Vegan Sloppy Joes

fullsizeoutput_848

I did it. I’ve taken the plunge.

fullsizeoutput_830

I’ve done a swan dive into the deep blue sea that is finally binge watching Friends.

fullsizeoutput_831

Why has it taken me this long, you ask? Oh, I don’t know. I’m just not big on conforming.

fullsizeoutput_841

This isn’t true. I love rules and following order. 10 seasons of anything is just such a big commitment. Who has the time? Who can stand to see this exquisitely cast ensemble in timeless situations? Who wants to just be blissfully ignorant of the world’s turmoil for perfectly carved out 20 minute blocks of time? Well, everyone unless you are a space alien or someone with a really radical social life. It’s just such a darn good program, ya know? I always LOVED having the same name as Jennifer Aniston’s character. My dad used to tell me, “They gave the prettiest girl the prettiest name.” This gave me a complex for a long time, but man, did I love hearing it! And the CLOTHES! My mother dressed just like them in the 90s and I idolized her style. I wish it was still acceptable for women in their mid to late 20s to sport their bare midriff in any and every situation. How freeing.

fullsizeoutput_845

It’s nice watching on Netflix because every like 3 episodes it judges me and asks if I’m still watching.

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4

Ingredients:

  • 1 can of kidney beans, rinsed + drained
  • 1/2 cup of lentils, cooked
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 12 oz. can of tomato sauce
  • 6 oz. can of tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of apple cider vinegar
  • 1 tbsp. of chili powder
  • 1 tbsp. of cumin
  • 1 tsp. of oregano
  • 1 tsp. of smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • S+P, to taste
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • Buns for serving

How to:

  • Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add onion + S+P, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add garlic, cook another minute
  • Add green pepper, cook 3-4 minutes
  • Add tomato sauce + paste + soy sauce + apple cider vinegar + chili powder + cumin + oregano + paprika + red pepper + S+P, bring to a lil boil, turn down heat + simmer for 7-8 minutes
  • Add beans + lentils, cook another 3-4 minutes
  • Serve on toasted buns
  • Strap on your bib + pull that hair in your nastiest top knot + just smash your face in a large plate of this

 

 

Grilled Veggie Clubs

fullsizeoutput_28f

I am equal parts intrigued and wigged out by these DNA tests we all keep doing.

fullsizeoutput_27a

Like, I spit in a tube and you all found 83 people that could be my third cousins. I’m just not understanding how this is possible.

fullsizeoutput_27c

What does one use as an opening line to someone that may or not be related to you based on saliva compatibility alone?

fullsizeoutput_27f

It is pretty interesting to finally know from where my peeps hail. No surprising results. I’m mostly English with some French and Norwegian mixed in. A splash of Irish/Scottish with even less German. However, I’m really holding tight to my 2% Greek and 1% Middle Eastern. Like, I will absolutely be claiming those. The best is I legit grew up thinking I was like 75% Italian and have told everyone that’s my background for as long as I can remember. Nope nada, can’t even fake it up in a Carrabba’s Italian Grill (no hate, their spaghetti is dope).

fullsizeoutput_281

Now I need to know – what do they do with my spit once they’re done testing it?¿

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4 sammies

Ingredients:

  • 1 eggplant, peeled + sliced thin into rounds
  • 1 zucchini, sliced length-wise, thin
  • 1 squash, sliced length-wise, thin
  • 1 english cucumber, sliced thin
  • 1-2 roma tomatoes, sliced thin
  • 1 red pepper, roasted or 1/2 cup of store-bought roasted red peppers
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin
  • 1 cup of spinach
  • 12 slices of toasted bread (ezekiel bread used here)
  • 1/4 cup stone-ground mustard
  • 1/2 cup of hummus
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Salt your eggplant rounds + place in a strainer, let water release for about 20-25 minutes, pat dry
  • Heat your grill or grill pan over medium heat + spray with cooking spray
  • Sprinkle eggplant + zucchini + squash with S+P, grill for 3-4 minutes on each side, flipping once
  • To assemble, spread some hummus on a slice of bread + top with a slice of eggplant + some zucchini + some squash + roasted red peppers
  • Spread mustard on both sides of another piece of bread + place on top
  • Add cucumbers + tomato + avocado + spinach
  • Spread some hummus on another slice of bread + place that on top, hummus down
  • Repeat with remaining sammies
  • Stick some toothpicks in the four corners of the sammies
  • Cut diagonally into fourths, making sure a toothpick remains in each fourth
  • Serve room temp or warm
  • Unhinge jaw + wrap mouth around this bad boy + enjoy all the crunchy fresh goodness that is about to happen up in there

Apricot + Caper Jam Grilled Cheese

9F8C5BDE-FD5D-4872-9ECD-7E06AFDE9506

A thing we should have done 4 years ago:

6D94176A-7CC0-4DFD-85A3-9A4B3693D9B0

Invest in a king bed.

EBAF9204-8381-4040-9DAC-7702C5E71D4E

Truly, how has our marriage survived up until this point?

C8BEF1CC-5ECD-416E-9BCB-A07A0AB8C982

It’s not that we don’t love cuddling. We’re a big cuddling couple. We cuddle watching tv, cuddle while we read, cuddle while we scroll through our phones looking at memes and food pix. But when it’s time for night night, it’s time for night night. We go our separate ways. It’s an absolute no limb touching zone. If a toe crosses the border and caresses a calf, it’s like Mortal Kombat 7. Hence the need for a ginormous king bed. It’s basically like  having three lil twin beds all connected. One for Garr, one for me & Topanga has one all to herself!

B750A065-8D93-41E2-B6CB-F27845C35452

Now if only the bed frame would arrive & we could lift our mattress off the floor and stop living like frat boys.

 

 

Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 6 grilled cheeses

Ingredients:

  • 1 loaf of crusty bread, sliced
  • 3 cups of arugula, packed
  • 6 slices of vegan pepper jack cheese
  • 1/2 cup of vegan cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup of vegan butter
  • 20 dried apricots
  • 1 tbsp of capers
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon mustard
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • In a sauce pan, add apricots + just enough water to cover
  • Bring to a boil, turn off + remove from heat
  • Mix in capers + dijon mustard + oil + some S+P
  • Add to a food processor + pulse until chunky but spreadable
  • Refrigerate until you’re ready to cook
  • Spread one side of a piece of bread with butter + the other with cream cheese, repeat with all breads
  • On the cream cheese side, spread some jam + top with cheese + arugula + another piece of bread, cream cheese side down, repeat with all sandwiches
  • Add a lil butter to a skillet over medium heat
  • Cook sammies for 2-3 minutes on each side
  • Serve hot
  • Dip sammie into vat of jam, use sammie to trace jam heart on face + get self portraits made