Cauli Rice Risotto with Fennel + Peas

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TELL ME some of you guys are following along with this slick crazy Instagram scavenger hunt engagement/wedding happening over the last few days.

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If not, allow me to fill you in with an abridged version.

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This Instagram influencer and her banker boyfriend are apparently getting engaged. Dude set up this wild scavenger hunt for her starting Tuesday and it’s literally still happening and she’s still not engaged or seen her beau. She went from NYC to the Hamptons to Miami and is now on her way to Paris. And she is posting every detail on her insta story and it’s gone viral Like, modern America, you gotta love it.

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I know this seems really exciting and thoughtful and romantic or something, but I have some questions. This gal has a 9-5 (supposedly), so is her boss really kewl with her just leaving work in the middle of a random Tuesday and not coming back for who only knows how long?? That must be one heck of a benefits package! Next, she doesn’t know where she’s going so doesn’t know what to pack. Literally one of my worst nightmares. I pack 12 outfits for one night because I can think of that many things that could go wrong, requiring backups. Additionally, she is on all of these planes and going, going, going, yet she shows absolutely no sign of travel bloat. I don’t buy it! Either she doesn’t eat or she is a specimen we need to lock up and study because the travel bloat is not something even the rich and famous can escape. Finally, this woman is getting showered with free gifts. Like, goodies are raining from the sky on her because of how big of a deal this is becoming. They are obvio already wealthy otherwise how is this happening in the first place, but now she’s getting free outfits and jewelry?! The cruel injustices of our social media-addicted world! Of which I am addicted.

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What happened to getting engaged on the porch of your boo’s house with your BFF stashed in a bush taking iPhone pix?? The good ‘ole days.

 

 

Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 head of cauliflower, grated into rice on a cheese grater
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, monced
  • 1/4 cup of dry white wine
  • 1/4 cup of vegetable broth
  • 6 tbsp. of walnuts
  • 3 tbsp. of nutritional yeast
  • 2 tbsp. of vegan buter
  • 1 fennel bulb, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of frozen peas
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Heat one tbsp. of olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add cauliflower, coat + cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Add wine, cook another 2 minutes
  • Add broth, cook another 5 minutes or until absorbed by the cauli rice
  • Meanwhile, heat the remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add fennel + S+P, cook 5-7 minutes
  • Meanwhile, pulse walnuts + nutritional yeast + some S+P in a food processor
  • Turn heat to low + add in walnut mix + butter + fennel + peas + crushed red pepper + S+P, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Eat 6 bowls of this back to back because it’s basically like eating air

 

Adapted from here!

Roasted Red Pepper + Broccoli Risotto

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Christmas tree is up, stockings are hung and a dozen holiday-scented candles are lit. Christmas time is here!

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I love how the holiday season reminds us of what’s really important.

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Like my uncanny resemblance to the Grinch.

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We relate on a really cerebral level, it’s just deep, man. Minus the anti-Christmas sentiments, we are practically twins. The secret language with our animals, the social anxiety, the love of raw onion, the motivation to publicly receive awards, it’s all there. Plus, I, too, have a standing 4 o’clock appointment to wallow in self-pity. I’m watching the movie now and he just said, “What if it’s a cruel prank? What if it’s a cash bar?” These are literally the only two things that cross my mind when I’ve been invited to a party or event.

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Also, I can do a near-perfect impersonation of the Grinch smile and it is a real crowd pleaser.

 

 

Time: 1 1/2 hours (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of arborio rice
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup of dry white wine
  • 6 cups of vegetable stock
  • 3 red peppers, tops lopped off
  • 2 heads of broccoli, cut in florets
  • 3 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1/4 cup of nutritional yeast + more for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange peppers on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Arrange the broccoli florets on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Roast veggies for 20 minutes, toss, roast another 10, remove broccoli, stir peppers again, cook until blackened on almost all sides
  • Meanwhile, heat remaining olive oil in a large stock pot over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add rice, stir to coat + toast for a minute
  • Turn down heat to low-med, add wine, stir + let rice absorb
  • Add stock, one ladle at a time, stirring constantly until each ladle full is absorbed, repeat until rice is tender, about 40 minutes
  • Once peppers are cool, remove skin + chop peppers up
  • Once rice is tender, add roasted veggies + nutritional yeast + crushed red pepper + some S+P
  • Serve warm with some extra nutritional yeast
  • Roll up leftovers into lil balls + hang from your tree for a lil extra pizazz this Christmas

Drunken Beet Risotto

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Drumroll please…………

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Next stop: North Carolina.

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I honestly can not even remember if I’ve ever been to this state. Something tells me I have, but I truly have no recollection. If this is any indication of how memorable the place is, we’re in trouble.

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What is NC even known for? What is a Tar Heel? It sounds like a lame bird. Is there more to the state than Nascar and moonshine because that’s what my mind immediately goes to and was confirmed when I googled “what is North Carolina known for?” What about famous people? How likely is a spotting? What are the chances I can get discovered here? From what I can tell, the biggest star from the state is Andy Griffith, and while I respect the man’s craft, we’re slightly different genres.

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Really just keeping my eye on the prize that for the first time in almost 20 years, I won’t be living directly on top of a major fault line. Bingo!

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of arborio rice
  • 2 beets, washed
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 1 white onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cup of red wine (I used a cab)
  • 6 cups of vegetable stock
  • 1 tbsp. of vegan butter
  • 1 cup of frozen peas
  • 1 tbsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • Basil, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Drizzle beets with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + some S+P
  • Wrap each beet in a lil piece of foil + place on baking sheet
  • Roast for 25-30 minutes
  • Meanwhile, heat stock in a lil sauce pan over low-medium heat
  • Meanwhile x2, heat remaining olive oil in a dutch oven over low-medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 4-5 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add rice, coat in onions + cook another minute
  • Add wine, let reduce 3-4 minutes, stirring often
  • Now add warm stock one ladle at a time, stirring until rice absorbs it
  • Repeat until rice is tender
  • Once rice is almost done + the beets are cooled, remove skin + chop
  • Stir in beets + butter + crushed red pepper + S+P
  • Add peas, cook another 2-3 minutes
  • Serve warm with fresh basil
  • Put on Barney repeats + enjoy the fact that your dinner looks like Baby Bop