Buffalo Chickpea Burgers

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I’ve had this thing for like 6 months. Occasionally, I feel like I can’t breath or swallow & I think I’m going to choke & die. It’s been fun, really.

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This weekend I had a dream that I was choking & I woke up literally choking. Let that sink in & tell me you would not FLIP YOUR LID. I would die & Topanga would probably eat my lifeless body before anyone found me. Moving on. So I made a doctor appointment. Enough is enough. Fix me, medical professionals.

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So I go in. He checks things out. Asks some questions. Looks down my throat & is all, “nope – nothing there.” & I’m like, “ok, ok, but listen to my lungs – I can’t BREATHE!” & he is all, “clear as a bell!” & I’m all, “…….k………………………”

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I get quiet for a minute & then it hits me. I suggest, “Perhaps I’m making it all up in my head.” & Doc is like, “Wow you are very introspective.” No, Doc, I just know I am clinically insane & I like having several problems at once & this just seemed to suit me for the last few months thanks for your time see you soon.

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He did, however, tell me I was thin & that makes my visit all worth while.

 

Time: 1.5 hours | Serves: 6 patties

  • 2 cans of chickpeas, drained + rinsed
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 1/2 cup of cooked brown rice or quinoa (brown rice used here)
  • 4 tbsp. of garlic, minced
  • 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese, grated
  • 1/4 cup of panko breadcrumbs
  • 1 cup of buffalo sauce
  • Plenty of S+P
  • Toasted buns, for serving

How to:

  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees
  • In a food processor, combine onion + chickpeas + S+P
  • Process on low until combined, 1-2 minutes
  • Add brown rice + garlic + 1/2 the buffalo sauce +  S+P, process 30 seconds, do not get it runny or liquidy or they wont make patties!
  • In a large bowl, add chickpea mix + parmesan + breadcrumbs + S+P
  • Form into patties + arrange on a lined baking sheet
  • Pour remaining buffalo sauce on top
  • Bake for 30 minutes, flipping once in the middle of cooking
  • Serve hot on a toasted bun with ranch or blue cheese or something else sissies use to calm the heat
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24 thoughts on “Buffalo Chickpea Burgers

  1. Linda says:

    Well I’m sorry to hear of your ‘alleged’ illness…but I’m glad it was all in your head and of course hearing that you’re thin makes everything better! And these delicious chickpea burgers will keep you thin 🙂 YUM

    Like

    • Rachel says:

      Hahaha it’s sad, but true. I go in all sad & sickly. Come out feeling grand like “ahh it’s ok I’m thin so nothing can get me down.” Yes, these babies are so yummy. Thanks for reading, Linda!

      Like

  2. Jenna says:

    This looks amazing I definitely want to give it a try soon!! I’ve been there telling the doctor my symptoms, and their like nope, nothing is there. I’m like really?? We’re totally not crazy at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. chefboyrh3aly says:

    As much as we hate to admit it, I keep coming to the same conclusion. For awhile I kept having pains in my stomach. I swore something was wrong and went to various doctors. Every time they told me one thing and that was anxiety. I thought, I never had that before, I don’t get how that could be it. This pain is real. From then I moved out of state and to be honest , I have no had the pains in a long time. My cousins boyfriend is in and out of the hospital with the same thing. He over reacts so that doesn’t help, but the doctors found noting wrong. After doing my own research I found out that stress really can put physical pain on you. Ihope this helps 💚

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    • Rachel says:

      You know, I think you’re onto something with the moving thing. My symptoms started shortly after I moved cross country. I think that was a HUGE part of it & feel like I can relax a little more now knowing it’s probably just stress. Thank you for sharing your story & for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Suzanne Costigan says:

        Just to chime in here. 🙂 Please don’t say “just stress”… my goodness stress takes people down on a daily basis. Are you still getting these feelings? You could be having panic attacks, often people can’t get air into their lungs. Even though the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with you in that moment doesn’t mean its nothing. 🙂 Take stress very seriously.

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  4. Island Gal says:

    Wow…sounds like symptoms I’ve had( among many others) before discovering my allergies. I do hope it’s all in your head, but I believe our bodies are always giving us signals, to let us know when something is off or out of balance. If it’s not too inconvenient, I would see an allergist and run some tests just to rule out the possibility and maybe offer some peace of mind. BTW..Great recipe and can’t wait to try.!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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