Lemon Tarts

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In a galaxy far, far away lives the version of myself that used to be fun.

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There was a time when I was the life of the party!

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That’s a lie, my social anxiety has always kept me from obtaining that title.

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But I could hang! I mean, in WA, Garr and I used to start a Saturday with a fab brunch & spend the next 8 hours exploring & shopping & eating & listening to live music & doing photoshoots & stumbling upon random festivals & strolling by the water. Fast forward like 1.5 years & Garr and I go to Raleigh for the day, thinking it’ll be like our wild Seattle days. NAHT. We kick things off with brunch, old faithful. Turns out, this place makes all vegan desserts. Mmkay. So we order a peanut butter pie. At 11am. MISTAKE. We immediately need to be tucked in for a nap. But we must persevere! We decide to walk around downtown and find some coffee. This helps but only momentarily. We’re fading. It’s 12:30pm. We try to shop but nothing is catching our eye. We try to stop and grab a drink at this really hip restaurant but there are no seats at the bar. The world is conspiring against us! We’re at a crossroads, we can power through or we can embrace our aging, failing bodies and ditch the downtown scene, go to Trader Joe’s and go home for a siesta. 

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Got to TJ’s in time to snag ALLLLL the cauliflower gnocchis. Holler.

 

 

Time: 3 hours (prep + baking) | Serves: 12 tarts

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened, shredded cocount
  • 1 cup of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tbsp. of coconut sugar
  • 1 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup of coconut oil
  • 1 cup of raw almonds, soaked overnight or placed in a bowl + covered in boiling water, letting soak for 30 minutes-hour, drained
  • Juice of 2 lemons
  • 2 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • Pinch of turmeric
  • 1/4 cup of coconut milk
  • Pinch of S
  • Blueberries + raspberries for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine coconut + flour + sugar + 2 tbsp. of the coconut oil + the S, pulse until well combined + sticks together
  • Scoop a tbsp. of the crust mix in lined muffin tins + press flat
  • Bake for 10 minutes
  • Meanwhile, rinse out food processor
  • Add remaining coconut oil + almonds + lemon juice + agave + vanilla extract + turmeric, process + slowly pour in coconut milk, process until smooth + creamy
  • Scoop 1-2 tbsp. of lemon filling onto each crust + smooth it out
  • Freeze for 2 hours
  • Serve chilled with fruit on top
  • Take a giant bite out of a tart + smile as wide as the dent you made in it + snap a selfie with your tart + make it your profile picture

 

Adapted from here!

 

 

 

Cinnamon Sugar Bliss Bites

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I got my locks trimmed this week.

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I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I look like a big-nosed Jennifer Aniston and there’s nothing you can say to bring me down.

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Like, I wish cameras could follow me around for just like the first 6 days after I have my hair done. I’m feeling myself something FIERCE right now. I don’t know why I don’t get trims more often. It’s like getting a spray tan. I instantly get cuter. It’s incredible.

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I’m just all about the mermaid hair these days. The longer, the better. The ultimate goal is to put on a seashell bra, tie my legs together, crawl onto a rock, and sing show tunes while the wind blows my mermaid hair to and fro.

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Must go be vain on another platform – see ya.

 

 

 

Time: 40 minutes (prep + baking) | Serves: 12-15 bites

Ingredients:

  • 8 dates, pitted
  • 1 cup of rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 2 tsp. of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup of granulated sugar

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine dates + oats + applesauce + baking powder + 1 tsp. of the cinnamon + vanilla extract
  • Process until the dough comes together in a clump
  • Form into lil balls
  • In a bowl, combine sugar + remaining cinnamon
  • Roll balls in sugar + arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Squash balls with the back of a spoon until they’re kinda flat
  • Bake for 10 minutes
  • Sprinkle with a tiny bit of remaining sugar stuff
  • Serve warm
  • By serve I mean shove them into pie hole straight from the baking sheet

 

Idea came from here, but they taste nothing like snickerdoodles lawlz: http://www.feastingonfruit.com/vegan-snickerdoodles-oil-free-gluten-free/

 

Orange + Cranberry + Rosemary Bread

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I have done it! I have discovered the sketchiest bar in all of America!

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Who knew that behind the doors of the bowling alley was a gloriously cheap full bar????

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I always knew you could get a pitcher of terrible beer and some hot dogs, but a full bar complete with extraordinary people watching??? Revolutionary.

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Why did we stop hanging out there? It was the most happening hang out at one time. Would things have been different if we had known what the bowling alley would one day become? $4 vodka drinks, people. $4!!!!!!

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I still need bumpers while bowling, but what of it?

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 1 loaf of bread

Ingredients:

  • 2 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2/3 cup of sugar
  • 2 tsp. of fresh rosemary, chopped
  • 1 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
  • Pinch of salt
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 cup of olive oil
  • 1/2 cup of fat-free vanilla yogurt
  • Juice of 2 oranges
  • 1 tbsp. of orange zest
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of baking cranberries

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • In a large bowl, combine ingredients through salt
  • In another bowl, combine eggs through vanilla extract
  • Whisk in the wet ingredients to the dry
  • Fold in cranberries
  • Spread batter in a greased bread pan
  • Bake for 40 minutes
  • Serve warm
  • Wrap up in a bow + give to a pal don’t be selfish + eat the entire loaf like I did