Sweet + Spicy Brussels Sprouts Tacos

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I just feel really seen.

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Like, the people I surround myself with really just get me and accept me for who I am.

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As confirmed at my BFF Christmas party during our traditional round of Secret Santa when I opened the most Rachel gift I ever could have dreamed of.

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A hot pink karaoke microphone. Bazinga! Now that’s a thoughtful gift, I tell you. I’m not sure how I made it 27 years without one already. It’s just so daggum handy. We were watching music videos all evening and I was able to sing into my new microphone at a higher volume than my peers thereby drowning out their voices and letting me hear myself better. It obviously has bluetooth so I can play music through it and sing along to my favorite artists or, as intended, to instrumental versions of hits so I can really shine. For some reason, I don’t sound as good on Rehab when dueting with Amy Winehouse. It was also really useful on Christmas Eve when my family played this game where you had to say stupid phrases in equally stupid accents. The echo effect on the mic proved most helpful.

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If your Christmas was half as pleasant as mine, you, my friend, are a lucky lil kitten.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, ends trimmed + brussels halved
  • 1/2 red onion, diced
  • 1/2 small red cabbage, sliced thin
  • 1 can of vegan refried beans
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 tbsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste
  • Tortillas, for serving
  • Cilantro, for serving
  • Avocado, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet
  • Drizzle with olive oil + hot sauce + some S+P
  • Roast 15 minutes, remove + drizzle with agave, roast another 10-15 until crisp to your desire, remove
  • Meanwhile, heat beans in a lil pot
  • To serve, spread a couple of warm tortillas with some refried beans + fill with brussels sprouts + red onion + cabbage + top with cilantro + avocado + drizzle with lime juice
  • Form taco boat with hand + sail these bad boys straight into hole in your face

Barley + Brussels Bowls

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I don’t consider myself super vain.

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Just, like, a normal amount of vain.

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So this afternoon, when I discovered a glistening gray hair atop my head, my meltdown was only like an 8/10.

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I’m only 27, I have barely even lived! I simply don’t have the required wisdom to rock the salt and pepper look. I only recently came to grips with the mousy brown ‘do I’ve sported my entire life, it’s too soon for a change! I’m always in awe of women who rock their gray – they are always so gorgeous and confident and I idealize them. I want to be them one day. That day is just not today. I’m also not really interested in dying my hair. Can I dye a single strand? It legit looks like a silver Christmas tassle dangling from my noggin. I just don’t know what could have caused this. My diet and exercise haven’t changed and I have been in a perpetual state of crippling anxiety for 10 years now, so I can’t blame it on an increase in stress. Perhaps it’s time I come to grips with my mortality and embrace my old age.

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Specifically, I look most forward to finally receiving the early bird specials at my favorite chain restaurants.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of barley
  • 1 lb. of brussels sprouts, trimmed + halved
  • 1 honey crisp apple, peeled + cut in small chunks
  • 2 shallots, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of edamame, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of pumpkin seeds, toasted
  • 1/4 cup of dried cranberries
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Cook barley according to package directions
  • Arrange brussels sprouts on a lined baking sheet + drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + sprinkle with S+P, bake for 15 minutes, remove from oven, toss with agave + bake another 10 minutes
  • Arrange apple + shallots on another lined baking sheet + drizzle with remaining olive oil + smoked paprika + S+P, bake 15 minutes, tossing once in the middle
  • Meanwhile, reduce vinegar in a lil sauce pan
  • To serve, combine barley + brussels + apples + shallots + edamame + pumpkin seeds + cranberries + stir with balsamic vinegar
  • Serve warm or room temp
  • Put baggiest sweater on + swaddle self in scarf, pour mug of hot tea + sit by a roaring fire with your sweetie, tossing brussels into one another’s pie holes

Shiitake Grain Bowls

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I have a new friend!

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She arrived to town on Sunday and it looks she’ll be sticking around for a while.

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It’s a giant growth on my face and I call her Rita.

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We went to a baseball game on Saturday. It was a gorgeous spring day in Seattle. Sunshine everywhere. I did not put on my SPF moisturizer that morning for fear it’d react with my self-tanner. (I should really start thinking about my priorities – perhaps skin health > tan.) However, I did purchase a baseball cap with high hopes I could pull it off (false) and wore it 83% of the day. I truly thought I struck a nice balance. I wake up Sunday morning and just brush my hand against my cheek. I feel a giant glob on my cheek…that wasn’t there yesterday….. I trace the perimeter of the mass and discover it’s the size of a modest spaceship. WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?! Literally, I BARELY touch it (still in bed at this point) and it explodes water. I run, screaming, to the bathroom to survey the damage and staring back at me is a gaping hole in my cheek. Oh, Rachel, as if you needed to draw more attention to that face.

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Two days later and it’s starting to scab. Just looks like someone dragged my face across a gravel road. How’s your appetite?

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 bowls

Ingredients:

  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1/2 lb. of shiitake mushrooms, chopped
  • 1/2 lb. of brussels sprouts, halved
  • 1 parsnip, peeled + chopped
  • 1 can of chickpeas, drained + rinsed
  • 1 bunch of asparagus, ends trimmed
  • 1 cup of farro, uncooked
  • 1/4 cup of soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp. of agave
  • 4 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a bowl, combine soy sauce + dijon mustard + garlic + agave + 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Add the tempeh + shiitakes to the sauce, let marinate while your other veggies roast
  • Arrange asparagus on a lined baking sheet, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive + S+P, bake 12 minutes-14 minutes, stirring once
  • On another lined baking sheet, arrange brussels sprouts + chickpeas + parsnips, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P, bake 14-16 minutes, tossing once
  • While veggies roast, cook farro according to package directions
  • While roasted veggies cool slightly, heat remaining oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + mushrooms + cook for 5-7 minutes, or until tempeh is crisp to your desire
  • To serve, combine farro + tempeh + mushrooms + asparagus + brussels mix + avocado
  • Don’t forget to feed some with face friends like Rita