Savory Pancakes


How can I continue wearing the Hostess with the Mostest crown in good conscience when I suck at entertaining?


My dad came to visit for my 28th birthday.


I don’t want a single Happy Birthday message from a one of ya, I mean it! We’re not acknowledging it.

fullsizeoutput_966I was so pumped for his visit. I couldn’t wait to just do all of the fun things with him. It wasn’t until I picked him up from the airport that I realized I had forgotten to plan literally anything for us to do. Like, not a THING on the agenda to entertain this man. After a quick panic attack, we talk about the possibilities over dinner and decide to just hang loose. Just kick back, hang and relax. And when all else fails, I pride myself on choosing excellent dining locales. So I didn’t plan any exciting outings, I can book a dinner reservation like a grand champion! We’re both feeling good about the next few days when our gyoza appetizer is served. Undercooked and untasty (not a word, but appropriate). An omen, if you will, for what would be the worst meals I ever forced a loved one to eat. It was horrendous. All my favorite local spots disappointed. Soggy shrimps, dry pork shanks, taste-less beef burritos – all of this was his, obviously. I had to take the man to dessert every night just to make up for it. I try to limit his sweets intake, but I had to go against my principles just to keep him nourished!fullsizeoutput_96e

He politely told me he would only be back if we dined exclusively at chain restaurants he was confident in.



Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 3-4


  • 1 1/4 cups of all-purpose flour
  • 2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1/4 cup of green onions, chopped
  • 2 tbsp. of chives, chopped
  • 1/2 tsp. of cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. of turmeric
  • 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened dairy free milk
  • 1/2 a tomato, diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 1 cup of plain almond milk yogurt
  • 5 tbsp. of olive oil
  • S+P, to taste

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • Place garlic cloves on a square of foil, drizzle with 1 tbsp. of olive oil + wrap up in the foil
  • Roast for 20-25 minutes
  • Once cooled, combine garlic + yogurt + 1 tbsp. of olive oil + S+P in a lil food processor + pulse until smooth
  • Refrigerate until ready to serve
  • Meanwhile, whisk together flour + baking powder + cumin + turmeric + herbs + S+P
  • Make a well in the center, add milk + 2 tbsp. of olive oil + tomato, combine well
  • Add remaining olive oil in a skillet over medium heat
  • Scoop 1/2 cup of batter into the skillet + cook for about 3 minutes or until bubbles start to form, flip + cook another 3 minutes
  • Repeat with remaining batter
  • Serve warm with garlic whip
  • Gather pals + take to a park + play ultimate savory pancake, winner eats all


Adapted from here!

Peanut Butter + Pretzel Crepes


So how can the government just be, like, ~shut down~?


Don’t we elect these officials to govern?


Isn’t that a little hard to do when the elected officials shut down the government…?


Perhaps I’m simplifying things. I don’t know anything about politics. I don’t believe in them, as a rule. I just wonder what our representatives are doing up there in DC this last, I don’t know, month or so? I imagine them roping off little sections of the Capitol for various game stations. There’s obviously a poker table with a professional dealer and  those little see through poker visors. Then there are your classics – Monopoly, Scrabble, Operation, etc. For those inclined to keep the mind agile during the shutdown, there are puzzles and crosswords, too. For our more active ladies and gents, there’s a couple of Twister mats and Bop-Its. They’ve gotta pass the time somehow.


Honestly, I wonder if they could use some of the funds they’re saving not paying federal employees and pay to live stream this thing.


Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: 4


  • 1 1/2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 3 tbsp. of brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. of baking powder
  • 2 cups of flax milk
  • 1 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 1 tbsp. of olive oil
  • 6 tbsp. of peanut butter
  • 1 cup of pretzels, crumbled
  • 1 pint of raspberries, rinsed
  • 1 tbsp. of lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp. of pure cane sugar

How to:

  • In a bowl, combine flour + brown sugar + baking powder + milk + extract + olive oil, mix well
  • Heat a large skillet sprayed with nonstick oil over medium heat
  • Meanwhile, combine raspberries + lemon juice + sugar + 2 tbsp. of water in a sauce pan, bring to a boil, reduce + simmer for a few minutes, remove from heat
  • Strain raspberry sauce if you don’t want seeds, but it won’t be as thick that way
  • Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup of batter at a time, spreading it in a thin, layer all around the bottom of the pan, cook 2-3 minutes, flip + cook another 2 minutes, remove + repeat with batter
  • To serve, spread 1 tbsp. of peanut butter on one half of the crepe + top with a handful of pretzel crumbles + top with a lil raspberry drizzle, roll up + top with more raspberry drizzle, serve warm, room temp or cold
  • Grab a couple of these handheld babies + do the hokey pokey all around the kitchen


Crepe batter from here!

Blueberry Pancakes

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I made Garrett do yoga with me tonight.

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I need to set the scene for you.

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My husband is the ultimate hunk-asaurus. He’s just a built, beautiful, big ole bear of a man. He’s full of energy and is literally always moving. Even when relaxing, he’s moving, i.e. biting his nails, shaking his legs, tapping his toes – the man cannot sit still.

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Lately he’s been talking about needing to stretch more. I capitalized on this opportunity by suggesting an activity I can beat him at – YOGA!!! Marriage is fun. Anyways, we’re all set. We’re on our mats (the carpet) and our minds are right. I turn the video on and the nice little woman calls us sweet little muffins or something and he bursts into a giggle fit and threatens to quit. I pull him back in, though, and we’re rolling. We’re in mountain pose and he starts bouncing. I’m all “stop moving & breathe!” and he is all “I can’t I love mountain pose!!!!” Happy baby pose is also a crowd favorite. I’m thinking this could be our new thing when all of a sudden, the toots start to roll in. My bubble of zen has popped.

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We finish the session and he’s like, “wow yeah I think I just found my chi.” He doesn’t know what that means and still cannot pronounce namaste.


Time: 45 minutes (prep + cooking) | Serves: Like a dozen cakeypans!


  • 2 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 2 tsp. of baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp. of baking soda
  • 1 tsp. of cinnamon
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 cup of blueberry Greek yogurt (I even used the kind with REAL BLUEBERRRRRRIEESSS)
  • 1 1/2 cups of skim milk
  • 1/4 cup of maple syrup
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tsp. of vanilla extract
  • 3 tbsp. of butter, melted + cooled
  • 2 cups of fresh blueberries, rinsed

How to:

  • In a large bowl, combine flour + baking powder + baking soda + cinnamon + salt
  • In another bowl, combine yogurt + milk + syrup + eggs + vanilla
  • Pour the wet ingredients into the dry + whisk
  • Whisk in butter
  • Fold in blueberries
  • Coat a skillet with cooking spray + heat over just under medium heat
  • Using a 1/4 cup scoop, scoop some batter into the pan
  • Cook until lil bubbles start to form in the top + flip, cook another 2 minutes
  • Repeat
  • Stack cakeypans as high as possible + body slam self of top of pile + let them explode everywhere


Y’all know I can’t bake. Adapted from this!