!

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I mean, it was a complete accident, but apparently today is National Pasta Day.

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Like all of these fake holidays, I feel like the same ones come around 8 times a year. I’m not complaining. I try to celebrate things like tacos, cookies and pizza on the daily. I appreciate these excuses. But who started this? Like, who was the guy that was eating a nice seafood bisque one crisp autumn night and was like “Wow, yes, from now until the end of the time we, as a country, should celebrate seafood bisque on this day annually.” Seafood bisque day is 10/19, by the way. I was trying to think of what day I would create and immediately thought of the unsung hero of everyone’s favorite dish and also just the best vegetable there is – the onion. I Googled and SOMEONE ALREADY THOUGHT OF THIS, OF COURSE. At least my baby boos (onions) are getting their moment in the sun on June 27 of each year.

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Bless, there is even a day for the rutabaga, like when will this madness stop.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of pasta
  • 1 can of chickpeas
  • 1 can of cannellini beans
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 3 stalks of celery, chopped
  • 3 carrots, peeled + chopped
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic
  • 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
  • 1 container of vegetable broth
  • 1/4 cup of fresh basil, chiffonaded
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 tsp. of italian seasoning
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Add oil to whatever brand of quick pressure cooker you have + set to saute
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add celery + carrot + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add in pasta + tomatoes + vegetable broth + beans + red pepper + italian seasoning + S+P
  • Close the lid + pressure cook on high for 4 minutes, let the steam release naturally for 5 minutes, then flip the lil switch + let the rest of the steam release
  • Stir in basil + more S+P to your tastes
  • Serve warm
  • To cook on the stovetop, just saute your veg in a skillet over medium heat, add all ingredients except pasta from the pasta step (boil your pasta separately) + cook for like 20 minutes, then add pasta + basil + serve!
  • Contort body into shape of favorite noodle + have sweetie gently pour pasta fagioli around your body + become one with the dish

 

Adapted from here!

Quinoa + White Bean Puttanesca

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A thing I thoroughly enjoy is going to the movies.

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I really only do it like once in a blue moon.

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For one, it’s like $173 to catch a flick. For two, my husband hates going to the movies because it requires his full attention and complete stillness for two hours.

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My dad knows this truth and uses it to his dark advantages. Using voodoo magic and witchcraft, he convinces me to go see John Wick 3 with him while I was home last week. Obviously this is not a storyline I’m remotely interested in, but I wanted the movie-going experience and the fellowship with my father. Seeing as the last two movies I’ve seen have been in local, nonprofit theaters, I was overwhelmed upon entering a real multiplex. The sights, the smells. It’s truly thrilling! Although we’d just consumed our weight in chips and salsa, pops insists on a cola and popcorn. I’m appalled at his appetite. I’m all, “How can you eat anything else?!” He’s all, “Oh, please. It’s a part of the experience! What would you like?” I’m like, “Eww I don’t want anything…..but if I did, I’d want some chocolate.” He steps up to the counter and orders a triple play – popcorn, soda and a candy. He turns to me and says it’s my job to choose the candy. I panic! The choices are practically endless. Nothing is vegan. The line behind me is growing. I scream, “BUNCHA CRUNCH!!!” I’ve never seen my dad more disappointed in me in my entire life.

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Of course, I ate all of the nasty candy mixed with bites of popcorn (gotta have that salty & sweet bite, ya know) and I almost walked out of John Wick after he gouged a man’s eye out in the first 10 minutes.

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 red onion, diced
  • 2 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of cannellini beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of roasted red peppers, chopped
  • 1 pint of grape tomatoes, halved
  • 1 cup of spinach, packed
  • 2 tbsp. of capers, drained
  • 1/2 cup of basil, chiffonaded
  • 1 cup of quinoa, cooked
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add the beans, cook for 5 minutes
  • Add the diced tomatoes, bring to a simmer, reduce heat back to medium
  • Stir in peppers + tomatoes + capers, simmer another 5 minutes
  • Add spinach + basil + crushed red pepper + S+P, simmer 2 more minutes
  • Turn off heat + stir in cooked quinoa
  • Serve warm (or chilled – tastes great the next day)
  • Using a spoon as your slingshot, fling some of this food into your sweetie’s mouth + have him/her return the favor until you’re both fat + happy + covered in food

 

 

Adapted from here!