Sushi Bowls


I have a thing with sushi.


And not in the normal, upper middle class female sort of way. Like, I can’t handle it.


Don’t get me wrong. I used to love it. There is this fried sushi roll at this basic as heck place in Memphis that I used to TEAR UP.


Right when we got to WA, we searched for the best sushi in town and FOUND IT. It was so dope. One night we went out and ordered no joke $100 worth of sushi and just gorged until we puked. No, really, I puked it all up. There is something about seaweed coming back up that just turns you off, ya know?? Since then, I have avoided the little round delights like the plague. But I don’t want to live this way forever! I dream of a world where I’m able to enter my sketchy sushi place in Memphis, dine on a tornado roll and not gag. These bowls were a step in the right direction. One lil sheet of seaweed cut in tiny strips. I only avoided 82% of the strips as I ate these bowls…


And now I have four more sheets of the stuff & it gawks at me every time I open the pantry.




Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 2-3


  • 2 cups of brown rice
  • 3 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 2 tsp. of soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp. of agave
  • 1 sheet of nori (seaweed)
  • 2 cups of edamame, cooked
  • 1 carrot, shredded with a veggie peeled
  • 1/2 an english cucumber, cut into matchsticks
  • 1 avocado, sliced thin
  • 1 tbsp. of vegan mayo
  • 1/2 a tbsp. of sriracha

How to:

  • Cook rice according to package directions
  • Meanwhile, heat rice vinegar + soy sauce + agave in a lil sauce pan over medium heat + cook until agave is dissolved
  • As rice is almost done cooking, add in vinegar mix + finish cooking
  • Meanwhile, combine mayo + sriracha + refrigerate until you’re ready to use
  • Meanwhile, toast nori in a dry skillet over low-medium heat, flipping once after about 3 minutes, remove + crumble into lil bits
  • To serve, put some rice in a bowl + top with nori bits + edamame + carrot + cucumber + avocado + some sriracha mayo, serve warm or chilled
  • Mix all of that goodness up, grab a pair of chopsticks + count how many chopstick lifts it takes you to finish this meal, my guess is 163



Adapted from here!

Apricot + Sriracha Glazed Tempeh Bowls


Let us add skiing to the running list of activities I am incredibly dismal at.


I did worse than even I expected of myself.


Think inebriated baby giraffe tries to stand for the first time.


We get to the resort, I get all suited up – my pants came with cayyutttteeeeee suspenders! I’m feelin’ myself. I don’t rent a helmet because, like, I’m not going to be doing anything crazy enough to hit my head. I get out on the powder (as we mountain people call it) and scoot in my skis a couple of times & immediately tumble to the earth. It is there I think, “you idiot, get a helmet.” So once I’m locked into noggin armor, I get back in the skis, but am now unable to move. I am, however, skilled at sliding backwards, but apparently that’s not how it works. A few minutes of that and I think, I could keep doing this or I could be in the heated lodge…….


I found my people indoors at the hot toddy bar.



Time: 1 hour (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4-6


  • 1 package of tempeh, cubed
  • 1 cup of apricot preserves
  • 1 tbsp. of sriracha
  • 4 tbsp. of soy sauce
  • 1/3 cup of apple cider vinegar
  • 5 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1 cup of edamame
  • 1/2 cup of almonds, slivered
  • 1/2 cup of green onion, diced
  • 20 wontons, cut into strips
  • 2 cups of quinoa, cooked
  • 1/4 cup of natural peanut butter
  • 1/4 cup of water
  • 2 tbsp. of rice vinegar
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400
  • In a bowl, combine apricot preserves + sriracha + 2 tbsp. of soy sauce + apple cider vinegar + 3 tbsp. of garlic
  • Add tempeh to the bowl + toss to coat, refrigerate until you’re ready to cook it
  • Toss wonton strips with 1 tbsp. olive oil + S+P, arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Bake for 12-15 minutes, tossing once
  • Meanwhile, in a food processor, combine peanut butter + remaining soy sauc + remaining garlic + rice vinegar + water until thin enough to drizzle
  • Heat remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add tempeh + cook for 6-7 minutes until crisp to your desire – be careful! The glaze can burn
  • To serve, combine quinoa + edamame + green onion + almonds + wontons + tempeh + drizzle with peanut sauce
  • Restrain your hands because you are going to want to slap yo mama this bowl is so good


Glaze adapted from here:

& sauce:

Crab Cake Bennies

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I think I know how to unite our broken society.

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We need a new viral social media challenge.

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I miss the days of watching my internet pals flail as ice water is poured on their heads. The days when groups of people would stand still pretending to be mannequins while that terrible song played in the background. And let us not forget about the cinnamon challenge – a classic!

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The internet was a much happier place back then. Collectively, we were a happy-go-lucky bunch. Now we’re just a bunch of stiffs! What if we started planking again? That was a great year for me, personally. I planked on a neighbor’s trash can &, though a low point, I have no regrets. Oh, or we could start stacking the Cheerios on baby foreheads again!!!! THAT was a crowd pleaser.

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I’ll do anything just make the politics go far, far away.



Time: 12 hours (all prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4


  • 8 oz. lump crab meat
  • 1/2 cup of italian breadcrumbs
  • 1/2 cup of mayo
  • 1 tbsp. of dijon
  • 1tbsp. of low sodium soy sauce
  • 1 tsp. of hot sauce
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
  • 1 cup of polenta
  • 2 tbsp. of parmigiano-reggiano
  • 4-6 eggs for poaching
  • 1 tbsp. of white vinegar
  • Sriracha or hollandaise, for serving
  • S+P, to taste
  • 2 tbsp. of olive oil

How to:

  • The night before, cook polenta according to package directions
  • Stir in parm-reg + S+P
  • Spread flat on a plastic wrap-lined baking dish + cover with another sheet of plastic wrap
  • Refrigerate over night
  • In the morning, combine crab + breadcrumbs + mayo + dijon + soy sauce + hot sauce + beaten egg + crushed red pepper + S+P
  • Cover + refrigerate for at least 20 minutes
  • Meanwhile, cut your polenta into lil circles using a round glass
  • Heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Add polenta cakes, cooking on each side for 4-5 minutes or until golden brown to your desire
  • Form crab mix into cakes
  • Heat other tbsp. of olive oil in the same skillet
  • Cook crab cakes on either side for 3-4 minutes or until golden to your desire
  • Bring a pot of salted water to a boil
  • Turn down the heat to a slow boil + add vinegar
  • Make a lil whirlpool + drop an already cracked egg into the center
  • Cook 3 minutes + remove with a slotted spoon + place on a paper towel-lined plate
  • Assemble bennie by placing a crab cake on top of a polenta cake, topping with a poached egg + drizzling with Sriracha
  • Smash schnoz into egg + let the yolk ooze errrrwhere